


I Want to Understand

by CoreyWW



Series: I Want to Understand-verse AU (Chronological Order) [5]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Adorable, Adorkable, Alien Cultural Differences, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Art, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Crush, Awkward Flirting, Awkwardness, Blushing, Comedy, Crushes, Crying, Cute, Dramedy, F/F, F/M, Family Bonding, Family Dinners, Female Friendship, Fire, First Crush, First Kiss, Fish out of Water, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Funny, Hilarious, Hilarity Ensues, Homeworld (Steven Universe), Humor, Interrogation, Lies, Light-Hearted, Log Date 7 15 2: The Series, Love Confessions, Male-Female Friendship, Office, Reading, Redemption, Romantic Friendship, Secret Crush, Secrets, Slice of Life, Sweet, Teaching, Thanks to LonelyTurret182 for beta reading!, Very similar to the premise of Log Date 7 15 2, Workplace, silly beach city adventures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-04-26 14:39:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 59,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5008579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoreyWW/pseuds/CoreyWW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After stopping the Cluster, Peridot must face her next challenge: adjusting to life on her new planet and learning about humans that populate it. Knowing just how out of depth Peridot is, Steven enlists Connie's help in getting Peridot used to humans and acclimated to Beach City.</p><p>Considering Peridot has no social skills whatsoever, this goes about as well as you'd expect ...</p><p>Funny episodic "Peridot in Beach City" adventures about how Peridot changes over time. Diverges from canon after The Answer (Though by coincidence, the premise of story basically makes this "Log Date 7 15 2: The Series")</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Study Buddies pt. 1

“Peridot’s log,” said Peridot into her tape recorder. “The Steven appears to have brought me some manner of peace offering.” She sat in the bathroom floor and prodded the cardboard box with her finger. “It seems to be coated with some form of protective coating created from plant extract, held together by a series of primitive adhesive strips.”

“It’s called wrapping paper,” said Steven, sitting next to the sink and smiling.

Peridot’s eye twitched. She stopped her tape recorder.

“Um, do you mind? You’re compromising the scientific integrity of my assessment.”

“Oh ... sorry,” he whispered. 

Peridot pressed record again.

“The ...” Peridot sighed and made finger-quotes with her remaining hand. “‘Wrapping paper’ appears etched with images of ... tortured Earth creatures? I’m not certain. They appear similar to the sign the Steven placed on the Galaxy Warp ...”

“Oh, yeah, sorry, the only wrapping paper I had left was the Crying Breakfast Friends kind.”

“Crying _what_ Friends?”

Steven’s eyes lit up. 

“Oh, it’s this really neat cartoon where these...” Steven thought for a minute, then shook his head. “Uh, actually it’s kinda hard to explain their appeal.” He perked up. “We could watch it later though.”

“Hm, I doubt these ... _things_ would be worthy of further--” 

Peridot glanced over and saw Steven give what she had recently been informed is called the “puppy dog stare,” a pathetic technique of using cuteness as psychological warfare. 

Peridot, of course, assured herself she was too intelligent to fall for such a cheap tactic. 

Steven’s eyes seemed to get wider and his lip pouted. Peridot looked away and finally sighed. 

“Ugh, fine,” Peridot said. “We’ll watch your mentally scarring program later, just discontinue the pouting!” 

Steven raised his hands in the air, grinning a huge grin. 

“Yay, victory!” he said. 

Peridot sighed. She drew her attention back to the box. 

“Might I ask what the occasion for ... whatever this is?” she asked. 

“It’s just as a thank you,” Steven said. “For helping us stop the Cluster and staying here and, you know, being a good guy now.” 

Peridot chuckled and shook her head. 

“You do realize I only did those things out of a desire to _not die_ , right?” she said. 

Steven wagged her finger. 

“Nuh uh, you can’t fool me, Peridot,” he said in a sing-song voice. “You may act all tough, but I know inside you have a big heart.” 

“... I have no idea what a heart is,” she said. But even as she said this, Steven’s smile beamed so intensely she felt herself return it without even meaning to; it was contagious. “But I’ll accept the compliment regardless.” 

Peridot sat the box in her lap. She examined the “wrapping paper” around it to look for an opening, but seemingly each one sealed with the adhesive strip. She scratched at one of the strips on the corners, if she was careful she believed she could lift it and open one of the flaps just enough to-- 

“Uh, Peridot,” said Steven slowly, “it’s okay to tear up the wrapping paper.” 

Peridot glanced up at Steven. She could feel a bead of sweat drip near the Gem on her forehead. 

“ _I knew that_!” she said. “I just- I like doing it this way!” 

“Oh, well, that’s okay!” 

Peridot paused, then with a single motion dug her fingers into the paper and ripped it all off, adhesive strips and all. 

“Uh, Peridot,” said Steven. “I thought you said--”

“ _I changed my mind._ ” 

She opened the box and immediately recognized what it was. 

“More tapes!” Peridot shouted. It was more enthusiasm than she liked to show, but she couldn’t contain it. The box was stuffed with the primitive magnetic audio transcoders Steven had called “cassette tapes.” 

“Yep!” said Steven. “My dad had a ton of these! I figured the one I gave you might be close to full by now, so I wanted to make sure you never ran out!” 

Peridot pawed through the tapes, ecstatic. This gift was actually something practical, something that would allow her to continue her logs. She was so glad to have the recorder. She would have gone crazy without it. 

She looked back up to see Steven giving a small smile. Such a peculiar creature, Peridot thought. He seemed to get more joy from watching her enjoy a gift than he ever would getting one himself. 

Peridot gave him a serious look. She coughed uneasily. Offering praise to someone other than herself was a skill she was still learning. 

“Steven ...” she said slowly. “I’m ... grateful for this.” She added. “And I suppose I should thank you for giving me this device in the first place.” She held up the tape recorder. “It’s ... meant a lot to have this. Thank you.” 

Steven laughed as if it was no big deal. Peridot doubted he understood the significance, but that was fine. It was ... amusing just to see him content like that, she supposed. 

“It’s no big deal!” said Steven, excited. “Besides, I kinda wanted to make sure you had enough tapes to talk about all the fun things we’re gonna do around Beach City. It'll be cool to hear what you think.” 

Peridot felt a chill run from her Gem to every nerve of her physical construct. She tightened her grip on the tape recorder. 

“Beach City,” she said. “You want to hear what I think about ... the city?” 

“Yeah, of course! There’s so much awesome stuff to show you! There’s Funland, the Big Donut, lots of stuff and--” Steven stopped and raised an eyebrow. “Hey, are you alright?” 

“Of course!” Peridot snapped back. “Don’t be ridiculous! Why WOULDN’T I be alright?!” 

“Okay ...” said Steven carefully. “I was just gonna say if you were afraid to go in the city or something--” 

Peridot felt her face flush. 

“I’m not _afraid_ to go into the city,” she shouted. She forced a smile. “What make you think that with the Cluster gone that there would be anything on this underdeveloped pile of space junk that could possibly intimidate _me_?!” 

Steven just stared at Peridot wordlessly. She looked in his eyes and she knew she wasn’t fooling anyone. Peridot sighed. 

“Alright, perhaps I am ... apprehensive,” she said. “As much as I’ve come to understand about this planet’s irregularities, I can’t much say the same for its ... inhabitants.” 

“Whaaaaaat?!” said Steven raising his arms. “That’s crazy! You get along great with me and the Crystal Gems-” 

“Ha! ‘Great’ might be something of a stretch, but I’m at least capable of _understanding_ you all. You are Gems. But these other lifeforms, these ... _humans_... I have no clue what to make of them.” 

“But I’m human!” said Steven. “Well ... half anyway.”

“Yes, and I’m still unclear how that’s even scientifically possible.” 

“Oh well, that started when back when my dad was playing this concert, he gave my mom a t-shirt, I think Onion’s mom was around for like a minute, and then--” 

“See, that’s what I mean, _I didn’t understand any part of that sentence!_ I have no clue how humans even function. I doubt I could feign assimilation into their society even if I _wanted_ to.” 

Peridot glanced back down at her tape recorder. As much as she appreciated having it, she couldn’t help longing for her screen. She gritted her teeth. She hated this, being cut off from any source of information, as isolated and stupid as a gem still underground. 

“If I just had access to my old reports, I could at least find SOME frame of reference,” she said. 

“You don’t... remember anything from them?” 

“My mission was to check progress on the Cluster, interacting with under-evolved life was never integral to my mission since, you know, _none of it was gonna be there for much longer_!” She waved her hand dismissively. “And I didn’t have the foresight to plan for skills that would help me _commit treason_ at the time.” She sighed. “I’d just rather know what I’m getting into. If I just had a sample, a report, just some sort of reference material just to get some SENSE of how these creature are supposed to--” 

Peridot stopped. Steven was smiling wide, his eyes glinting like distant stars. 

“What?” asked Peridot. 

“Steven has an idea,” he whispered. 

Steven stood up so suddenly Peridot flinched. 

“WAITRIGHTTHEREI’LLBERIGHTBACK!” he yelled as he ran out the door. 

“Wait Steven, what are you-” But Steven was already gone.

* * *

“You want me to _what_?!” asked Connie as Steven pulled her by the hand toward the temple. Rose’s sword and scabbard bumped against her back as they walked along the sand, barely held on by the strap fastened along the front of her shirt. 

“It’s nothing!” said Steven cheerfully. “I just want you to let Peridot talk to you for a bit so she can not be so nervous about humans and Earth and stuff!” 

“B-but Steven,” said Connie. “Are you sure that’s safe? I mean, wasn’t she evil like two weeks ago?” 

“It’s ... been a little longer than that,” he said. “I-I think.” 

“And didn’t she try to kill you like three times?”

Steven slowed his pace. 

“It... was only once,” he said meekly. “Like one and a half tops.” 

“ _Once is too many, Steven_!” 

Steven let go of her hand as they approached the front steps of his house. 

“Look,” said Steven seriously. “I know this is a weird thing to ask ... but Peridot helped us out a lot with the Cluster and she seems like she’s genuinely trying to be a good Gem now. And I promise, she isn’t gonna hurt you. She’s really approachable now that she doesn’t have all her scary robot parts.” 

Connie bit her lip. 

“I ... I don’t know,” said Connie. 

Steven reached out and gently touched Connie’s shoulder. 

“Please, Connie,” said Steven. “It will help her out a lot. She’s never talked to a human before. I want you to be the first one she meets.” 

“Why me?” whispered Connie. 

Steven looked away, his cheeks blushing. 

“Well ... I-I just know that if I had never met a human before, I’d feel less scared if the first one I met was someone like you.” 

Connie felt a lump in her throat. She smiled back. It was schmaltzy, sure, but it was good schmaltz. Connie wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

She took a deep breath and sighed. 

“Alright ... I’m ... still kinda nervous about this, but I’ll try,” said Connie. “Maybe it won’t be so awkward.” 

“Sure it won’t.” Steven walked up the steps towards the front door. “Now come on, she’s staying in my bathroom now.” 

“Okay su-- wait, why is she living in your bathroom?” 

“I dunno,” said Steven as he opened the front door. “She just kinda ended up there and got attached to it. She says she finds the sound of water fixtures soothing.” 

They approached the door to Steven’s bathroom. Steven put his hand up to signal Connie to stay back. Connie nodded silently as Steven knocked on the door. 

“Peridot~” he said, “I have another surprise!” 

The door cracked open just a bit. All Connie could make out of Peridot was the yellowish glint off her visor. 

“Another surprise?” said Peridot in a crackling voice. “What--”

Peridot’s eyes locked onto Connie. Even underneath the visor, Connie could see Peridot’s eyes get wide as she slammed the door shut. 

“WHAT IS THAT?!” screeched Peridot from behind the door. 

“Peridot!” said Steven. “It’s okay, it’s just my friend Connie. I wanted you to meet her and see what humans are like!” After there was no response from behind the door, Steven added. “It’ll be fine. Connie’s the nicest person I know, you don’t have anything to worry about.” 

Connie caught eyes with Steven and smiled. It was nice of him to say all those things, she thought ... even though part of her felt it was ridiculous for someone as extraordinary as Steven to praise someone as _actually_ -ordinary as Connie. 

After a few uneasy seconds, the door creaked back open. Peridot stood in the doorway. Steven had told Connie about her actual size, but it was still surprising to see a Gem who was once a threat seem so ... small. She clutched a tape recorder in her hand, holding it tight as if she was afraid it would leave her at any moment. 

Peridot’s eyes stayed fixed on Connie. 

“Um, hi,” said Connie, touching her shoulder nervously. “My name is Connie, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” 

She extended her hand to Peridot. Peridot stared at it. 

“Yes, I see you have an ... arm,” said Peridot awkwardly. “Very nice.” 

“Um ... yeah,” said Connie, chuckling nervously as she put her hand back down. 

_Okay, apparently shaking hands isn’t a thing on Homeworld,_ Connie thought. 

Steven swallowed, a nervous smile plastered on his face. Connie knew he could probably tell how awkward she was feeling. He always seemed to know. 

“Ooo-kay, well!” Steven clapped his hands together. “You know what would help break the ice? Lemonade. Lemonade always breaks the ice.” 

“I wasn’t aware crystallized liquid factored into this exchange,” said Peridot. 

“No Peridot, I meant ...” Steven shook his head. “I’m just gonna go get lemonade. I’ll be right back.” He walked slowly backwards down the hall towards the kitchen, as if he was afraid if he turned his back for too long he’d miss something. 

Connie stood awkwardly in the hallway as Peridot’s gaze lingered on her. Connie shifted back and forth uneasily. 

“Um ... I’m sorry but ... do you have to stare?” asked Connie politely. 

Peridot cringed, then looked away. 

“Oh. Of course. Sorry.” Peridot pressed the record button on her tape recorder. “Peridot’s log, apparently the human doesn’t approve of uninterrupted visual observation. This has been noted.” 

She stopped the tape recorder, then coughed. “I apologize for any discomfort. As you can probably tell, I don’t have much experience interacting with your species.” 

Connie chuckled. “I-it’s okay really,” she said. “I’m not much of a social butterfly either.” 

“A what-erfly?” 

“It’s um ... it’s this colorful insect that flies around and ...” Peridot tilted her head in confusion. Connie took a deep breath. Speaking to an alien completely unfamiliar with Earth was even more difficult than she thought. “I-it’s a metaphor.” 

“And you’re ... _not_ one, correct?” 

“Yes, I’m not a butterfly.” 

“I see.” 

Connie had to stifle a nervous chuckle when she realized somehow her life had led down a path where she had to reassure an alien who was actually a rock that she was not, in fact, a butterfly. 

Peridot turned her recorder on. 

“Eccentricities aside, the human appears well capable of speech and remarkably displays at least sub-Gem level intelligence.” 

Connie raised her eyebrows. 

“I-I’m sorry, _sub-_ Gem level intelligence?” 

“Well, sure,” Peridot said, shrugging. “Of course nothing on this planet can approach Homeworld Gem intellect, but an underdeveloped life form being able to display even a miniscule fraction of that ...” Peridot smiled. “It’s a compliment really. You should feel honored.” 

“Uh ... huh,” said Connie slowly. She was biting her tongue as hard as possible. She kept in mind what Steven had said, that she had never spoken to a human before. She didn’t seem _intentionally_ malicious. Even so, it doesn’t feel good to be talked down to. 

Peridot walked around Connie slowly. “Well, I’m glad Steven was able to bring a somewhat interesting specimen,” said Peridot. 

“I uh ... what are you doing?” 

“I promise I’ll be brief,” said Peridot. She held up her recorder. “The human appears to be covered in rudimentary light garments which appears to provide no real protection.” Without asking, Peridot reached up and touched Connie’s hair. “Also appears to have long keratin strands growing from her head.” 

“Um, Peridot,” said Connie, still trying to be nice despite feeling her patience run down. “On Earth we have this thing called ‘personal space’ that-- _hey_!” 

Peridot prodded Connie’s cheek with her finger once. If Peridot noticed the horrendous glare Connie gave her after, she didn’t show it. 

“The human’s physical structure feels ... gooshy,” said Peridot into the recorder. “Composed made of organic matter, a dramatic contrast to the photonic constructs of Gems, clearly incapable of any kind of energy manipulation or fusion.” 

“Well, actually--” 

“Please don’t interrupt. It’s quite rude.” 

“ _I’m_ rude?! You--” Connie tightened her fist and shut her mouth. _Doing this for Steven_ , she told herself. _Remember you’re doing this for Steven._

“In all honesty, I’m starting to wonder why I was anxious at all,” continued Peridot as she walked behind Connie. “These humans seem mostly harmless, rather straightforward in--” 

Peridot stopped, her eyes suddenly transfixed on the pink scabbard strapped to Connie’s back. When she spoke, it was no longer in the irritatingly condescending tone she had been using. It was in _awe_. 

“What,” whispered Peridot, “is that?” 

Connie managed a small smile. Finally, something that stopped her from being a jerk for a few seconds. 

“Oh, it’s a sword.” Peridot just kept staring at the scabbard. Connie hastily added, “It’s like a sharp piece of metal-” 

Peridot’s eyes flashed with anger. 

“ _I know what a sword is_! I mean why do YOU have it?! That’s a Gem sword! An antique! An ancient weapon beyond anything YOUR species could craft!” She gently touched the scabbard. “Looks like one anyway. How’d you get this?!” 

Connie glared. “You want to ask a little nicer?” said Connie. 

Peridot’s eye twitched for a moment, but then she took a breath. 

“I command you to answer ... _please_ ,” she said. 

Connie folded her arms. “Not that it’s any of your business, but Steven let me use it to practice sword-fighting.” 

Peridot seemed to digest her words for just a moment, then suddenly covered her mouth and started snickering. 

“And what exactly is so funny?” said Connie, not even bothering to hide her disdain. 

Peridot had tears in her eyes as she tried to stifle her laughter. 

“Oh wow, I didn’t know you humans were _funny_ too!” said Peridot. “You’d have to be a Quartz or stronger to wield a weapon of that size! I mean, _really_ , the idea of someone of your structure _lifting_ that, let alone SWING it...” She tried to go on, but just burst out laughing again. 

Connie grinded her teeth as Peridot laughed. She’d had just about enough of this. 

“I _can_ lift it,” Connie muttered. 

But Peridot just laughed harder. 

“Pfft, yeah right!” chuckled Peridot. “Oh wow, Steven should have brought you to me sooner! You’re _great_! You are just too--” 

Before Connie could stop herself, she tugged on the strap along the front of her shirt. Her right hand went up to her shoulder just as the hilt shot in her hand. In one careful motion, slowly guided it out of the scabbard as far from Peridot as possible. She held it in front of her for just a moment, steady, careful not to swing or wave it; she didn’t want to hurt anyone.  Her eyes locked on to Peridot, never faltering for a moment. 

Peridot stared back at Connie, absolutely stunned. Her tape recorder fell from her fingers. Her eyes kept darting back to the sword and back to Connie, as if she expected it to be some illusion that would eventually evaporate. 

Connie, not wanting to put anyone’s safety at risk no matter how frustrated she was, held the sword back at her side. She had to be careful. She shouldn’t have even unsheathed it inside ... but still, the look on Peridot’s face was so priceless she couldn’t help feel some satisfaction. 

“I’m sorry, did I interrupt again?” said Connie. “Was that rude? 

Peridot seemed to shake ever so slightly. 

“That’s ... that’s impossible,” she muttered. 

Connie’s smile fell. 

“Hey, are you alright?” Connie slowly reached out with her free hand. “Hey, I didn’t mean to scare you or--" 

Peridot flinched away from her. 

Connie felt a dark pit form in her chest. She finally realized she was doing ... what, exactly? Showing off? For what? Because someone who had no idea what this planet was like made her feel bad for a second? And she was holding a WEAPON in her hand, what was she _doing_?!” 

“Hey, it’s okay,” said Connie. “I’m not gonna hurt you. I’m sorry. I was just ... I don’t like being talked down to.” 

She felt her voice raise ever so slightly, but at this point she felt she had no choice but to be honest. 

“I came here because Steven asked me to help you understand humans and I want to help, but you’ve just been treating me like an inferior this whole time! I mean, would you like that?!” 

Peridot said nothing. 

“Just ... can’t we just talk like equals. Can you stop just treating me like a science project?! Can’t we try to just ... be friends? For Steven if nothing else?!” 

Peridot blinked. 

“You ...” Peridot clenched her fists and leaned forward. “ _How dare you_?” She raised her finger in the air. “You _dare_ imply that I’ve been intimidated by the likes of you _?_! I was simply ... startled! And then you think you can lecture me! What gives you the right?! And as for that weapon--” She glanced down at the sword, and gave a fiendish smile. “Aha! I understand everything now! This was all deception! If you could swing that--” 

Before Connie could react, Peridot placed both hands on the guard of the sword. It caught Connie off-balance before she could tighten her grip. 

“Hey, what are you--” was all Connie got out before Peridot used all her weight to wrestle it away. 

“If you can swing this, _it can’t possibly be real_!” 

Peridot pulled it away, only to immediately stagger backwards from the massive weight of it. 

“Uh oh, whoa, whoa, WHOA!” screamed Peridot as she tried to raise it upwards, only for her small body to topple backwards. 

“ _Peridot_!” yelled Connie. She reached out, but it was too late. Peridot twirled backwards through the bathroom doorway. As the door swung after she fell through, Connie could hear glass breaking, tearing, and, finally, a loud, wet thump. 

Connie ran in. 

“Peridot, are you okay?!” 

Peridot lay in the middle of the now-completely decimated bathroom. The shower curtain was in several pieces, the mirror was shattered, and the toilet had a sizable chunk cleaved out of it lying the floor next Peridot’s head. 

But Connie barely noticed all of that when she saw Peridot lying in the floor with Rose’s sword sticking through her chest. Connie felt the color drain from her face. 

“Oh my gosh, PERIDOT!” she shouted. Connie kneeled next to Peridot, her face turned away. “I am so sorry, are you alright? Say something!” 

“... cool ...” 

“What?!” 

Peridot’s head spun around. Her eyes seemed to light up as brightly as the gem on her forehead. 

“ _YOU’RE. SO. COOL_!” said Peridot. Connie just stared in abject disbelief. 

“W-what?!” 

Peridot clenched her fists, seemingly unaware she was impaled. This didn’t seem like to the kind of thing anyone could just _overlook_ , whether you were a Gem or not, but Peridot was proving otherwise. 

“I can’t believe it, that’s a real sword,” said Peridot. “It’s really real. This is incredible! I never considered humans could comprehend even the most rudimentary of Gem technology, let alone wield it! You waved it around like a toy and it’s as big as _you_! It practically defies physics! This is _amazing_! There’s finally the slimmest possibility there’s something WORTHY of study on this backwards planet!” 

Peridot kicked with her feet like a kid playing in footie pajamas. 

“I FINALLY HAVE SOMETHING TO DO!” 

She glanced back at Connie. Connie kept trying to say something, anything, but no words came out. Peridot saw this and frowned. 

“You were ... correct in what you were saying,” said Peridot. “I was the one behaving like an inferior, not you. I want us to--” 

“P-Peridot,” Connie managed to say. 

Peridot scrunched her face up. 

“What’s wrong?! Why are you not accepting my praise properly?!” 

Connie managed to point to the sword in Peridot’s chest. 

“What?” said Peridot. “What are you pointing at--” She finally looked down at her chest. 

“Oh.” 

She looked up at the ceiling. 

“ _Ohhh_...” 

There was a loud poof as Peridot erupted into white smoke. Peridot’s triangular green gem clattered on the tile floor. The sword crashed down next to it. 

Connie stared, mouth agape, at the gem on the floor. Connie’s mind was a complete blank. There was silence for almost an entire minute ... until Steven called out from down the hall. 

“Okay, who’s ready for some lemonade _~_?” 


	2. Study Buddies pt. 2

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, I can’t believe this happened, _I can NOT believe this happened,_ ” said Connie as she frantically paced the living room floor. She held onto Peridot’s tape recorder so tightly she could hear the plastic crack; her head felt like it was spinning so fast she couldn’t even focus enough to turn the stupid thing off. Rose’s sword  and scabbard was propped against the wall by the couch, as far away from her as possible; it made Connie sick to even _look_ at it right now. She was barely able to hold herself together long enough to explain to Steven what had happened. 

“Connie, Connie, it’s okay,” Steven said. Steven was holding the Peridot’s small, triangular gem in one hand and a glass of freshly squeezed lemonade in the other. “Her Gem isn’t cracked, she just got poofed. She’ll be fine, I promise. Everything is okay-" 

“GETTING IMPALED IS THE MOST _OPPOSITE_ OF ‘OKAY’ THING I CAN IMAGINE! I just--” Connie clutched her hair in one hand. She could feel her eyes start to sting. “This is all my fault. I--” 

“Connie, it was just an accident. You didn’t expect Peridot to jerk the sword away from you. You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

“Oh _yeah_! Brandishing a weapon just to prove a point is _totally_ fine! If I hadn’t done that, _none_ of this would have happened! And just when she started saying nice stuff, she just got poofed! I couldn’t feel MORE terrible. I--” 

“Listen Connie,” said Steven, suddenly stern. “Please, before you say anything else, drink this lemonade.” Steven held out the glass to Connie. 

“What?!” shouted Connie. “ _Why_?” 

“Because I kinda think it’s physically impossible to have a nervous breakdown if you’re drinking freshly-squeezed lemonade.” 

Connie knew Steven was basing this assertion on literally nothing, but was so anxious she couldn’t get the words out to argue with him. 

“Please ... just take a deep breath and have a sip,” Steven said. 

Connie hesitated for just a moment, then put the tape recorder on the living room table before she slowly grabbed the glass. The mostly-sugar liquid sloshed around as he hand shook involuntarily. She steadied the glass with both hands, took as deep a breath as she could manage, and took a sip. 

“How’s it taste?” Steven said slowly. 

“... citrisy,” Connie said, staring down into the glass. 

“Did that help?” 

Connie’s breathing slowed down. She glanced up at Steven and managed a very nervous smile. 

“A little, actually,” said Connie. “Thank you.” 

“See? Lemonade is the _best_ science.” 

Connie even managed to chuckle at that. Her eyes were drawn to the Gem in Steven’s hand. 

“You’re really sure she’s alright?” said Connie. 

“Sure. I mean, one time Amethyst got poofed like ... five times in a day and she came back in a couple minutes.” 

“Then ... why is Peridot not already ... ‘un-poofed’ or whatever?” 

Steven scratched the back of his neck. 

“Well, sometimes it can take longer. Pearl took a ... liiiitle longer one time.” 

Connie took another careful sip of lemonade. 

“How much longer?” she asked. 

Steven clenched his teeth and looked away. 

“Uh, two weeks.”

The lemonade started sloshing over the edge of the glass as Connie’s hand shook involuntarily.

“ _Two wee--”_

Steven put his hands up.

“B-but that’s okay!” said Steven. “I mean, Amethyst says she thinks it only took longer because Pearl likes to think things through super carefully.” He paused. “Well, I mean, she _exactly_ said it was ‘cause Pearl’s a wuss’ ... I cleaned it up a little.”

“You don’t think she’ll be poofed THAT long, do you?”

“I don’t think so. When I freed her from the bubble a few weeks ago, she unpoofed right away. And that was only like an hour later.”

Connie sighed.

“Good,” she said. Connie took another sip of lemonade then put it on the table. “So, I guess we just ... wait?”

Steven rubbed his chin.

“Well, there are a _few_ things we can do until then.” He reached out and placed the gem in Connie’s hand. “Here, hold Peridot.”

"O-okay,” said Connie, clutching it carefully. It was odd. She’d never held a gem before. She expected it to feel warm, alive, but it felt just like a large, normal stone.

“Great! I’ll be right back!” Steven said.

Steven ran down the hall. Connie shifted uneasily, then sat down on the couch, still holding Peridot.

She wondered if Peridot was aware of anything that was happening now, if some part of her was still conscious or if she had just ... blacked out. Steven hadn’t exactly said; it was possible he didn’t know himself.

But even if Peridot wasn’t aware of what was going on, Connie still felt compelled to say _something_.

“Um ... hi,” said Connie. She turned the Gem over in her hands nervously. “I don’t really know if you can hear me but um ... I wanted to say I’m sorry you got stabbed. I-I know how you must feel ...”

Connie considered for a moment.

“Well, I mean, not _literally_ because I’ve never been stabbed before but I, uh, I can just imagine it wasn’t fun.” She coughed nervously. “I mean, I _did_ get my tonsils cut out once and that hurt a bunch afterward but I um ... I was put under and didn’t actually feel any of it while it was happening and it was so long ago I don’t even remember much about it ...” Connie’s voice gradually dropped to a whisper. “Yeah, that’s not-- this is not even remotely the same thing ...” 

The gem sat silently in her hands. 

Connie bit her lip. 

“I’m just trying to say ... I’m sorry,” Connie said. “And I ... thought it was really nice you said I was cool. I don’t ...” Connie sighed. “I don’t hear that a lot. Steven’s the only person who's ever said anything like that before so, you know, even if you totally hate me now which would be completely understandable, I thought that was a nice thing to say. And, you know, if you don’t hate me, maybe it would be nice if-- well, Steven’s the only friend I’ve ever had, so maybe it would be cool if you and I could be--” 

Connie flopped her hand down on the couch and clutched her face with her other hand. 

“What am I even doing?” Connie said. She looked at the gem. “You probably don’t even hear this, do you?” 

The gem said nothing. 

Connie gave a sad smile. 

“Yeah ... that’s what I thought.” 

Connie stiffened in the couch when she heard Steven run back from down the hall. He came back clutching two pillows and a huge blanket under his arm. 

“Alright, it’s go time!” he said cheerfully. “We might not be able to make her unpoof faster, but we can at least make her nice and comfortable.” 

Despite still feeling cruddy, Connie couldn’t help but smile. 

“Steven, how did you get so sweet?” said Connie. 

“Well, I _do_ eat a lot of sugar,” said Steven. He held a big smile until Connie and Steven both dissolved into giggles. 

Steven fluffed the pillows and set them next to Connie on the couch. 

“Okay, can I see Peridot?” said Steven. 

“Oh! Sure.” She handed the gem to Steven, who gently placed it on the pillow. 

“Okay, now we just get this ...” he said to himself as he grabbed Peridot’s tape recorder from the table and put it next to her Gem. “Annnnnd now the blanket.” 

Steven pulled the blanket from under his arm. Connie glanced down at it. 

“Uh, it’s a little dirty, Steven,” she said. 

Steven looked to see it was practically covered in pink hair from top the bottom. He groaned. 

“Ugh! _LION_! What are we going to do with you?!” Steven brushed the hair onto the floor before he unfolded it and carefully tucked the gem in with her tape recorder. He gave the gem a gentle pat. 

“Sweet dreams, tiny triangle,” Steven whispered. He backed away and held out his fingers in front of his eyes like he was framing a photo. “Hm ... it’s missing something ... OH YEAH!” 

Steven ran to the kitchen, then returned a few second later with another glass of lemonade with a bendy straw sticking out. 

“I promised lemonade,” Steven said as he placed it on the table in front of Peridot’s gem. “Hm...” He rubbed his chin for a moment, thinking, then bent the bendy straw towards the gem. “Perfect!” 

“Aww, that’s so nice, Steven,” said Connie. “And meticulous!” 

“What can I say?” Steven said. He clutched his hands dramatically in the air as if he was imitating Jamie when he’s in the drama zone. “I was-a born to _create_.” 

Connie giggled, but after a moment her smile started to fade. 

“I just wish there was something nice _I_ could do too. You know, to bury the hatchet.” Connie cringed at her own wording after a moment. “Well, I guess bury the ... sword in this case. Bury all deadly weapons.” 

Steven considered for a moment. 

“I could go get a shovel--” 

Connie smiled. 

“Not literally,” she said. 

Steven grinned. 

“Hehe, I know,” he said. 

“Is there something I could get her?” Connie asked. “What kind of things does she like?” 

“Hmm ...” Steven started to count off things on his fingers as she spoke. “Well ... she likes her tape recorder ... science ... saying the word ‘clod’ ... Amethyst, probably--” 

“Anything else?” 

“Oh!” Steven’s eyes brightened up. “She was just saying how much she loved to read reports back when she had her crazy robot finger screens!” 

Connie smiled. 

“She likes to read? That’s _perfect_!” she said. Connie hadn’t even considered she would have something like that in common with Peridot, but it certainly made sense. She got excited. “I know _exactly_ what to do! Before she comes back, we could--” 

Before Connie could finish, they were interrupted by the sound of Warp Pad powering up.

“Uh oh,” said Connie. 

“The Gems are coming back!” shouted Steven.

“What do we do?!” said Connie. Her breathing quickened.

_How am I going to explain this_?! she thought. _What if Pearl finds out? What if she doesn’t want to teach me anymore? What if she tells Mom?!_

She felt Steven’s hand grab hers. Connie looked over and saw him smiling at her nervously.

“I-it’s okay, don’t worry Connie,” he said. “I have an amazing plan.”

“What’s that?” she asked.

“Um ...” Steven positioned himself strategically in front of Peridot’s gem on the couch. “Basically it’s hoping they don’t look behind me until I think of an _actual_ plan.”

Before Connie had time to panic, a pillar of light emerged from the Warp Pad then, with a loud woosh, disappeared just as quickly, leaving behind only Garnet.

Connie did her best for force a smile. 

_It’s okay, Connie_ , she told herself. _Just act casual and everything will be okay._

Steven scratched the back of his head and chuckled nervously.

“Heeeey Garnet,” Steven said awkwardly. “Fancy seeing you here! In ... our house. Where we both live.”

Garnet gave a small smile.

“Yes. Fancy that.” She stepped off the Warp Pad. The light from the outside windows glinted off her shades, making it impossible to see her eyes. Garnet turned her head towards Connie. “Hello Connie. You and Steven having fun?”

“Yes,” said Connie, trying to ignore the pounding in her chest. “Yes, very much.”

“Yes! That is entirely true!” said Steven as he shuffled his feet and grinned to an almost aggressive degree. “Um so ... how was the Kindergarten?”

“Free of gem mutants,” said Garnet. “Pearl and Amethyst are still scouting the area. I just thought I’d just pop in check on you two.” 

“Oh, well,” Connie chuckled nervously. “That’s very nice, but why would you want to--” 

“So I’m assuming Peridot’s gem is undamaged.” 

Connie’s jaw dropped. She glanced over to Steven, whose face was extremely red. 

Garnet simply folded her arms. The smile had not left her face. 

“I-” Connie said once the shock wore off and she remembered she could speak. “How--” 

Garnet pointed to her shades. 

“Future vision.” 

Steven ran up right next to Connie, placing himself in between her and Garnet. 

“Wait! I can explain!” he said. 

Garnet put her arms down. 

“Okay,” Garnet said. “I’m listening.” 

“Um ... uh ...” Steven cringed. “Okay, I’ll be honest, I hadn’t thought that far ahead ...” 

Connie put her hand on Steven’s shoulder. 

“It’s okay, Steven.” Connie took a deep breath. “I don’t want you to lie.” She looked up at Garnet. “It was all my fault, ma’am.” 

“N-no!” said Steven taking a step forward. “Connie’s just covering for me! This was all my fault!” 

“ _Steven_!” Connie said, but Steven kept going. 

“Please, Garnet, just ground from TV again or something, Connie didn’t do-- 

Garnet put her hand up. Steven immediately stopped talking. 

“No one’s going to get grounded from anything,” said Garnet calmly. She went down on one knee. Despite having her shades drawn, Connie could feel Garnet’s eyes staring directly into her. “I know it was just an accident. Just promise you’ll be more careful ... and calm down.” 

Connie took a deep breath. 

“Okay ...” Connie said. “Thank you.” 

Garnet turned to Steven. 

“And Steven ... don’t lie. It’s wrong. And you’re not great at it.” 

Steven’s eyes cast down to the floor. 

“I know it’s wrong ... I’m sorry,” Steven said. 

Garnet rubbed Steven’s hair playfully. 

“It’s okay,” Garnet said. “Everyone make mistakes.” 

“Even you?” Steven said. 

Garnet paused, then added, “ _Almost_ everyone makes mistakes." 

Steven chuckled. “Oh Garnet, you’re such a cut-up,” he said. 

Connie felt as if a huge weight had lifted off of her. At least she didn’t have to worry about getting in any deeper trouble. Not that that made anything that had happened okay, but it felt good that she could focus entirely on _Peridot’s_ safety rather than having part of her mind selfishly worry about her own. 

Garnet walked over to the couch and examined Peridot’s gem. She picked up the tape recorder.  
“Hm,” Garnet said. 

“What?” Connie said. 

“Nothing.” Garnet pressed a button and put it back down. “Peridot’s gem appears to have been well taken care of.” She touched the blanket on Peridot’s gem. “Very Steven-y.” 

“Awwwww, shucks,” said Steven bashfully. Steven thought for a moment then turned back to Connie. “Oh wait! Connie, didn’t you want to get something for Peridot?” 

“Oh! Right!” After the shock of Garnet arriving, she had almost forgotten. “Um ... is Peridot going to be alright just on the couch like that?” 

Garnet sat on the couch next to Peridot’s gem. 

“I’ll watch Peridot,” said Garnet. “You two go.” 

“Aww, you’re such a bro, Garnet,” said Steven. He ran up to Garnet on the couch with a huge grin and held up his fist. “Fist bump?” 

Garnet gave a sweet smile. The gem on Garnet’s left hand glowed for just a moment as one of her huge gauntlets formed in a flash.

“Fist bump,” she said as she gently tapped Steven’s fist with it before letting it degenerate. 

Connie reached for Steven’s hand. She was about to head towards the front door when she gave Garnet one last look. 

“Um ... Garnet?” 

“Yes, Connie?” 

“If ... Peridot comes to before we get back ... could you just tell her I’m sorry for everything? Please?” said Connie. 

Garnet paused, then nodded. 

“Don’t worry,” Garnet said. “I’ll make sure she knows.”

* * *

_Well ... that was embarrassing_ was Peridot’s first thought as she felt her construct regenerate. 

_Mental note: become more experienced in physical exertion without limb enhancers,_ she thought angrily as she felt her photons emerge from her Gem, solidifying and turning into nerves, giving her an irritating pins-and-needles sensation throughout her entire being. 

_Yes ... good_ , she thought as she reformed. Everything seemed to be falling into place: her touch stumps, her legs, her hair (triangular and each point at _just_ the right angle, of course; after all, being stuck on a cosmic backwater was no excuse not to have _some_ style) ... and finally, her vision spheres. Everything was bright at first until she saw ... 

A glass container of yellow mystery liquid? 

Peridot shook her head and realized she was lying on the living room couch, staring at a glass on the table. She was underneath some kind of blue fuzzy relaxation tarp; she thought she recognized it as something Steven wrapped himself in when he does his daily “sleep” ritual, a period of intense laziness when Steven lays motionless for an entire night cycle which no one else seemed to find concerning for some reason. She clutched it to herself. 

“Hm ... oddly comfortable,” Peridot said. She touched her chest, which felt intact. She let out a sigh of relief. “No longer impaled. A measurable improvement.” 

“Morning, sunshine.” 

“GYAH!” Peridot immediately shot to her feet to see Garnet sitting next to her on the couch with Peridot’s tape recorder in her hand. 

Once the initial shock wore off, Peridot’s eyes narrowed at the permafusion. 

“Oh, great ... _you two_ ,” said Peridot. 

Garnet was not even looking directly at Peridot ... or at least her head was staring straight forward. The dark visor on her face made it difficult to tell. Peridot wasn’t even sure why she kept it drawn all the time. It was infuriating. It’s not as if her vision needed protection from solar light and radiation _indoors_. 

Must be one of her many eccentricities, Peridot figured. Like insisting on being fused at all times. Peridot didn’t even want to get _started_ on that subject. 

“Don’t stand on the couch,” said Garnet finally. 

Peridot turned up her nose at Garnet. 

“Hmph,” she said. “I do not _yield_ to your commands, you--” 

Garnet held one hand up as her Gem glowed and formed a gauntlet. 

Peridot flinched, then immediately sat down, her feet no longer on the couch. 

“Better,” Garnet said as her gauntlet disappeared. 

Peridot glared back at Garnet, angrily wringing the relaxation tarp in her hands. 

“So are you here for some other reason than to threaten physical violence?” said Peridot. She looked around. “And where’s Steven and his soldier friend?” 

“You mean Connie?” Garnet said. 

“Right, that one. Where is she? Our conversation was just getting interesting before the ... _unpleasantness_.” Peridot shot Garnet the nastiest look she could. “Besides I’d vastly prefer speaking to someone _singular_.” 

If Garnet was phased by that, she didn’t show it. Her tone was the same it always was. She turned the tape recorder over in her hand. 

“Steven and Connie are out getting something for you. I offered to watch your Gem and keep you safe while they did.” 

Peridot raised her eyebrows. That was the last thing she expected Garnet to do, especially since Peridot didn’t make it a secret she was still adjusting to such ... _permissive_ attitudes on this planet in regards to fusion. 

“Your welcome, by the way,” Garnet added. 

“Oh. Yes. Well.” Peridot coughed. “I’m ... not ungrateful for that. That was unnecessarily polite of ... you two? Or ... is it one?” Peridot scratched her forehead. “Is there ... which would you consider appropriate? Do you have a preference or is it based on the situation--” 

“Don’t strain yourself.” 

“Very well. Thank you to ...” Peridot gestured in Garnet’s general direction. “You all, I suppose.” Peridot stared at the glass of yellow liquid on the table, which seemed to have a plastic thin piping floating in it. It was bent towards her. Even though she couldn’t decipher its function, she felt compelled to bend it back and forth as she spoke to Garnet. “So did they give any particular purpose towards getting me something?” 

“Hmm ... probably because of this.” 

Garnet held down on the rewind button of Peridot’s tape recorder then pressed play. Peridot was surprised when she heard Connie’s voice. 

“ _Oh yeah! Brandishing a weapon just to prove a point is totally fine! If I hadn’t done that, none of this would have happened! And just when she started saying nice stuff, she just got poofed! I couldn’t feel MORE terrible.”_

Garnet stopped the recorder. 

Peridot’s mouth hung open. 

“How did that get on my--” 

“You must have left your recorder running,” said Garnet. 

Peridot threw her hands up. 

“B-but what she was saying is completely illogical!” Peridot said. “The human did nothing wrong! _I_ was the one who damaged myself! _I_ was the one provoking _her_. There’s no reason she should feel the need to _offer_ me anything!” 

“I agree.” 

“Well, I suppose that’d be the first time we ... two and/or three Gems have agreed on anything.” She folded her arms. “I don’t understand this planet’s culture at all. All this need for ... _etiquette_ and politeness even when it’s not warranted. Why?” She glanced over at Garnet. “Is there some form of secret militia I’m not aware of that enforces this behavior?” 

“Yes. It’s called a conscience.” 

“Oh, _ha ha_ , very amusing,” said Peridot. She twiddled her touch stumps together, speaking in a much softer tone. “It’s not as if I don’t have emotions as well, you know ...” 

Garnet gave a small smirk. 

“Oh, _I know_.” She pressed the rewind button on Peridot’s recorder then pressed play again. 

“Whoa, what are you--” said Peridot before she heard her own voice on the recording. 

“ _In addition to being the only true Gem on the team, Amethyst clearly has the most ..._ impressive _physical structure.”_

Peridot felt herself blush. 

“Turn it off!” shouted Peridot, but the tape continued. 

_“Specifically I found it difficult not to notice that her, um, well, her hips are--”_

Peridot dove over the couch and, despite almost fumbling it, managed to snatch the tape recorder from Garnet’s hand. 

“T-those were academic _,_ purely _academic_ observations!” said Peridot. She shook the tape recorder in Garnet’s direction. “And I’ll thank you _not_ to invade my privacy.” 

Garnet still looked rather pleased with herself. 

“Sorry. Came across that by accident. Couldn’t resist.” Garnet’s smile faded. “But in all seriousness ... if you _really_ want to understand humans, you should listen to the rest of your tape. It picked up a lot.” 

Peridot glanced down at the recorder, then glared back up at Garnet. 

“So you want _me_ to violate another’s privacy as well?” said Peridot. “How moral of you.” 

Garnet shrugged. 

“Then don’t listen.” She got up from the couch. “But we both know you’re going to.” 

“Oh, so it’s _this_ again.” Peridot pointed at Garnet. “Just because one of your Gems happens to have tachyon clairvoyance--” 

“Future vision.” 

Peridot rolled her eyes. 

“Tachyon clairvoyance is the _accurate_ term,” Peridot said. 

“My name’s better,” Garnet said. 

“Alright, your ‘ _reality-cheater_ ’ vision, _whatever_! You think because you have that ability, you _assume_ you know everything I know before I’m going to do it?!” 

“Yes.” Garnet started walking calmly towards the front door. “And remember to watch your step.” 

Peridot, still riled up, continued speaking. 

“Well ... I refute this!” Peridot went on as Garnet opened the front door. “That ability is not 100% accurate! You can’t predict my actions! I’m a variable, you hear me?! THE FUTURE IS WHAT I DEMAND IT!” 

The front door shut behind Garnet. Peridot stared at the tape recorder, then with a huff, tossed it on the table. She curled up on the couch, with her feet on it again in open defiance, clutching the relaxation tarp around her body. She turned away from the recorder, openly snubbing it. 

“As if I’d resort to listening to someone else’s private log,” muttered Peridot to herself. “As if I have no standards at all.” 

She smiled to herself, pleased at her own willpower ... but found her eyes glancing back to the tape recorder. 

“Even if it is ... _technically_ my log it was recorded on its ...” Peridot shook her head. “Gyah! No. It would be overly invasive. Besides, it’s not like I even _care_ what’s on it.” 

Peridot found her hands fidgeting. She couldn’t stop thinking back to the portion of Connie’s recording she had heard. 

“E-even if the Connie sounded distressed,” whispered Peridot to herself. “And assigned blame to herself. For something that was obviously my fault.” 

Peridot stared back at the recorder and, within seconds, dove from the couch towards it. However, her feet got tangled in the relaxation tarp, causing her to tumble and land in the floor with a loud thud just as she clumsily clutched the recorder in her hand. It didn’t matter, Peridot hardly felt the impact of falling in the floor. 

She pressed the fast-forward on the recorder, just as she heard the front door swing back open. She looked up to see Garnet standing in the doorway. 

Garnet simply stared with a neutral expression, but Peridot could just feel the aura of smugness emanating from her. The fusion was probably waiting there the entire time, knowing exactly what was about to happen. 

“So you’re a variable--” Garnet started. 

“Don’t. Say. Anything.” Peridot said through gritted teeth. 

“If it makes you feel better, in every other possible future, you didn’t even hold out _this_ long.”  
  
“ _Stop talking!_ ” Peridot screeched. 

Garnet just shook her head and walked back outside. 

Peridot sighed. She pressed play on the recorder. 

And what she heard was Connie’s voice. 

“ _Um ... hi, I don’t really know if you can hear me but um ... I wanted to say I’m sorry you got stabbed_ _...”_

Peridot stared at the recorder, her eyes wide. Even though Peridot was still inexperienced on how to perceive the emotions of others, even she could recognize such a strong display of _concern_. Peridot continued to listen, when she got to point that perplexed her. 

“ _I’m just trying to say ... I’m sorry. And I ... thought it was really nice you said I was cool. I don’t ... I don’t hear that a lot. Steven’s the only person who's ever said anything like that before so, you know, even if you totally hate me now which would be completely understandable, I thought that was a nice thing to say. And, you know, if you don’t hate me, maybe it would be nice if-- well, Steven’s the only friend I’ve ever had, so maybe it would be cool if you and I could be--_ ” 

Peridot swallowed. She didn’t know what to make of this. Peridot done nothing to endear herself to this Connie that she could see. In fact, thinking back, Peridot thought her behavior could be seen as quite _detestable_. 

She thought even further back, all the other unscrupulous things she’d done ... when she first started work involving this planet, when she first tried to harm the Steven without even knowing even what he was, when she reported Steven’s existence to Yellow Diamond, when she interrogated Lapis, when she arrived on Earth with Jasper nearly wiped out all the Crystal Clods she is forced to associate with ... and those were only the bad things she’d done _recently_. 

Peridot heard Connie speak with such genuine emotion, saying she wished to befriend Peridot ... and for the life of her, Peridot couldn’t imagine what _any_ other creature could find _tolerable_ about her, let alone _appealing_. 

She didn’t _understand_. Was this what Garnet meant? Was _that_ what was truly interesting about humans? Not their ability to think and act at a level comparable to Gems, but to simply _feel_ at a level even Gems cannot? Their capacity to find something of value in things where other creatures may not?

To see something of value in ... Gems ... that they might not see themselves? 

The recording continued as she considered this. 

_“What am I even doing?_ ” Connie’s voice said on the recording. “ _You probably don’t even hear this, do you?_ ” 

Peridot stopped the recording. 

“Yes ... I do,” Peridot whispered.

* * *

“Do you think we brought enough books?” said Connie carrying a heavy box up the front porch of the temple. “I dunno. I feel like I should have brought more.” 

Behind her, Steven was, very slowly, carrying a stack of three equally heavy boxes up the temple steps. He seemed to be holding his breath the entire time, yet somehow he managed to speak as he reached the top step. 

“I ... think ... we’re ... good ... Connie,” said Steven, exhausted. 

Connie furrowed her brow in concern. 

“Steven, you don’t have to carry all those boxes at once just to impress me,” she said. 

Steven peaked out from behind the stack of boxes, his eyes gleaming. 

“This ... impresses ... you?” he said. 

“Um ...” Connie blushed. “A-a little? Kinda.” 

Steven looked up at the stack of boxes, then back at Connie. 

“Put ... the other box ... on top.” 

“No way!” she said, laughing. 

“ _Aw, come on_!” he said. 

From out of nowhere, they heard Garnet say, “Settle down, strongman.” 

Connie and Steven saw Garnet leaning against the side of the house, just by the windows. They hadn’t even noticed her there until now. 

“Garnet!” Steven said. 

Steven set the boxes down. Connie heard the floorboards creak under the massive weight. 

“Did Peridot unpoof?” asked Steven. 

Garnet nodded. 

“She did.” Garnet turned towards Connie. “Oh, and Connie?” 

“Y-yes?” 

Garnet smiled. 

“I made sure she got your message.” 

Connie breathed a sigh of relief. 

“So was she ... alright?” asked Connie. 

Garnet nodded her head towards the front door. 

“See for yourself,” she said. 

Connie smiled and opened the door, one hand still clutching her box of books. She was still nervous, but she hoped that her gift would make up for everything. Steven picked up his stack of boxes and followed behind her. 

Peridot was sitting in the floor of the living room, her blanket tangled in her lap. She appeared zoned out, her eyes focused only on the tape recorder in her hands. 

“Peridot?” Connie said softly. 

Peridot’s head snapped up and, within a moment, she was on her feet. She held her recorder behind her back with one hand, as if she were suddenly embarrassed to be seen with it . 

“ _Connie_?!” said Peridot. The tone of her voice was odd ... filled with much more concern than Connie expected. As if Peridot realized this also, she immediately cleared her throat and returned to her normal tone. “Ahem. I mean ... hello.” 

“Peridot!” Steven said as he set the boxes down on the floor and ran up to Peridot. He swung his arms around her, giving her a big hug. Peridot stiffened, clearly unsure how to handle this. “We’re so glad you’re back!” 

“Um, yes,” Peridot said. She gave Steven one uncomfortable pat on the back. After a long pause, Peridot said, “You can, um, cease physical contact now.” 

Steven let go and chuckled. 

“Hehe, sorry,” Steven said. 

Peridot didn’t seem to be listening. Peridot stared at Connie the entire time. Connie couldn’t help but feel tense. Was she mad about what had happened? Connie couldn’t blame Peridot if she was. 

Peridot turned to Steven. 

“Steven,” she said carefully. “If it’s ... acceptable to you, I would like to have a word with Connie ... privately. If that’s acceptable.” 

Steven glanced over at Connie, who nodded. Honestly, Connie didn’t mind if Peridot was going to yell at her. Just knowing she reformed properly made Connie feel better than she felt all day, even with her nerves still shot. Even if they couldn’t be friends ... well, it was good just knowing she was safe after everything that happened. 

“O-kay, don’t mind me,” said Steven. “If either of you need me, I’ll be, um, right on the other side of this door, I guess.” He walked back outside and quietly shut the door behind him. 

Peridot shook her head then gave Connie a nervous smile, pointing her thumb towards the door. 

“That Steven, huh?” Peridot said. 

“Y-yeah,” said Connie. She rocked her feet back and forth, still clutching the box to her body. “He sure is ... something.” 

“Y-yeah, he is,” said Peridot. 

Connie bit her lip awkwardly. Surprisingly, Peridot seemed as uncomfortable as she was. After an uneasy silence, Peridot took a breath. 

“Listen, Connie--” she said. 

“Wait,” said Connie. “Before you say anything, I wanted to say--” 

“I know. You’re going to apologize. I ... may have heard you say that already.” 

Connie’s eyes got wide. 

“What are you-- wait! Did you ... hear what I told you while you were poofed?” 

“In a way, I suppose.” Peridot pulled the tape recorder from behind her back and waggled it. 

Connie put her hand to her mouth, immediately realizing the recorder must have been running while she was freaking out earlier. 

“Oh wow,” said Connie softly. “Oh wow, I probably sounded like a basket case.” 

“What’s a basket?” 

“It’s a-- nevermind.” Connie scratched the top of the box she was holding with a single finger nervously. “Do you ... forgive me?” 

Peridot gave Connie a hard look. 

“That would be unnecessary,” said Peridot, “because there’s nothing for me to forgive you _for_ in the first place.” Peridot looked away. “I was behaving rather ... inappropriately. And jerking a deadly weapon away from a trained soldier was simply foolish no matter the justification.” 

“I’m not really a soldi--” 

Peridot continued speaking as if she hadn’t heard Connie. 

“The point is the fault is mine and mine alone,” Peridot continued, “so inventing reasons to assign fault to yourself would be illogical. And considering all the distress the entire situation caused you, the more appropriate question to ask ...” Peridot suddenly appeared to look rather sheepish. “Is if _you_ can forgive _me?_ ” 

“Peridot ...” This was the last thing Connie had ever expected from the alien who had given her no respect only a few hours before. Steven was right all along; she did have a good heart. Connie smiled. “Peridot, of course I forgive you.” 

Peridot returned the tiniest curvature of a smile. 

“And um ...” Peridot went on. “Since my method of learning about humanity before was rather ... _unsuccessful_ , a more informal approach may be warranted. So ... if you were still inclined, perhaps being ... ‘friends’ as you stated before could be an interesting ... experiment.” Peridot paused, then hastily added. “Strictly for research purposes, of course.” 

Connie chuckled. 

“I’d like that,” said Connie. She gently placed the box she was holding on the floor. “Would you like to see what Steven and I brought you?” 

Peridot raised an eyebrow in confusion. 

“But I already told you you don’t need to apologize. A peace offering is no longer necessary. You don’t have to--” 

“I know I don’t _have_ to. I _want_ to.” 

Peridot didn’t seem to have an answer to that. Her eyes darted from Connie, then back to the box. Finally, she sighed. 

“Very well,” Peridot said. “But only under the condition that this is the last surprise for this solar rotation. There’s been too many already. My construct _literally_ can’t take it.” 

“Heh, deal.” 

Peridot bent over and opened the box, revealing the stacks and stacks of books inside. For a brief moment, Peridot seemed confused. She picked up a single hardback book and opened it. She squinted at the writing on the pages she opened to. 

“Are these ... reports?” said Peridot. 

“Um ... sort of,” said Connie. “They’re called books. They have writing in them.” 

“And humans put text on plant-synthesized sheets rather than on screens? 

“Well ... some are on screens.” Connie’s eyes lit up. “But I _really_ like the printed books. You know, just that feel of having a book in your hands, like you can feel the _weight_ of the story as you’re reading ... and just ... that feeling of having a book in your hands under the covers late at night until even the text fades away and you feel like you’re being transported to another _dimension_!” She could feel herself almost shake with excitement. “It’s _incredible_!” 

Peridot stared at her. Connie cringed as she realized she probably sounded like a huge goober. 

“I mean.” Connie coughed. “T-that’s how some people might feel, anyway. I-I dunno.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “So anyway! Steven only said you liked to read reports, so I wasn’t exactly sure what genre you like ... or even if Homeworld knows what fiction is--” 

“Fix-yon?” 

“Okay, that’s definitely a ‘no,’ but that’s okay! I tried to get as big a variety as I could along with some reference books. W-which is why there’s four boxes ...” Connie pointed to the boxes Steven left in the living room. “I had more but I kinda ... ended up almost bringing all of my books until I spent about an hour narrowing it down to just these ... which was hard because I wanted to bring them all because they’re all so good ...” Connie’s face reddened. “I-I like books.” 

Peridot didn’t say anything. She was still squinting at the first book she opened. 

“Um ... is everything okay, Peridot?” Connie asked. 

Peridot’s head snapped back up. Her face was red. 

“What? No, it’s nothing,” Peridot said. Her eyes were darting back and forth. 

“No really, it’s okay, tell me.”

Peridot took a deep breath. 

“I feel quite embarrassed saying this,” Peridot said. “Especially since this is clearly a thoughtful gift that I am honestly grateful for ...” Peridot shrunk her neck down into her shoulders, as if trying to hide herself. “But ... well, the fact is without my screens I ... um ... I can’t-- 

“I can’t understand your planet’s written language.” Peridot paused then added, “I’m ... I’m sorry.” 

There was silence for a single awkward moment. Peridot glanced back up at Connie, as if she was waiting for Connie to laugh or yell or something. 

Connie did neither. She simply said, “If you like, I could try to teach you.” 

Peridot eyes seemed to grow as wide as saucers. Her mouth hung partially open. 

“I mean, if you want,” added Connie. 

“You would ... be willing to do that?” said Peridot. 

“I mean, I’ve never taught anyone anything before but, you know ...” Connie smiled and shrugged. “What are friends for, you know?” 

Peridot considered this for a moment, then returned a wide smile. 

“Yes. I think I would like that.” 

They smiled at each other, only to be interrupted by a loud “AWWWWWWWWWW!” coming from outside. 

Connie and Peridot both turned nervously to see Steven’s head pressed up against the glass outside the window by the front door. His eyes were huge and filled with tears. 

“ _Steven_!” shouted Connie. 

“YOU BOTH ARE JUST SO _CUTE_! IT’S AWESOME!” Steven shouted from outside the window. 

“ _I am not cute_!” protested Peridot. 

From even farther away, Connie heard a distant Garnet shout “Don’t argue with Steven.” 

“ _SHUT UP, GARNET_!” screamed Peridot as loud as she could. 

But even as she screamed, Connie could see Peridot did so with the hint of a smile on her face ... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed the two-part beginning of I Want to Understand.
> 
> Just to give you an idea of how this will work. This story will be made up of two-part "arcs" much like the one you just read with a mix of comedy and drama (the original plan was to have stand alone episodes as well but the story kind of evolved after that).
> 
> Since this diverges from canon after the Answer, you may notice some differences later on (even if certain characters from episodes after the Answer show up, they may be different from how you know them...), so try to think of this as a kind of Ultimate Marvel universe type continuity where some characters and events may be familiar, but different... 
> 
> I'm blown away by the response I've gotten (as of this writing, I'm up to chapter 6 and nearing the finale). This is by far my most popular story and I'm so glad you all enjoy it. If this is your first time reading, I hope you enjoy what comes next as well. Thank you for reading.


	3. Hearts and Crafts pt. 1

“-- the end,” finished Connie as she closed the book in her lap. She sat in the bathroom floor with her leg crossed next to Steven, who was holding back tears. “So, what did you think?” 

Peridot laid on her back under the organic waste disposal unit (which Steven called the “toilet”), trying to fit the broken ceramic back into place. Primitive Earth tools were strewn around the floor near her: leverage optimizers, bolt tighteners, rhythmatic pulverizers ... though honestly, for the job of fixing the bathroom, Peridot had mostly been ignoring all those things in favor of simply using adhesive and something Steven called “duck tape.” The once-shattered mirror now had a large X made of tape stretching over its surface area and the torn hygiene chamber aqua-shield (or “show-wer curtain,” whatever Connie had called it) was haphazardly held together by adhesive. It was an incredibly monotonous job; if Connie and Steven weren’t there to help with her studies as she worked, Peridot felt like she would have gone crazy or given up by now. 

Peridot peaked up from the floor. 

“Well--” Peridot started, but Steven interrupted. 

“WHY DID CHARLOTTE’S BABIES HAVE TO LEAVE WILBUR TOO?!” Steven shouted, breathing heavily. “HADN’T HE SUFFERED _ENOUGH_?!” 

“You didn’t like the ending?” Connie asked. 

“No, it was beautiful, THAT’S WHY I’M SO SAD!” Steven said, sniffing. “I should have known something like this would happen by the award stickers on the cover! THOSE THINGS ARE WARNING SIGNS FOR TEARS!” 

Connie laughed. 

“That’s-- that’s actually pretty accurate,” she said. Connie reached over and touched the back of Steven’s hand. “It was one of my favorite stories when I was really little ... I’m glad you really liked it.” 

Peridot made note of the odd gesture, more specifically how Steven behaved after. For whatever reason, the act of Connie touching his hand made him immediately blush. He gave Connie a sweet smile. 

“Well, a-any book sounds amazing read by you, Connie,” Steven said. 

Connie gave a lighthearted chuckle in return. 

Peridot’s eyes darted back and forth between them, observing silently. Such bizarre behavior for such a ... _simple_ gesture. It was clearly meant to be affectionate but why such a strong reaction to basically _nothing_? It made no sense. She would need to investigate this later. 

“Oh!” said Connie, drawing her hand back. She acted like she had nearly forgotten Peridot was there. “Peridot! You um ... w-what did you think of the story?” 

“What? Oh.” Peridot shook her head. She shouldn’t have let herself get so distracted by trivial eccentricities. Her current objective was learning to decipher humanity’s written language, first and foremost; she had to remain focused. 

“Well, it was ... interesting,” she said. Peridot turned her attention back to the underside of the toilet, which was missing a large chunk of ceramic Peridot had sitting next to her. “Could one of you hand me the adhesive?” 

Connie poked around through the tools and found the container of adhesive. As she picked it up, she smiled at Peridot. 

“Do you remember the other Earth word for ‘adhesive’?” Connie said. 

Peridot thought for a moment. 

“... ‘glue,’ right?” Peridot said. 

“That’s right!” 

Peridot rolled her eyes. 

“Such a non-descriptive name,” she muttered. 

“Can you spell it?” Connie asked. 

Peridot hesitated. Connie kept smiling while Steven sat, practically shaking with anticipation. She hated to admit it, but she actually felt nervous. After all, she didn’t want either one of them to be disappointed in her, especially after how hard Peridot was trying to understand this backwards language. 

“... ‘G’ ... ‘L’ ... ‘U’ ...” Peridot gave a long pause, then rubbed the Gem on her forehead. “Oh, right, and one of those silent ‘E’s that make no sense.” 

Steven clapped. 

“Yay, you did it!” said Steven. 

“Yep, you got it exactly right,” Connie said pridefully as she threw the adhesive to Peridot. Peridot caught it before it hit the floor, much to her own surprise; she hadn’t expected to accomplish anything remotely athletic without her limb enhancers.

She carefully applied it to toilet and carefully set the missing ceramic piece back into its proper place. It seemed to hold well. 

_Perfect_ , she thought. 

“I have to say,” Connie said, “you’re picking this up really well after only a week.” 

Peridot sat up and grinned with pride. 

“Of course,” Peridot said. “As if there were any doubts a Gem of my intellect could decode your language.” Despite her words, she was internally breathing a sigh of relief that she spelt the word right. Peridot looked at Connie, then added. “Besides, it all seems so simple with such ... capable assistance.” 

Connie tilted her head down, her eyes on the floor as she blushed. 

“That’s really nice of you to say,” Connie said. “But I really am just making this up as I go. It’s not like I’m a teacher or anything.” Connie scratched her finger against the cover of the book in her lap. “Um ... did you have any questions about the story?” 

“Well ... actually, there is one element I found rather puzzling,” Peridot said. “I was under the impression humans were the only creatures capable of speech on this planet. That report seems to indicate all lesser lifeforms are also capable of language development. It’s-- _and what exactly is so funny, Steven?_ ” 

Steven was giggling, but immediately stopped when Peridot snapped at him. 

“Peridot, it’s just a _story_ ,” he said. “Animals can’t talk. None of that actually happened.” 

“So it was a _falsified_ report?” Peridot said, irritated. “If that’s the case, what was the point of reading it?” 

Steven opened his mouth to explain, but Connie put a hand on his shoulder to silence him. She gave Peridot a small smile. 

“Sorry,” Connie said. “I forgot I never really explained what fiction was.” 

There was that word again, Peridot thought. Connie had mentioned it when her lessons began, but Peridot wasn’t quite sure of its meaning. 

“Well,” Connie said, clearly carefully choosing each word, “all books that are factual are called ‘non-fiction.’ Those are encyclopedias and reports and stuff like that. But a lot of books on this planet are about events, places, and people that do not actually exist, that someone made up. Those books are called ‘fiction.’” 

“That _still_ sounds like a falsified report to me,” Peridot said. “What is the significance of even having this ... fiction?” 

“Well ... people write fiction for a lot of reasons. It could be used convey a lesson or a message readers can apply in real life. It could be written just to entertain the people reading it. And some fiction isn’t meant for anything aside from expressing something the writer felt. It’s a form of art.” 

“Hmm ... I see,” Peridot said. “Sorry if I had difficulty grasping the concept. Art in general is not a pursuit Gems of my station tend to engage in.” 

Connie raised an eyebrow. 

“Homeworld doesn’t have art?” Connie asked. 

“Oh no, they do,” said Peridot. “Aesthetics are something the higher classes seem to enjoy busying themselves with. Fancy decorations, murals, Pearl designs, things of that nature.” Peridot gestured to herself. “But for every other Gem, creativity is something to be utilized for more ... practical purposes. After all, skilled engineers such as myself wouldn’t exist without some element of imagination ... but honestly I’ve never seen much value in utilizing it for anything besides work.” 

“You should totally try doing something creative, Peridot,” Steven said, grinning. “It’s a lot of fun!” 

Peridot paused, then shook her head. 

“I’m not sure. I don’t exactly understand this written language enough to engage in writing of any kind, fiction or not.” 

“Well, there are other forms of art you might like,” Connie said. “Like painting--” 

“Yeah, you did pretty good painting during the robot competition with Pearl,” Steven said. 

Peridot rolled her eyes. 

“I was literally only able to splotch paint into a vague shape that barely resembled its intended subject,” she said. “It didn’t look like ANYTHING.” 

“That’s okay,” Steven said. “On Earth we just call that being abstract.” 

“Is ‘abstract’ another word for ‘bad?’” Peridot said. 

Connie snickered. Peridot gave a small smile. She wasn’t exactly sure why, but it made her feel good when she was able to make others laugh, even if it wasn’t intentional. She was never considered particularly amusing or interesting on Homeworld; feeling otherwise on Earth certainly felt nice. 

“I appreciate the suggestions, but no,” Peridot continued. “I don’t think there’d be much value in attempting any artistic--” 

Before Peridot finished, there was a knock on the bathroom door. Peridot felt a tingle ripple through her construct when she heard Amethyst’s voice. 

“Yo Peri!” Amethyst said from behind the door. “You decent?!” 

“AMETHYST?!” shouted Peridot. She panicked, her eyes darting towards the floor to see all her tools scattered around. For Gems sake, it looked like a complete mess. “Uh, just a second!” Peridot quickly shoved all the tools into a single pile, then bit down on her fingers. “Ugh, where to put these?” 

Peridot thought hard for a few seconds, then pointed to Steven. 

“Steven, bubble these primitive Earth tools,” Peridot whispered. 

“Say what?” Steven said. 

“You can bubble Gems, right?” Peridot said. “Bubble this pile of tools and warp it to your harvest chamber!” 

“I told you, I don’t even know what ‘harvest’ actually--” 

“Your ‘imprison without trial’ chamber, whatever you insist on calling it! Please, just bubble it!” Peridot looked around frantically. 

Steven moved over to the pile of tool. Connie simply stared at Peridot. 

“Um, Peridot,” Connie said, “there’s nothing to be nervous about--” 

“ _I’m not nervous!_ I’m just ... behaving naturally!” said Peridot. Beads of sweat ran down the front of her Gem. She glanced at the mirror, but couldn’t get a good look at herself because of all the tape covering it. She turned back to Connie. “Having said that, how does my hair look?” 

“Uh ... pointy?” 

“ _Excellent_!” 

Steven managed to encase the pile of tools into a small pink bubble. He lightly touched it with his fingers them flicked them upwards as the bubble disappeared. Steven’s eyes grew wide. 

“Oh my gosh, how have I _NEVER_ thought of doing this to clean my room?!” Steven shouted. 

Connie chuckled. 

“Wouldn’t that be kind of an abuse of your powers--” she said. 

“You mean an AWESOME abuse of my powers!” said Steven, grinning. 

Peridot meanwhile took a deep breath. She couldn’t just stand around like a fool when Amethyst walked in; that wasn’t ‘cool’ enough! Awkwardly, she put one hand against the toilet and leaned against it, attempting to appear casual. She flashed a big fake smile. 

“C-come in!” said Peridot. 

The door creaked open as Amethyst walked in holding a purple mug. Peridot swallowed and felt herself blush. Not that there was any particular reason _for_ her to blush, of course. It’s not like Peridot noticed the way Amethyst’s lavender hair swung gracefully as she walked, or the way her eyes gleamed when she smiled, or the way her hips were just... _nice_. 

It’s not like Peridot noticed any of that. 

At all. 

“Whoa, cool, bathroom party,” Amethyst said as she looked at all of them. She surveyed the repaired bathroom. “Oh wow, did you do all this, Peri?!” 

Peridot cleared her throat. 

“Ahem, well, I’m not in the habit of bragging, but I feel I fixed up this thinking chamber pretty well.” Peridot smugly patted the toilet she’d just repaired. As soon as she did, the chunk of ceramic she had glued back onto it immediately fell of and clattered onto the tile floor. 

Peridot glanced up at Amethyst, who was covering her mouth to keep from laughing. 

“I intended for that to happen,” Peridot insisted. 

“Uh huh, sure,” Amethyst said, chuckling. She crouched down next to Steven and Connie, gently ruffling Steven’s hair with her free hand. Steven giggled. “So what are you guys doing here?” she said. “Helping Peri fix the bathroom before Pearl yells at her again?” 

Peridot gritted her teeth. 

“No one _intimidated_ me into doing anything,” Peridot said. “She _suggested_ I repair it because it’s destruction _may or may not_ have been entirely my fault, and I agreed.” Peridot folded her arms. “After all, since this place is also my living quarters, it was appropriate.” 

“Okay, sure, Pearl _totally_ didn’t make you do anything,” Amethyst said. She swung her hand forward, held in a fist as if she were holding something. “ _Wa-chu_!” 

“Is there some ... significance to that gesture?” Peridot said. 

“Whipped. It means whipped. You’re whipped. That’s you.” Amethyst cracked her imaginary whip again. “ _Wa-chu_! _Wa-chu_!” 

“ _I’m not whipped!”_ Peridot shouted. 

Amethyst just laughed even louder as she moved closer to Peridot. 

“Aw man, you’re _too_ fun to mess with, Peri,” said Amethyst. She playfully ruffled Peridot’s hair, just as she did with Steven. 

Peridot cheeks got redder, which had _absolutely_ nothing to do with Amethyst making physical contact with her. 

“Actually,” Connie said, “we were just having a discussion about art.” 

Amethyst gave Peridot a sly grin. 

“Ohhh, I didn’t know you liked art, Peri,” said Amethyst. 

Peridot cleared her throat. 

“Well, actually--” Peridot started. 

“Cause that’s pretty cool,” Amethyst said. 

“It... It is?“ Peridot said. 

Amethyst nodded with a big smile on her face. Peridot felt the chest area of her construct tingle for some reason. Her eyes darted from left to right. 

“ _Well actually, I adore art!”_ Peridot blurt out nervously. “Is... That's what I was going to say. Yes. Art. It’s so ... _artistic_. And something I entirely understand. And enjoy. Often.” 

Amethyst snorted with laughter. 

“Ooookay, that’s a way stilted way to say that, Peri,” Amethyst said. 

“Well,” Peridot coughed. “T-that’s simply how I sound when I’m passionate about something.” 

“Pfft, wow,” Amethyst said, after taking a quick sip from her mug. “That’s awesome. Honestly I didn’t think you were the type.” 

“ _Oh yes,_ ” Peridot lied. “I was just going on about art ... things when you walked in. Right, Connie?” 

Peridot locked eyes with Connie. Peridot wasn’t an expert at social cues, but she hoped that Connie could tell from her look alone that Peridot wanted her and Steven to play along. 

Connie paused, then swallowed. 

“Oh ... _yeah_ ,” Connie said. “Peridot was, um, just asking questions about Earth art. She was hoping to learn more about it.” 

“Yes,” Peridot said. “Yes, that is an ambition I honestly have.” 

Steven gave Peridot a curious look. 

“But didn’t you just--” He started, but Connie wordlessly nudged him with her elbow. Mercifully, he seemed to get the message. “I mean, yep! That’s ... yeah!” Steven looked up at Amethyst. “I didn’t know you liked art either, Amethyst.” 

“Well, _yeah_!” said Amethyst. “I mean, I like _good_ art anyway. You know, like most of the stuff Vidalia paints.” 

“Uh, most of what Vidalia paints are pictures of _you_ ,” said Steven. 

“Yeah, like I said, good art.” 

Peridot raised an eyebrow. 

“What’s a ... Vidalia?” Peridot asked. 

“Oh, just this really cool artist friend I have,” said Amethyst. “We go way back. She’s _really_ talented.” 

Peridot’s eye twitched involuntarily. 

“ _Oh_ ,” Peridot said. “Is this ... _friend_ cooler than me?” 

“Oh yeah, totally. No comparison.” 

“ _YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT_!” Peridot screeched, her hands clutched outward. 

Amethyst burst out laughing. 

“I’m just joshing you, Peri. Relax.” She held up her purple mug. “Actually, she made this. It’s neat. At the bottom of the mug, there’s a little picture of me sticking my tongue out.” Amethyst another sip. 

“Oh ... that does sound pretty cute,” Connie said. “Can I see?” 

Amethyst shrugged. 

“Sorry, still half full,” she said. 

“Oh,” Connie said. “So what is that, coffee or--” 

Amethyst looked into the cup and blinked. 

“You know, I dunno,” Amethyst said. “It’s some black stuff I found under the sink.”  She took a long gulp. “Mmm ... _tangy_.” 

For some reason, Connie’s eyes went wide and Steven’s face paled. Peridot didn’t really understand why. Steven and Connie seemed to ingest random matter all the time; she didn’t see how this was any different. 

“What?” Amethyst said when she noticed their expressions. “Did you two want some or--” 

Steven put his hands up. 

“No no, that’s okay!” Steven said. 

“Y-yeah, I’m pretty sure my mom said I’m allergic to ... whatever that is,” Connie said nervously. 

Amethyst simply shrugged and turned her attention back to Peridot. 

“But anyway, yeah, Vidalia is pretty cool,” Amethyst said. She thought for a moment, then her eyes lit up in that amazingly bright way that Peridot in _no way noticed_ or was affected by. “Oh wow, you know what?! I should introduce you two! That’d be awesome!” 

Peridot stiffened. She hadn’t expected that. 

“I ... I don’t know,” said Peridot uneasily. 

“Awww, come on,” said Amethyst. “You like art right?” 

Peridot hesitated. 

“Well, yes, but--” 

“Well, Vidalia’s the best artist I know! Well, technically the only artist I know, but that makes her best by default! And I’m her favorite subject, so that makes her _even more_ the best!” 

“I’m not sure I follow the logistics of your rating system,” said Peridot. 

“And besides, if you really want to learn about Earth, you’re not gonna learn it cooped up in here.” Amethyst waved her hand towards the entire bathroom. 

“Not true!” Peridot nodded over at Connie. “Connie has been doing a _fantastic_ job teaching me.” Peridot turned her nose up and folded her arms. “I’ll have you know I’m now familiar with most of your planet’s text-characters, _and_ just today I learned that lesser animals on your planet _cannot_ talk. I feel I’m making great strides in understanding this planet.” 

Amethyst blinked. 

“You didn’t know animals can’t tal- okay, yeah, you’re going outside right now,” said Amethyst deadpan. “Seriously.” 

Steven spoke up. 

“You know Peridot, this might not be a bad idea,” Steven said. “Vidalia is really nice. You wouldn’t have anything to be nervous about.” 

Amethyst nodded. “Yeah,” she said. “I could introduce you to Vidalia, she could tell you about art, and Connie and Steven can hang out with Onion or something.” 

Connie smiled. At the same time, Steven suddenly grimaced. 

“That actually might be kinda fun,” Connie said. 

“Uh, you know what?” Steven said nervously. “M-maybe this isn’t the best idea after all.” 

“Aw, come on, it’ll be great,” said Amethyst. She turned back to Peridot. “Don’t you think so?” 

Peridot frowned. There was some truth to what Amethyst said. She would certainly have to go into Beach City eventually, but she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t apprehensive about it. She doubted she could truly learn much visiting this ‘Vidalia’ if she was afraid the entire time ... especially when she wasn’t really interested in the subject Vidalia was knowledgeable about. As much as Peridot truly wanted Amethyst’s approval, she wasn’t sure she was prepared for this. 

“I-I think perhaps it might be best--” But Before Peridot had a chance to finish, Amethyst gently grasped Peridot’s hand. 

“Come on, ppppplease?” Amethyst said, suddenly speaking in a much more sincere tone. Peridot felt Amethyst rub the inside of Peridot’s palm with her thumb. “It’d be fun for both of my really cool friends to meet each other.” 

Peridot felt a jolt through her entire construct. She couldn’t stop staring at Amethyst's hand in hers. It felt so ... _warm_. She could feel her face flush. If this was how it felt to have another hold her hand, she could understand why Connie and Steven acted the way they did earlier. 

“So what do you say?” Amethyst said. 

“Uh huh~ Okay~” Peridot heard herself say wistfully. 

Amethyst grinned. Amethyst slowly let go of Peridot’s hand, much to Peridot’s disappointment, and sat her mug by the sink. 

“Awesome!” Amethyst said. She held her hand out towards Steven. “Hey Steven, lemmie borrow your phone, I’ll tell Vidalia we’re coming.” 

“Huh?” Steven said. “Oh yeah, sure ...” He reached in his pocket to pull out a flimsy screen encased in plastic that passed for a communication device on this planet and handed it to Amethyst. 

Amethyst took it and ran excitedly out the bathroom. She lingered in the doorway for just a moment, twisting her head back towards Peridot, her hair gently bobbing as she turned. 

“Don’t keep me waiting too long, ‘kay?” Amethyst said with a wink before she ran down the hallway. 

Peridot stared at the empty doorway. For some reason, she suddenly found it very hard to move. Her face felt extremely hot; she was certain she was blushing. And, completely without conscious effort, she kept tracing her thumb inside her palm, as if she could still feel Amethyst’s hand there ... 

“Uh, Peridot?” said Connie finally. “You okay?” 

Peridot snapped back to reality, in one quick moment, consciously realized the implications of what she had just said. She grabbed her hair nervously. 

“Oh stars, _what did I just agree to_?!” said Peridot. “I-I’m not ready to go out into the city! And I have to talk about art? I don’t even know anything about art from Homeworld, _what am I going to say about the art on this crummy planet_?!” 

“Hey!” Steven said. 

“Um ...” Peridot cleared her throat. “No offense. But what should I do now? I...” Peridot looked down at her gravity connectors and shifted back and forth. “It would be upsetting for me to disappoint Amethyst.” 

Steven scratched his head. 

“You _could_ just tell her the truth,” said Steven. “Tell the truth and be yourself and trust Amethyst will like you for who you are?” 

Peridot frowned, then flicked her eyes over to Connie. 

“Connie, Steven’s not helping, please give me some advice I can _actually_ use.” 

“ _Hey_!” Steven said. 

Connie gave Peridot a reassuring smile. 

“Hey, don’t worry,” Connie said. “We’re coming with you, so we can help. And besides ... well, with art you can’t exactly be _wrong_ interpreting it. If you don’t know what to say, just nod your head a lot and say ‘that’s interesting’ and ... try to say something deep.” 

“Like what?” 

“Um ... well, you could just stare at it for a bit and say ...” Connie put her hand to her chin and appeared to focus. “‘Hm ... it says a lot about the human condition.’” 

Peridot nodded. 

“Yes ... that _does_ sound convincing,” Peridot said. “You’re good at this. Yes, that might actually work.” 

“Peridot,” Steven said gently, “I seriously think it would be better if you just told the truth. It’s _always_ better to just be yourself. What’s so bad about that?” 

Peridot stared at Steven and sighed. 

“You are aware that I was ‘being myself’ when I was still monitoring the progress of a Galactic-Level living weapon that would have annihilated your world simply by _existing_ , right? And when I insulted Pearl for simply being a pearl? And when I said a bunch of insensitive remarks that hurt Amethyst’s feelings?” She glanced over at the cracked mirror barely held together with tape and saw her reflection, her own sad eyes staring back at her. “I’d much rather be something positive ... and I don’t think ‘myself’ is a very positive thing to be.” 

Connie put her hand to her mouth. 

“Peridot ...” Connie said sadly. 

“Peridot,” Steven said softly, “that’s not who you are anymore.” 

Peridot frowned. 

“I wish I was as certain of that as you are,” she said. 

“But--” 

“Steven,” Peridot said. “I appreciate the sentiment, but ... I simply want to make Amethyst happy.” 

Peridot took a breath. She tried her best to put the conflicting feelings in her head aside. As of late, she didn’t care much for thinking about her own inner workings. It drudged up too many volatile emotions, too many memories she’d rather forget ... 

Somehow, she managed to curve her mouth into something resembling a smile. 

“Besides,” Peridot went on, “what Amethyst said was correct. As useful as learning this planet’s written language and reading these fake reports is, I will never fully understand humans unless I interact with them. So seeing this Vidalia may have some value for that reason alone.” 

Connie got up and put her hand gently on Peridot’s shoulder. 

“Don’t forget,” Connie said, “we’re right here for you all the way.” 

Steven stood as well and gave Peridot a friendly pat on the back. 

“Yeah ...” said Steven. “I mean ... you really are a good Gem, Peridot. I really mean that. And whatever you decide to do, we’ll help you.” 

Peridot saw both of the human children next to her in the mirror and smiled. She didn’t deserve such kindness ... but she was thankful for it. More than she knew how to put into words. 

“I ... appreciate that,” Peridot said. She sighed. “I suppose the best course of action would just be to go with Amethyst and simply improvise.” 

“Yeah! Making it up as you go is the best plan!” Steven said. 

Connie chuckled at that. 

“Heh ... well, perhaps with your assistance it will not be so bad,” Peridot said. “Perhaps it might even be ... enjoyable.” 

Peridot’s eyes eyes were drawn to the purple mug Amethyst had left on the sink. She picked it up. 

“Hm ...” Peridot said. “I wonder if the image of Amethyst in this container the Vidalia made is any good ...” 

She glanced in the mug, still half full of a black sludgy liquid. Peridot held it up to her nose and sniffed. It had no scent. 

Connie’s eyes widened. 

“Y-you’re not gonna drink that, are you?” Connie asked. 

“Well ...” Peridot said, “it doesn’t look any less appealing than some of the disgusting materials I’ve seen Steven shove in his mouth.” 

“I’m ... I’m standing right here, Peridot,” said Steven sheepishly. 

“As I was saying,” continued Peridot as if Steven had said nothing, “Amethyst ingested it and seemed fine. It would be interesting to try at least. I’ve never ingested anything before and--” 

“...this is a bad idea, Peridot,” Connie said. 

“Yeah,” Steven said. “Some the stuff Amethyst eats is a bit ... strong. I mean, I saw her eat a water heater once.” 

“... wait,” Connie said, “why would she--” 

“Cause Pearl told her not to.” 

“Oh okay, that makes sense,” Connie said, nodding. 

Peridot scrunched her nose up. 

“Well, I can assure you that anything Amethyst can ingest, I’m sure I can handle as well,” Peridot said. “And I am curious about this image, so--” 

“Well, you could just--” Connie started, but Peridot already had already put the drink to her lips. It slid down her throat and into her construct. She had never ingested anything before, so the sensation was certainly unusual. 

The taste _was_ tangy and she felt it tingle her taste receptors. 

Connie and Steven looked mortified. 

“I-I was gonna say you could just dump it out and see the picture that way, Peridot,” Connie said. 

Peridot blinked, then suddenly stared down at the floor, embarrassed. 

“I- _I knew that_!” Peridot insisted. “I realize that! I-I simply wanted to ingest this as an experiment! Obviously!” 

Peridot briefly wondered if being on this planet was making her measurably less intelligent because the option honestly never entered her mind. 

She shrugged, her taste receptors now slightly stinging. 

“In any event, I’m fine,” Peridot said. “I’m not sure why you two were so worried. I feel completely--”

* * *

“ _BLERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG_!” retched Peridot from behind the bathroom door as Connie and Steven stood awkwardly in the hallway outside of it. 

Connie bit her lip and shouted at the door. 

“You sure you don’t need me to hold your hair back while you’re--” 

“THAT’S UNNECESSARY!” shouted Peridot from inside the bathroom. “DON’T COME IN!” Connie heard another gag that made her cringe. She felt terrible that Peridot had gotten sick from drinking that liquid-like drink. 

“I-it’s okay, Peridot,” Steven said to the door. Beads of sweat clung to his face. Connie could tell he was trying his best to be reassuring. “I promise this only happens when you eat something really really bad. Or if you get sick or something. It just... it only happens sometimes.”  
  
“This is just a THING that happens to humans?!” shouted Peridot with a cough. “YOUR EXISTENCE MUST BE _HORRIBLE_!” 

“It’s-it’s not, really--”  
  
“ _I AM ENCOUNTERING EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY_!” 

Down the hall, Connie heard Amethyst shout. 

“Hey, what’s taking you guys so long?” Amethyst shouted distantly. She was speaking casually. She clearly could not hear what Peridot was doing. 

“Uh ...” Connie started. 

Behind the bathroom door, Peridot spoke again, her voice much quieter. 

“D-Don’t tell her ...” she said. 

Connie cleared her throat, then shouted down the hall towards Amethyst. 

“Sorry!” Connie yelled. “Peridot is just--” 

There was another loud gag from inside the bathroom. 

“--um ... freshening up,” Connie finished. 

There was a pause, then Amethyst spoke again. 

“Okay, well, tell her to hurry up,” said Amethyst goodnaturedly. “I already called Vidalia and I’m starting to get bored texting people pretending to be Steven.” 

“Wait, _what_?!” said Steven. “Nooooooo, _not again_!” 

Steven ran down the hall while Amethyst’s laughter echoed off the walls. 

Connie was alone in front of the bathroom. She no longer heard any sounds coming from Peridot. She gently knocked on the door. 

“Peridot, are you okay?” Connie said in a low voice. 

There was a toilet flush, but no reply. 

“Peridot, do you want me to come in?” Connie said. There was no reply. “Okay, I’m coming in.” 

Connie slowly opened the door and peaked inside. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Peridot. Aside from her face looking a noticeably darker green than normal, she looked fine. She held the purple mug and was looking into it. 

“Uh ... everything okay, Peridot?” Connie said, stepping inside. 

Peridot didn’t reply at first, but then, without warning, she suddenly gave a tiny chuckle. 

Connie gave Peridot a puzzled look. Peridot’s only reply was pointing at the inside of the mug. Connie leaned over and saw at the bottom of the cup was a tiny image of a cartoonish Amethyst, her tongue stuck out with exaggerated proportions compared to the rest of her body. 

“You know what?” Peridot said, her voice weak and slightly shaky. “This image actually _is_ somewhat amusing ...” 

“Heh, yeah, it is,” Connie said, glad to see Peridot felt alright enough to joke around. She gave a tiny smirk. “You know what else?” 

“Hm?” 

“It says a lot about the human condition.” 

For the first time since Connie had met Peridot, Peridot actually snorted as she gave a hearty laugh. 

Peridot’s hot breath hit Connie’s face. Connie sniffed the air and winced. 

“Um ... Peridot?” Connie said. 

“Yes?” 

“Would you um ...” Connie looked down at the floor. “Would you like me to show you how mouthwash works really quick?” 

Peridot stared for a moment, then breathed into her own hand and sniffed. She flinched. 

“Yes, I would like that very much, thank you,” said Peridot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally going to be a standalone episode, but quickly expanded into a new multi-parter. For some reason, I have a feeling this might be a thing that'll happen more often than not.
> 
> Just a heads up, I have a feeling the upcoming Stevenbomb may render this fic canon-divergent, so I'll mark it as such if we run into that, but I just want you all to know I totally intend to continue the fic from this current perspective regardless of what new events might drop. Just wanted to let you guys know :)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it, I'll see you guys for the next part.


	4. Hearts and Crafts pt. 2

“Dear ... Lars ... that was ... _not_ me ... texting you ...” said Steven slowly he “texted” on his communication device next to Peridot.

Peridot walked along the beach with Steven and Connie next to her. They all followed Amethyst, who was a few feet ahead of them. Peridot honestly wanted to walk closer to Amethyst, but was too hesitant to do it. Not that she was _afraid_ of approaching Amethyst, it was just ... well, how would she know what to talk about if she did?

Peridot wanted to ask Connie for advice, but Connie's attention was fixated on Steven’s communication screen as he typed.

“Amethyst ... got my phone again ...” continued Steven. “Please ignore request ... to send pictures of butts ... sorry, buddy ... have a ... nice day ... love, Steven aaaaaaaaaaaand smile emoji.” He glanced over to Connie. “How’d that sound?”

“I think that’s good, Steven,” Connie said, giggling. She covered her mouth. “Sorry, it's just pretty cute hearing you say ‘emoji.’”

Steven pressed a button on his communicator.

“What’s an emoji?” Peridot asked.

“Oh, they’re like these funny pictures you can send to people when you text them!” Steven said. “See, there’s a bunch of ones with smiley faces ... annnnnd hearts ... and there’s one with a cute little doggie’s head and--”

“And exactly what practical purpose do they serve for communication?”

Steven thought hard for a moment, then shrugged. Peridot was perplexed. She wondered if “things existing with no clear purpose” was the predominant theme of Earth culture because that's the impression she had so far.

“There’s a birthday cake one too,” Steven said.

“ _Wonderful_ ,” Peridot said.

Steven’s communicator vibrated and chimed.

“Oh hey, Lars wrote back,” Steven said, his eyes glued to the screen. “He saiiiiid ... ‘How’d you get my number in the first place? You stalking me or something?! At least when you’re bugging me at work I’m getting PAID for it’ and then there’s like ten exclamation points.” Steven laughed heartily and slid the device into his pocket. “Oooh, boy ... classic Lars.”

Connie smiled, then turned towards Peridot.

“You uh ... you feeling okay now, Peridot?” she asked quietly.

“I no longer feel ill, if that’s what you mean,” Peridot whispered.

Connie nodded her head towards Amethyst.

“You should try to talk to Amethyst,” Connie said. “I’m sure she’d want you to.”

Peridot grimaced.

“I’m not so sure ...” said Peridot.

“Aw, come on,” said Steven cheerfully. “What do you have to be afraid of?”

Peridot thought for a moment.

“Rejection. Humiliation. Abandonment. Being harvested. The inevitability of my own death.” Despite herself, Peridot glanced at the vast body of water surrounding the beach. “... the ocean.”

“Wait, the ocean?” said Connie.

_I know who’s under it,_ thought Peridot. She said nothing, not wanting to even _think_ about that now. Steven’s eyes went wide, almost certainly realizing why she said that, but did not press further.

“Well ... okay, those are all pretty reasonable things to be afraid of,” Steven said. “But do you think Amethyst would do anything mean enough to make you feel any of those things?”

“I ... suppose not,” Peridot said.

“So you have nothing to be afraid of!” Steven said. Connie nodded in agreement.

“... there is a surprising amount of logic in that statement.” Peridot looked ahead at Amethyst. She sighed. “I’m blaming you in advance for every bad thing that’s about to happen.”

“Okay!” Steven said, smiling and giving a thumbs up.

Peridot walked slightly faster to catch up to Amethyst. As she moved ahead, she heard Connie whisper, “Good luck, Peridot.”

That made her smile. It almost made her forget starting a conversation was the most frightening thing in the universe. Almost.

She trotted next to Amethyst. Amethyst glanced over and grinned. Peridot blushed.

“H-hey,” said Peridot, raising her hand and waggling her fingers.

_Eloquent opening, you clod,_ thought Peridot.

But Amethyst just chuckled and waggled her fingers back.

“Hey,” said Amethyst. “I was wondering if you were going to come talk to me.”

“Oh, y-you were?” Peridot said.

“Hehe, yeah,” Amethyst said. She nodded her head backwards. “You know ... to give those two some _alone_ time?”

“Eh?” Peridot looked back. Connie and Steven had drifted further behind Amethyst and Peridot. Steven showed Connie something on his communicator that made her laugh.

Amethyst grinned at Peridot. Peridot simply narrowed her eyes, puzzled.

“Is there some ... purpose to giving them time alone?” Peridot asked.

Amethyst giggled.

“Come on, Peri, I’m sure you get it,” she said, nudging Peridot with her elbow. “You don’t want to be a third wheel, right?”

“What do round movement appendages have to do with anything?”

Amethyst laughed even harder.

“Oh _man_ ,” Amethyst said, catching her breath. “That’s what I like best about you, Peri.” Amethyst lightly smacked Peridot on the back. “You don’t even have to _try_ to be hilarious.”

Amethyst’s hand lingered on Peridot’s back as they walked. It felt warm. The sensation made Peridot’s entire physical form tingle once again.

“Yes. Well ...” Peridot said. “It’s um ... it’s quite enjoyable to hear you say that.”

Amethyst gave Peridot a warm smile that made it hard for Peridot to maintain eye contact without her face flushing even more.

_Well, this is going adequately,_ thought Peridot. _As long as she doesn’t bring up art, I think I’ll be--_

“So you excited to see Vidalia’s earth art, Peri?” said Amethyst.

_WHY DOES THIS PLANET HATE ME SO MUCH?!_ thought Peridot as beads of sweat ran down her forehead.

“Oh, um,” Peridot stammered. “I’m ... sure it will be quite ... _interesting_.”

“Oh yeah, Vidalia is pretty great,” said Amethyst. “Even the stuff that’s not pictures of me. She even did that really cool portrait of Rose at the temple.”

Peridot didn’t notice there even was a portrait at the temple, but she nodded as if she understood.

“But yeah she does landscapes and nature-y stuff too.” Amethyst gave a sly grin. “Is that the kind of art you like?”

“Oh. Um. Well ...” Peridot laughed nervously. “I-I shouldn’t go into that just yet. After all, I don’t want to get exhausted of artistic analysis before even meeting this friend of yours ...”

“Oh, well that’s cool,” Amethyst said, stopping in her tracks and pointing forward. “‘Cause we just got here.”

Peridot stopped and noticed Amethyst was right. They were now in front of a green human dwelling, not unlike the beach house (aside from the fact this dwelling was not attached to an ancient Gem temple, so it was less interesting by default). They stood in front of a large open “garage,” or whatever the right Earth word was, with large red tarps covering the entrance.

“See? Wasn’t that long of a walk,” Amethyst said. “And now we can get Vidalia and talk about art as much as you want.” Amethyst chuckled. “Excited?”

“I’m ... positively _ecstatic_ ,” Peridot said, forcing a smile. Amethyst grinned back.

_Relax Peridot, this is not too problematic,_ she thought. _Simply follow the advice Connie gave you and you should be able to improvise your way through this._

Connie and Steven walked up next to Amethyst and Peridot.

“So this is Vidalia’s house,” Connie said. “It looks really nice.”

Steven took a step forward.

“I guess I’ll go knock on the door and--” But before Steven could finish, Amethyst put her hands to the side of her mouth and shouted so suddenly that Peridot, Connie, and Steven all flinched.

“HEY, OLD BAG!” Amethyst shouted. “GET OUT HERE!”

From inside the garage, a voice rang out, equally as loud as Amethyst.

“OLD BAG?!” said the voice Peridot assumed was Vidalia. “YOU’RE THE ONE OVER A THOUSAND YEARS OLD, STUPID!”

“YEAH, BUT YOU’RE THE ONE WHO **LOOKS** OVER A THOUSAND YEARS OLD!” Amethyst yelled back.

Peridot heard laughter from inside the garage, before the voice said, “JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE TO CHANGE MY SHIRT, OKAY?!”

“FORGET CHANGING! JUST GO NATURAL, V!” Amethyst shouted.

“YOU KNOW I DON’T DO THAT ANYMORE, JERK!”

Connie leaned over to Steven.

“A-are they always like this?” she asked.

“Yyyyep,” Steven said.

As soon as Steven said that, another voice, this one coming from down the street, screamed out.

“HEY, WHAT’S WITH ALL THE YELLING?!” said the male, slightly crackly voice.

Peridot followed the source of the noise. Another human dwelling across the street had a tall, skinny human standing outside of it. He must have been some form of soldier because he clearly had battle damage; there were large holes in the bottom of his ears.

Steven beamed when he saw the human.

“Is that Lars?” Steven said. He grinned and waved. “HIIIIIII LARS!”

“STEVEN?!” shouted back Lars. He smacked his palm over his face. “OH GREAT, YOU KNOW WHERE I **LIVE** NOW TOO?!”

“ACTUALLY I KNEW THAT ALREADY!”

“ _AWESOME_ , THAT’S _TOTALLY_ NOT CREEPY AT ALL!”

“HOW IS YOUR DAY?!” Steven shouted.

“FINE BEFORE ALL THE SCREAMING WOKE ME UP,” Lars shouted back. “IT IS 3:30 IN THE AFTERNOON AND DECENT PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO LAY OUT OF WORK!”

Peridot cleared her throat, then raised her voice as high as possible.

“STEVEN?!” she shouted.

Steven and Connie both covered their ears.

“YES, PERIDOT?!” Steven shouted.

“WHO IS THAT?!”

“HE’S A FRIEND OF MINE!” Steven said.

“NO I’M NOT!” Lars said. “AND WHY IS THAT WEIRD GREEN THING YELLING NOW TOO?!”

“EVERYONE ELSE WAS!” said Peridot. “I THOUGHT I WAS SUPPOSED TO!”

“ACTUALLY IT’S KIND OF RUDE TO YELL A LOT,” said Steven.

“THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL YELLING?!”

“ **I DON’T KNOW**!”

Peridot did not turn around to check, but she thought she could hear muffled laughter from Amethyst.

“STEVEN,” Lars said, “YOU’RE A--”

“Lars ...” said Vidalia from behind Peridot.

Peridot twisted around to see Vidalia. Her appearance was quite different than what Peridot expected. For one thing, her face had a wrinkle or two in it for some reason; Peridot wondered if her physical form had malfunctioned in some way to cause this. Her garments were standard: a teal jacket, a white shirt, and blue “genes.” Her hair, however, caught Peridot’s attention; it was put up in a large round shape. It was not as stylish as Peridot’s hair, of course, but it was far and away the first human hairstyle she’d seen that wasn’t _completely_ ridiculous.

Vidalia stared at Lars from across the street, a half-smile on her face. Even though she did not yell, her voice clearly carried far enough for the skinny human to hear.

“Y-yes, Ms. Vidalia, ma’am?” Lars said just loud enough for Peridot to hear.

“Where should you be right now?” Vidalia said goodnaturedly.

Lars sighed. “At work ...” he admitted.

“Uh huh. So where do you think you should probably go now?”

Lars groaned even louder. “Work?” he said.

Vidalia closed her eyes and nodded.

“Smart boy,” she said.

Lars lingered outside his dwelling for another moment, grumbled something Peridot couldn’t hear, then went inside.

“... BYE LARS!” yelled Steven with a wave.

Amethyst chuckled.

“Wow, way to lay down the hammer, V,” Amethyst said to Vidalia.

“Heh, well, he’s one of Sour Cream’s friends. Gotta look out for the kids, you know?” Vidalia said.

Vidalia’s eyes flicked over to Peridot, who flinched and averted her eyes.

“So ... you must be Peridot,” Vidalia said.

“Um ...” was all Peridot could manage. Vidalia grinned anyway.

Vidalia turned to Amethyst and the others.

“Why don’t you all come in?” she said.

* * *

Connie was immediately stunned as soon as she walked in Vidalia’s garage.

The garage itself was quite a mess. There were tiny multicolored stains dotted across the floor at random. There were shelves filled with both paint and cleaning supplies. No, what was special were the paintings everywhere. There were so many of them leaned along the walls of the garage, about six out in the open, but she noticed a stack of canvases in the corner that was too large for her to count quickly. All the pieces Connie could see were of Amethyst in various poses.

And they were _good_ , nearly photorealistic even. It was really amazing to see such incredible art in person.

“Wow ...” Connie said.

Steven stood next to her, smiling.

“Pretty cool, huh?” Steven said.

Connie nodded.

On her other side, Peridot stared intently at all of the paintings in shocked silence. Amethyst was next to her, glancing over at her with a wide grin on her face.

Vidalia was in front of them, her arms folded and a warm expression on her face.

“So ...” Vidalia said, waving her hand towards the whole garage. “This is where the magic happens.”

Amethyst leaned over to Peridot.

“And here I thought a _different_ part of the house was where the magic happened, right?” Amethyst said, playfully nudging Peridot with her elbow. “Eh, get it?”

“Wha?” said Peridot, who paused then added, “Oh. Yes. A joke. Hahahaha.” She awkwardly laughed in a way that made it obvious she had absolutely no idea what the joke was. Amethyst was amused regardless.

Connie walked over to one of the portraits of Amethyst’s face, simply showing with a huge grin. It was practically a mirror image of her.

“These are amazing, Ms. Vidalia!” said Connie. “I can’t believe there’s an artist so talented near us!"

Vidalia crouched down to Connie’s level.

“Well, aren’t you just the sweetest thing to say that?” Vidalia said. “What’s your name?”

Steven smacked his forehead.

“Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I didn’t introduce you, _I’m so sorry_!” Steven said. He waved his hands towards Connie dramatically. “Vidalia, this is my best friend Connie.”

Connie nodded politely.

“It’s really nice to meet you, ma’am,” Connie said.

“I can’t believe I forgot to do that,” said Steven, rubbing his temple.

Connie giggled.

“It’s fine, Steven. It’s no big deal,” she said.

“I-it is to me,” said Steven, his cheeks turning faintly red.

Vidalia looked from Connie, then back to Steven, then back Connie, before her eyes got bright.

“Oh wow, Steven,” said Vidalia, “Amethyst didn’t mention you had a little girlfriend!”

Connie’s eyes suddenly went wide as she blushed. Her eyes darted over to Steven, who was frozen still, his cheeks even redder than before.

Vidalia put a hand on Steven’s shoulder.

“You really did grow up to be a little charmer like your dad, huh?” she said, beaming.

Connie grimaced nervously. Steven was clearly embarrassed. She had to say something.

“I-I-I think you-- perhaps you have the wrong impression, I’m not-- _we’re_ not--” Connie started.

Peridot raised an eyebrow.

“I’m sorry, what’s a girlfriend?” Peridot asked.

“You know ...” Amethyst said, then bumped the sides of her fists together.

“Oh,” Peridot said, then shook her head. “Wait, _what_?”

To Connie’s horror, Steven looked mortified. If this kept up, she was afraid he’d die of a heart attack (or embarrassment, whichever came first).

Vidalia furrowed her brow, apparently noticing the discomfort on both Connie and Steven’s faces.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to embarrass you two or anything,” Vidalia said.

“ _Embarrass_?” Steven said nervously. “I-I’m not--”

Before Connie could say the same thing, Vidalia put her hand up.

“Why don’t I be a good host and get you some water or something?” said Vidalia. “So you can chill out a bit?”

“I um ... I guess that’s okay ...” Connie said, trying her best not to sound flustered and failing spectacularly.

Steven managed to nod in agreement.

Vidalia gestured for Connie and Steven to follow her. She led them to a door in the back of the garage, which opened into the living room. It was a typical living room: round coffee table, television, potted plants, a nice little lovesea--

A nice _platonic_ loveseat. Platonic and _nothing else_. Yep. That’s the kind of seat it was, thought Connie as her face felt hotter.

Vidalia disappeared into the kitchen as Connie and Steven sat down. Connie glanced at Steven, only to see him staring back at her. As soon as they made eye contact, they both looked away. For some reason, they sat farther away from each other than they would normally.

Not that Connie _had_ to sit close to Steven or anything. _It’s not like it’s a big deal_ , she thought.

It wasn’t like feeling close to Steven was the warmest feeling in the world and _not_ being close to him was the most empty feeling in the world.

Connie shifted in the seat uncomfortably. She opened her mouth to speak when Vidalia returned, placing two bottles of water on the table.

“Here you go,” Vidalia said. “Only the finest at casa de Vidalia.”

“T-thank you,” said Connie, taking the bottle of water and quickly taking a swig.

“Y-yeah,” was all Steven managed.

Vidalia gave a half-smile.

“Why don’t you two just ... hang out here for a bit? Make yourselves at home. Onion and Sour Cream will probably be out for a while, you can just take a breather for as long as you need.”

“O-okay,” Connie said.

Vidalia turned back towards the door to garage. As she walked away she said, “Just yell if you need anything, alright?”

“Okay ...” Connie repeated.

Vidalia walked out of the living room into the garage.

Connie and Steven were alone.

In the living room.

On a loveseat.

Together.

Connie suddenly felt way more self-conscious than normal. She gulped.

Steven was the first to speak.

“So uh ...” Steven said, smiling nervously. “P-pretty crazy what Vidalia said about you being my girlfriend, huh?”

“Y-yeah!” Connie said, forcing a smile back. She waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. “Pfft! Crazy stuff.”

“Yeah! Totally crazy.”

“Like a boy and a girl can’t just be friends or something.”

“I know, right?!” Steven chuckled. “It's just silly.”

“Exactly,” Connie said.

“Yeah.”

“Yep.”

“M-hm,” Steven said, nodding.

An extremely uncomfortable silence filled the room. Connie grimaced. Her heart was pounding in her chest. She knew Steven’s was too; even if neither of them said _why_ , they both knew.

“Well ...” Connie said, “I mean ... y-you don’t think it’s _that_ crazy or anything, do you?”

Steven shook his head and waved his hands wildly.

“What?! No no!” Steven insisted. “I ... I didn’t mean like ‘crazy’ crazy, it’s ... not ... uh, maybe it’s not any kind of crazy.”

“Y-yeah, um ... maybe it isn’t,” Connie said.

Connie’s hands were fidgeting. At the same time, Steven was rubbing his shoulder awkwardly.

Steven cleared his throat.

“Wanna ... actually talk about it?” Steven said.

Without skipping a beat, Connie said, “Yes.”

* * *

“So, what do you think?” Amethyst said as Peridot stared at all the images of Amethyst.

Peridot was surprised by the extremely high quality of the pictures. Not that she had expected them to be _terrible_ , but it was shocking to see such impressively recreated images of Amethyst. It was as if she was surrounded by Amethysts.

Surrounded by Amethysts that all act like the Amethyst she knows ...

And are all proficient shapeshifters ...

“Oookay so apparently you _really_ like them because you’re totally blushing right now,” said Amethyst.

“ _I AM NOT_!” Peridot said, not acknowledging that Amethyst was completely correct.

Amethyst grinned.

“It’s okay, Peri!” she said with a laugh. “I really like them too. It’s ...” She touched her shoulder, her smile fading. “It’s kinda flattering when someone actually thinks you’re interesting enough to turn into art, you know?”

Peridot stared at Amethyst. She was not used to seeing Amethyst act serious about _anything;_ the only exception was when Peridot hurt Amethyst’s feelings by calling her defective, something Peridot still remembered and felt disgusted with herself for doing. But this was different. She didn’t seem sad, just ... genuine.

Oddly enough, this is one of the few things Amethyst had done around Peridot that did not make her feel nervous. Peridot was surprised by how easily her next words came.

“Well ... I wouldn’t know that feeling myself,” Peridot said, “but if there was a Gem I would consider worthy of being... represented in such a way, it would be you.”

Amethyst’s eyes glinted before she gave Peridot a small smile appeared different than her normal smiles, one that almost possessed a “glowing” quality to it that Peridot was unable to fully articulate.

“That’s ... a really sweet thing to say, Peridot,” Amethyst said. “I appreciate that.”

Peridot frowned.

“What is ... ‘sweet?’” Peridot said.

Amethyst gently placed her hand on Peridot’s shoulder.

“ _You_ are,” Amethyst said.

Peridot’s eyes shot towards Amethyst’s hand. Normally physical contact made Peridot frightfully nervous and uncomfortable but, like the hand holding earlier in the day, this felt quite ... enjoyable. It made her entire physical form feel tingly. It was nice.

And the moment was immediately disrupted by Vidalia coming back into the garage.

“Okay,” Vidalia said as she walked in. “I’m giving the kids a few minutes alone so they can chill or make out or whatever.”

Amethyst let go of Peridot’s shoulder and smirked at Vidalia. Peridot found herself immediately disappointed at her hand’s absence.

“Hey Vidalia, guess what?” Amethyst said. “Peri really likes your art!”

Vidalia brightened up.

“Oh, really?!” Vidalia said. “Well, that’s nice to hear.”

“Um ... yes,” Peridot said. “You seem quite adept at creating images of Amethyst.”

“Heh, well, thanks,” said Vidalia. “Actually, I think I have a couple of paintings around here that aren’t of Amethyst. Would you like to see them?”

“Um. Well...” Peridot started.

Amethyst glanced over at Peridot and, strangely, she had a concerned expression her face.

“Um, you know, if you don’t want to, it’s fine,” Amethyst said softly. “I mean, Vidalia’s paintings are great, _really_ great, but if you don’t feel like it--”

Peridot was confused. What was this shift all of a sudden? Did Peridot let her worriness show to much? Did she appear uninterested? Peridot didn’t mean to. She really did want to understand art, if only to make Amethyst happy. If she had let it show she was apprehensive even the slightest bit, she would simply need to try harder.

“No, it’s fine,” Peridot insisted as she shook her head. “I’m quite ... interested to see them.”

Vidalia walked over to a stack of physical image slabs in the corner.

“Let’s see ...” she mutted as she flipped through them. Her eyes fell on one which made her chuckle. “Oh _wow_ , I forgot this was still here,” she said. “Okay, take a look at this one...”

Vidalia held up one of the images towards Peridot. It was a random splatting of colors against the entire surface of the picture. There did not appear to be any form to it; it seemed as if paint had been physically hurled against it. Peridot had no idea what the subject of the painting was even supposed to be.

“Soooo?” Vidalia said, eagerly anticipating Peridot’s reaction. Peridot wasn’t sure she even had one. Much more worrying to Peridot was Amethyst. She wasn’t laughing or joking like normal. Her eyes were just lingering on Peridot, her brow furrowed.

Peridot tried not to worry and failed.

“Um.” Peridot scratched the side of her cheek. She wished Connie and Steven were still here to help Peridot fabricate her way through this conversation. She closed her eyes, trying to remember the line Connie had given her if she didn’t know what to say.

“Well ...” Peridot said as she remembered. “It ... says a lot about the human condition ...”

Vidalia glanced down at the painting, surprised.

“Oh, you think so?” she said. She looked back up at Peridot. “What do you think it says?”

“... pardon?” Peridot said.

“What does it say about the human condition?”

Peridot then realized she had absolutely no plan for addressing any follow-up questions about her opinions of art and that she actually had no idea what “human condition” meant.

“Well ...” Peridot started. “It, um ... the use of colors obviously means ...” She coughed. “That is to say, obviously it’s like ... it _represents--_ ”

_Oh stars, oh stars, I have no clue what I’m talking_ about _, everyone is staring at me,_ _I look like an imbecile,_ thought Peridot as Vidalia just stood there. There was a smile on her face for some reason, but Peridot knew it was probably just amused by what a clod she was.

Amethyst’s eyes were wide. Peridot could only imagine how “uncool” Amethyst thought she was right now. That must have been it, why Amethyst had been so unlike herself. Amethyst must have realized how bad of an act Peridot had been putting up, that she was nothing but a liar, that she barely understood how to function since she got to this planet, let alone have anything interesting to say. She was never going to want to be around Peridot again.

The remainder of Peridots existence was going to be lonely and horrible, she could feel herself shake all over, her mind felt as if it was racing with a million horrible thoughts all at once, this was so embarrassing--

“Peridot, what’s wrong?” Amethyst said suddenly.

“N-nothing,” Peridot said. She heard her own voice crack.

Vidalia’s smile faded as she stared at Peridot in shock.

“Are you ... are you crying?” Vidalia said, her voice filled with concern.

Peridot touched her face and realized her vision spheres were filled with tears. She hadn’t even noticed until that moment.

Amethyst was staring at her, her face a paler shade of purple than normal and her mouth open.

_Oh stars, she’s gonna say it, she’s gonna ask what is_ wrong _with me and be disgusted by what I’m a defect I am_ , said Peridot, feeling more tears flow.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Vidalia said, putting the painting down. “It’s not a big deal, everything’s fine--”

“I know everything’s fine!” Peridot said. Her voice cracked even more, but she refused to acknowledge it. “I’m just ... am overcome with emotion at all the things that painting says about human conditioner!” She sniffed. “Or condition, whatever ...”

“Look, if you need a minute to--”

“ _I said I’m fine_!” Peridot shouted, painfully aware this was likely making sound even more like a freak. “Obviously something in the air on this stupid planet is just making me _leak_!”

Vidalia said nothing. Amethyst was looking away awkwardly. Peridot felt a lump in her throat.

_She can’t even_ look _at me,_ Peridot thought. I--

“Um, Vidalia,” Amethyst said calmly. “Could you maybe give us a minute?”

Vidalia glanced back at Peridot, then nodded.

“Yes,” Vidalia said. “Yeah, of course. I’ll just ... I’ll go get some air.”

Vidalia walked out of the front of the garage, disappearing past the tarp, leaving Peridot alone with Amethyst.

Amethyst reached out for Peridot. Her face had softened. Peridot didn’t know what to make of her expression. Was it pity? If it was, that made Peridot feel worse than if it was just anger, so much so she started feeling ill again.

“Peridot ...” she said.

Peridot recoiled. She didn’t want to hear what came next, because it couldn’t possibly be good.

“I said I’m all right! Why don’t you believe me?!” Peridot said, wiping tears from her eyes. “I’m not lying! I know all about art! And I was just about to show how much I knew before this ... this obvious _defect_ with my physical form took--”

“Peridot, I don’t _care_ about any of that,” Amethyst said, raising her voice. “I care about _you_.”

Peridot opened her mouth, stunned.

“You ...” Peridot sniffed. “You do?”

Amethyst nodded.

Peridot wanted to ask “why?” but a sob welled up instead.

Amethyst didn’t say anything. She simply stretched her arms out, her eyes fixed on Peridot’s.

Peridot stared at Amethyst and, forgetting every reservation she had about physical contact, slowly walked into her arms. Peridot felt them wrap around her as she buried her face in Amethyst’s chest. Amethyst’s hair brushed against her cheek.

“It’s cool, dude,” Amethyst said, patting Peridot’s back. “Just ... just take all the time you need.”

Peridot managed to nod and lingered there, waiting for when her voice would decide to start working again and for the infuriating tears to stop ...

* * *

“So have you um ...” said Steven as he fidgeted in the loveseat. “Have you ever _thought_ about it?”

Connie gulped. Her heart pounded like a jackhammer.

“You mean like ... being boyfriend-girlfriend?” she said.

Steven nodded. Connie nervously rubbed her shoulder with one hand.

“... have _you_?” Connie said.

Steven looked away, his cheeks red.

“I-I asked you first,” Steven said.

Connie sighed. She couldn’t believe she was getting so flustered over this, but she couldn’t help it.

“Why don’t we both say at the same time?” Connie said.

“O-okay,” Steven said.

“On the count of three, okay?” she said. “One ...”

“W-wait, is that like ... ‘one, two, three, go’ or ‘one, two, go?’”

“One, two, three, go.”

“Okay ...” Steven said. “T-that-- you saying ‘one, two, three’ just now didn’t count as _the_ count, right?”

“No.”

“Okay. Just wondering.”

Connie took a deep breath.

“Okay ...” she said.

There was a long pause.

“... are you going to start the count?” Steven said.

“Yes, I’m going to,” Connie said.

“Cause if you want me to do it, I could--”

“No, I’m good ...”

Connie took more deep breaths. After each one, she told herself she’d start counting, but didn’t. She felt butterflies in her stomach. She was shaking with anticipation.

Steven tilted his head down bashfully.

“Maybe we should sleep on it or--”

“ _I think about it all the time, okay_?!” blurted out Connie.

Steven’s eyes became huge.

“Like all the time!” Connie said as her chest tightened. Her entire body felt fiery hot. “ _Literally_ all the time! I mean, I _really_ think about it whenever you do something cute, but everything you _do_ is cute so it ends up being ALL the time!”

“I’m cute all the time?” Steven said hesitantly.

“Are you _joking_? Yes, you are!”

“Like ... right now? I’m being cute right now?”

“ _VERY_! You're the most adorable person who’s ever existed! You're the best person I've ever met to the point I'm amazed you're even REAL, like this is all some sappy dream and I'm _terrified_ one day I'm going to wake up from it! All I've ever wanted to do since the day we met is be near you and _wow_ , I just realized I said _waaaay_ more than I meant to!”

Connie hyperventilated. She closed her eyes and tried to calm down. At least the tightness in her chest was gone.

She felt something warm touch her hand. When she opened her eyes, Connie saw Steven’s hand on top of hers, rested on the loveseat. He stared at her.

“I ... think the same way about you,” Steven said.

“You’re serious?” Connie said.

“Of course, Connie! How could I _not_ think that way about you?!” said Steven. “You’re like the coolest girl in the world and you’re so nice and you’re awesome and I can tell you anything and ...” Steven smiled. “You make me feel like I’m special.”

Connie smiled back and twisted her hand around to grasp his.

“Of course you’re special. You’re _Steven_.”

The pounding in Connie’s chest disappeared. She felt a calmness she had never known before. It was the feeling of being home, feeling safe, feeling like she belonged only amplified. She felt like she was exactly where she was supposed to be. She exhaled.

“O-kay, that ... that had been building up for a while,” Connie said with a laugh.

“Tell me about it, heh,” Steven said. “I can’t believe we both felt like that and never said anything. I mean, I _can_ believe it, but ...” He tightened his grip on Connie’s hand. “I was so afraid saying anything would make things weird and that you wouldn’t want to be around me anymore.”

“I know! I thought the exact same thing! It’s ... it’s pretty silly, now that I think about it. Especially since we almost kissed that one time.”

Steven’s face flushed.

“What?! Oh ... oh right,” Steven said. “When I healed your eyes.”

“Yeah ...” Connie leaned closer to Steven. “Did you-- back then would you have minded if we had, you know ... done that?”

Steven looked down.

“N-no ...” he said. “I was actually kinda sad we didn’t, to be honest.”

“It made you sad, really?”

Steven nodded bashfully.

Connie scooted closer to him until they were touching.

“Well ...” Connie said, “t-there’s a pretty obvious way to fix that.”

Steven’s face became completely red again.

“I-- um ... I uh ...” Steven said. “I’ve ... I have to tell you, I’ve never really kissed anyone before so I might not be, you know... good at it.”

“I haven’t either,” Connie said. “It would be nice to try, I think.”

Connie and Steven looked at one another, their faces only inches apart. Connie blushed just as much as Steven.

“Okay,” Steven said, “so should we try _this_ on the count of three or--”

Connie leaned in and kissed Steven on the lips. She shut her eyes. She felt her chest flutter. His lips were surprisingly soft. She felt Steven’s hand gently brush her shoulder. Everything about it felt just felt _right_.

Connie could have stayed that way forever if she hadn’t heard the front door swing open seconds later.

“Hey,” Vidalia said as she walked in. “Are you kids doing--”

Connie and Steven both broke away from the kiss, scooting away from each other as far as possible. They both stared at Vidalia.

“--all right?” she finished slowly.

“Yes! Hi! Yep! We are!” Connie managed to say.

“Yeeeeaah, I’d say so,” Vidalia said, the corner of her mouth curving upward.

Steven opened his mouth but appeared incapable of speech. Connie tilted her head down. She didn’t want Steven to be embarrassed further. After all, the kiss was entirely _her_ fault; it was only fair she take the blame.

“Listen, Ms. Vidalia, I--” Connie started.

“You know,” Vidalia interrupted, “it’s kinda funny how, when you get older, your eyesight starts to go. Like _really_ starts to go.” She smiled. “So much so that I’m not even sure I saw anything. Get it?”

Connie blinked then, getting the picture, simply nodded.

“But--” Steven started.

Vidalia shook her head with a laugh.

“Just make sure that this is the only thing I ‘don’t see,’ alright?” said Vidalia.

Steven was astonished. After a moment of silence, he simply said, “Okay.”

Vidalia walked towards the stairs.

“Oh, and stay out of the garage for a bit,” Vidalia said, suddenly serious. “Amethyst and Peridot wanted some space. We can check on them in a bit.”

“Okay. Yes. Thank you, Ms. Vidalia,” said Connie.

Connie could hear another chuckle from Vidalia as she climbed up the stairs out of view.

Steven and Connie’s eyes met and both of them giggled like little kids.

“Well ... that was something,” Connie said. Her cheeks hurt from how much she was smiling.

“Was it a ‘good’ something?” asked Steven shyly.

Connie touched his hand.

“The best,” she said.

* * *

At some point, Peridot realized she had stopped crying and was simply lingering with her head buried in Amethyst’s chest.

“I’m sorry,” Peridot finally said.

“For what?” Amethyst said. “For crying?”

“Yes. And other things. For being like this.” Peridot kept her head buried, too afraid to even show her face. “For fabricating so much. For being _defective_.”

Amethyst gently pushed Peridot back, forcing Peridot to look up. Amethyst smiled weakly.

“Well ...” She laughed awkwardly. “Well, apparently _I’m_ defective too, so it’s not so bad.”

Peridot glared at Amethyst, the reminder of her own hurtful words to Amethyst at the prime Kindergarten cutting through her like a knife.

Amethyst frowned.

“Sorry,” said Amethyst. “Bad joke.”

“Yes, it was. It was not amusing when I said it then, it isn’t amusing now.” Peridot was quiet for a moment, then whispered, “You were never the one who was defective ...”

Amethyst said nothing back. Peridot sighed.

“I do not actually know anything about art,” admitted Peridot. “I fabricated the entire thing. And then I couldn’t even fake my way through it properly.”

Amethyst shrunk her head down into her shoulders as if she was embarrassed.

“Yeeeeeeeah,” said Amethyst. “I uh ... I kinda knew that already.”

Peridot blinked.

“What?” said Peridot.

Amethyst grimaced.

“You’re um ... you’re not exactly subtle when you’re lying. Like ... kinda not subtle at all. It was completely obvious.”

“... oh,” said Peridot. “That’s ... a fair assessment. But, I don’t understand. If you knew that, then why--”

Amethyst turned her head away, brushing her bangs from her eyes.

“I just kinda thought it would be, you know ... kind of _hilarious_ to see you pretend you _were_ and get kinda flustered. I mean ... at first. But then, you know, you started saying all that nice stuff and it stopped feeling funny, and I tried to say you didn’t have to do this because it’s like I just suddenly _knew_ what was gonna happen and--” She turned back to Peridot. “I swear, I didn’t mean for you to get upset or anything like that, and I _really_ didn’t mean for you to feel bad about yourself. I just thought it would be fun at first, and-- and I didn’t even think about how stressful that might be or how you might feel like garbage because I’m ...” Amethyst tilted her head down and spoke in a low voice. “Because I’m kind of a jerk sometimes. A lot of the time. All the time, really.” She paused. “ _I’m_ the one who’s sorry, Peridot.”

Peridot did not know what to say.

“It’s okay if you’re mad,” whispered Amethyst. “I would be too.”

The odd thing was Peridot wasn’t quite sure _how_ to feel. Part of her _wanted_ to be angry, part of her almost wanted to laugh at the realization she had panicked for absolutely no reason, part of her wanted to cry again ...

And a very, very small part of Peridot missed the days when she didn’t feel anything and never had to worry about conflicting emotions she didn’t understand assaulting her. She felt guilty feeling that, even a little, because she hated how she used to be ... but in that moment, it seemed so much _easier_ back then.

But then, when Peridot saw how sorry Amethyst was, she remembered how Amethyst had forgiven her for hurting her feelings before, even when she didn’t deserve it. Peridot understood perfectly how awful it was to hurt someone and not mean to.

“It’s okay,” said Peridot.

“It’s ... what?” said Amethyst. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

Peridot almost laughed.

“I’m not certain if I’ve _ever_ been ‘all right,’” Peridot said. “But I am not angry. I ... forgive you, if that’s what you mean. I know you did not mean to hurt me. You are not the type to hurt purposefully.”

Amethyst’s face contorted at this. She covered her face with one hand, laughing bitterly.

“What?” Peridot said.

“No, it’s just--” Amethyst shook her head and put her hand down. “I mean, it’s really sweet you think that, but you’re so _completely_ wrong. I mean, I’ve done a lot of really bad stuff.” She sounded choked up, but only for a brief moment. “I mean, I’ve done REALLY bad stuff and it’s always to people I _like_ , just like today, except sometimes it’s even _worse_. It’s like ... I would do anything to _actually_ not care about all the crappy things I’ve done to people instead of just _acting_ like I don’t, cause maybe then I wouldn’t feel like garbage so much. It--” Amethyst sighed. “I don’t even know what I’m saying. This sounds really stupid, doesn’t it?”

“That’s not stupid at all!” Peridot said, surprised at the urgency in her voice when she spoke. “I think along similar lines sometimes too. But ...” Peridot frowned. “I want you to know ... I admire that you _do_ care.”

Amethyst let out a single snort of laughter.

“If you admire me, you _really_ are in bad shape,” Amethyst said.

“No, I’m serious,” said Peridot. “I can’t claim to understand much about this planet or emotions or ... much of anything, but one thing I do know is that lacking emotion is _not_ enjoyable. If I had felt them with more intensity before coming to this planet, perhaps ...”

Peridot immediately thought back to a very specific incident. She remembered--

_\-- she remembered the Lazuli staring at her from across the table in the ship’s interrogation room, her expression empty, lost,_ broken _. Peridot recognized all this, recognized the hurt ... and told herself she didn’t_ care _. Why should she? The Lazuli was just another part of this horrible job that would soon be over and behind her. Once she moved to another assignment, Peridot reassured herself she would forget all of this, forget the Lazuli’s likely-fabricated sob story, forget all the lies she told to get the information she needed..._

Peridot’s shook her head, snapping out of the traumatic memory, and her voice got quiet.

“Perhaps I would have less to regret,” Peridot said.

Amethyst hesitated.

“Peridot ...” said Amethyst. “You ... you don’t like yourself either, do you?”

Peridot curved her mouth upwards into something resembling a smile.

“Objectively there isn’t much to like,” Peridot said.

Amethyst was not amused.

“Peridot ... I know how you feel,” Amethyst said. “Like, I’m not gonna sit here and tell you I’m an expert on liking yourself because then I’d be an even bigger fake than I already am but ... you’re not a bad guy anymore. And, for what it’s worth, even if you don’t like yourself ... I want you to know that _I_ like you. And you never had to pretend to be anything for me to think that.” She grinned. “I already liked you.”

Peridot felt a warm feeling in her Gem that extended to every unit of her construct. It meant a lot of hear. It didn’t erase how Peridot felt about herself but still ... it appeared to help.

“I’m ... still unaware what would inspire you to think that,” Peridot said.

Amethyst rolled her eyes.

“Come on, what _isn’t_ there to like?” Amethyst threw her hands out, gesturing towards Peridot. “You’re _Peri_! You’re funny! You do funny things! And it’s like everything is new and amazing to you! And you throw yourself into everything you do, just like Vidalia! And it’s just cute seeing you do, you know, _Peridot_ stuff. You know, like when you put on Steven’s banana pajamas or how you practice singing with your tape recorder when you think everyone’s asleep.”

Peridot’s face became pale.

“ _You know about tha_ \--” Peridot coughed. “I- I mean, that was ... I was simply experimenting with vocal pitch and--”

Amethyst giggled.

“See what I mean? You’re awesome!” said Amethyst. “I wish I could be that cool.”

Peridot opened her mouth, astonished.

“What are you _talking_ about?” Peridot said. “You’re the one who is humorous and well-adapted to this planet. You make it appear as if you don’t even have to _try_ to converse with anyone, you simply _do_ it. It’s ...” Peridot glanced down at the ground. “So essentially the situation is we both think of ourselves as inferior, but think the other is incredible. Is that accurate?”

“Pretty blunt way to put it, but yeah,” said Amethyst.

“... I’ve just realized how abnormal that is.”

“Yeah, we’re both pretty dumb.”

“Agreed.”

Amethyst chuckled, her face lit up. Peridot grinned back without even meaning to.

“... thank you, Amethyst,” said Peridot. “I’ll ... try not to think of myself as defective. And I’m sorry for lying.”

Amethyst reached out and gripped Peridot’s hand, just like she had in the bathroom that morning. And Peridot felt her entire body feel tingly all over again.

“I’m sorry too,” said Amethyst softly.

Peridot mumbled something that might have been words, but she was too focused on Amethyst’s hand to even process what she was trying to say.

“Um ...” Amethyst said, “I’m not making you nervous again, am I?”

“Yes,” Peridot said in a dreamy tone. “Extremely.”

“Youuuu want me to let go?” Amethyst said.

Peridot shook her head, still not capable of speech. Amethyst snorted.

“Peri ... you’re a trip,” Amethyst said.

* * *

“The rest was largely uneventful,” Peridot said into her tape recorder in the bathroom late the next night. She leaned against the wall opposite of the taped-up mirror, her own reflection the only audience. “Vidalia eventually came back with Connie and Steven, who both seemed rather unnecessarily happy for some reason. Connie said she’d explain later but never did. However, considering how ... _giddy_ they appeared, I have a hypothesis or two.

“The human Vidalia seemed rather remorseful of the entire affair, saying she wished our visit hadn’t been a complete disaster and vowed to make it up to me, quite unnecessarily I might add. I only asked, for my own curiosity, the intended meaning of the image she had shown me. She looked embarrassed and eventually told me there _wasn’t_ an intended meaning. It was a piece she had made largely by accident, that she only kept around because it reminded her of someone.”

Peridot chuckled and rolled her eyes.

“You can imagine my embarrassment that I had panicked over nothing. But I don’t blame Vidalia. She seemed decent enough ... for a human. Even though I ended up learning nothing about art, meeting her was worth the trip.

“And though it wasn’t my intention, I did learn something else.” She twirled the recorder in her hand. “It’s ... difficult to phrase precisely. I feel that ... perhaps I _am_ defective, perhaps these illogical, infuriating emotions do indicate a malfunction, but ... I no longer consider that a terrible outcome. I think these defects are simply ... what I am now. And if Amethyst and the others find me acceptable as a result, maybe I can’t even be considered defective at all. Or maybe _everyone_ is defective. Or perhaps on this planet, defective doesn’t exist? I--”

Peridot groaned and stopped the recorder.

“Nothing I’m saying makes _any_ sense,” Peridot whispered. “This log is terrible. I should have just practiced singing the pink ‘leemo-zeen’ song again--”

Before Peridot could get another word out, there were three quick thuds against the bathroom door. Peridot straightened up. That was Amethyst’s knock.

“C-coming!” Peridot said.

She quickly opened the door, but Amethyst wasn’t there. She heard hurried footsteps down the hall, but when she turned to look, Amethyst was already gone.

Peridot was extremely confused until she saw a large, flat rectangular gift wrapped in brown paper sitting on the floor. Peridot’s eyes darted in both directions before she dragged it into the bathroom.

There were two small notes on the package. Thanks to Connie’s lessons, Peridot was able to read both of them.

The first one was short, and Peridot could easily tell it was from Amethyst:

_I got V to do a thing, hope you like it._

The message was followed by what Steven had called a “heart emoji.” Peridot grinned the second she saw it.

The second note was longer and took a bit more effort to decode, but eventually Peridot realized it read:

_Hey Peridot._

_Sorry it was kind of a disaster when you came over. I felt bad and wanted to make it up to you. Amethyst actually had a good idea, for once (haha, just kidding). She said you mentioned how you didn’t know what it felt like to be the subject of art. Figured I could fix that._

_Come back over sometime and it’ll be better. I promise. We can get drunk and I can tell you embarrassing stories about Amethyst or something. Take care._

_-Vidalia_

Peridot had no clue what “drunk” meant, but she appreciated it as a friendly gesture.

Peridot carefully tore the brown paper and saw it was a stunning painting of her own face. The image of Peridot had her eyes closed, smiling from cheek to cheek. At the bottom, written in green letters, were the words “Welcome to Earth.”

Peridot stared at the painting for a long time and it took her even longer to realize that her own smile started to match the one in the image; it was as if seeing it turned it into a reality.

Peridot had no idea what this painting said about the human condition ... but she did know seeing it made her happy.

And that was good enough for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on I Want to Understand: Pearl! And Dr. Maheswaran!


	5. Defusing Conflict pt. 1

“Connie, are you alright?”

Connie looked up from her breakfast to see her mother, who was sitting next to Connie at the dinner table with a furrowed brow.

Connie shook her head. She must have been more lost in thought than she realized. She had to snap out of this.

Connie smiled as wide as she could.

“Oh ... yeah! Of course, mom,” Connie said. “Everything’s great!”

“Oh.” Mom frowned. “I was just worried since you’ve been picking at your eggs for almost twenty minutes.”

“Oh,” Connie said, twisting the fork in her hand. “I’m just still tired, I guess. That’s--” Connie sighed and placed the fork down. “Okay ... t-there is something.”

Mom straightened up in her chair and rested her hands in her lap. Her full attention was on Connie.

“Alright,” Mom said.

“I’m--” Connie bit her lip. “Okay, I’m not quite sure how to say this ...”

“Connie,” Mom said softly, “we talked about this. You can tell me anything.”

“I know, mom,” said Connie. “I know.”

The incident at the hospital was still fresh in Connie’s mind and, to be completely fair, her mom had made good on her promise; she’d been much more lenient and understanding since that day, much easier to talk to. And Connie had fulfilled her end of the promise as well. She had been letting her mother know what was going on, even telling her about her new friendship with Peridot. And her mom hadn’t been opposed to it at all; in fact, she told Connie she was _proud_ she was helping her new friend learn to read. Everything with her mom had been going _great._ Connie even found herself almost looking forward to letting her mom know what was going on because she trusted her mom would handle it well ...

Except for this recent development ...

Connie took a deep breath. She couldn’t just hide this from her mom because there would be no point. She’d find out soon enough. Besides, Connie didn’t _want_ to lie to her anymore, not after seeing how hard she was trying.

“Okay ...” Connie said. “Please just ... promise me you won’t be mad.”

Mom frowned.

“Well, I can’t promise that until I know what’s going on,” her mom said. Her voice filled with concern. “You’re not in some kind of danger, are--”

“No no, it’s nothing like that,” Connie said. “It’s just ...” Connie closed her eyes.

Mom reached across the table and touched Connie’s hand.

“Connie ... please,” Mom said. “Just tell me.”

Feeling her mom’s touch somehow sent Connie over the edge. She felt her eyes sting as she blurted it out.

“ _I kissed Steven the other day!”_ Connie yelled.

Her mom’s eyes went wide.

“ _And I really liked it!”_ Connie said. “And I guess we’re a couple now and I’m like ... _super_ happy and terrified at the same time because I was just-- I was so afraid to tell you and dad and that you’d never want me to see him again and--”

Her mom put her hand to her mouth.

“You ... had your first kiss?” Mom said.

“ _Yes_!” Connie said. “And--”

Mom’s eyes filled with tears.

“You had your first kiss ... and you actually told me about it?” Mom said, her voice cracking. “Even though you were afraid to?”

Connie stopped, stunned by her mom’s reaction.

“Well ... _yeah_ ,” Connie whispered. “You’re my mom.”

Even though there were tears in her eyes, her mom smiled brightly. She slid from her chair, knelt down in front of Connie, and wrapped her arms around her. Connie was in a state of shock as her mother’s long dark hair brushed against her face.

 _Okay, this is different than what I expected_ , Connie thought.

Mom patted Connie’s back as they embraced.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve such an amazing daughter,” her mother whispered.

The words tugged at Connie’s heart, so much so that she wasn’t sure what to say. After her mother held her for a long time, Connie finally managed a nervous laugh.

“So um ... I guess this means I’m not in trouble then?” Connie said.

“Actually you’re grounded for a month,” Mom said.  
  
“ _WHAT_?!”

Her mom pulled back and looked at Connie, wiping the tears from her eyes. She was grinning.

“I’m _joking_ , Connie,” Mom said.

“Oh,” Connie said. Her heart was pounding like a jackhammer. “That wasn’t funny,” she said, trying not to smile and failing.

Mom laughed.

“Connie, it was _just_ a kiss,” Mom said. “You’re almost thirteen. You’re becoming a young woman. You don’t have to be afraid to tell me these things.” She paused. “You only have to be afraid to tell _your father_ these things.”

Connie froze.

“Oh gosh,” she muttered, clutching her forehead. “I hadn’t even _thought_ about that ...”

Mom closed her eyes and smiled.

“You let me worry about telling your father,” she said. “That sound good?”

“That sounds wonderful, yes.” Connie breathed a sigh of relief. “Wow ... I can’t believe you’re being so cool about this.”

Mom fixed her gaze directly in Connie’s eyes.

“Connie, all I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy,” Mom said. “I’m just glad you trusted me enough to tell me. I’m glad you don’t feel like you have to hide things anymore.”

The last sentence felt like it stabbed Connie’s heart. Her smile dropped for an instant, but she forced herself to perk up again.

“Y-yeah!” Connie said, hoping her voice didn’t sound too shaky.

Thankfully, Mom didn’t notice. She smiled and stood up.

“Thank you for sharing that with me, Connie,” Mom said. “Are you done with your breakfast?”

“Yeah,” said Connie, hardly listening.

Mom took Connie’s plate and walked to the sink.

“You know, maybe we could invite Steven over for dinner after I tell your father,” said Mom as she turned on the garbage disposal. She raised her voice so Connie could hear over the grinding noise. “As an apology for our last outing. Maybe this time would be a lot more relaxing for everyone.”

Connie stared straight ahead, her thoughts a thousand miles away. Her mom’s words echoed in her head.

_I’m glad you don’t feel like you have to hide things anymore._

“... yeah,” Connie whispered.

* * *

“Okay ...” Peridot said after Connie had finished her story. Peridot sat on Steven’s bed, the book she had been reading closed in her lap. “Perhaps this is simply because my understanding of Earth life is limited, but everything about that story sounded like _positive_ news. What are you so worried about?”

Connie and Steven sat on the edge of the bed. Connie’s eyes were focused downward. Steven stared at Connie wearing a nervous frown.

“It’s ... complicated,” Connie said. She cleared her throat. “Why don’t you finish your book first and I’ll tell you. You were almost done anyway.”

“Wha- oh! Yes!” Peridot lifted the tiny book from her lap and flipped to the last page. It showed a picture of the character Concerned Clementine in bed surrounded by the other Crying Breakfast Friends, who were all sobbing. Peridot read the words out loud slowly and carefully, just as Connie had instructed.

“‘They all sat around and cried with Concerned Clementine, sorry they had not considered her feelings,’” read Peridot aloud. “‘Sad Waffle asked if she could ever forgive them.’

“‘Concerned Clementine said no and told them to go away. Everyone cried harder and everyone went to bed sad. The end.’”

Peridot closed the book.

“... I should be proud I read that on my own, but I’m mostly just perplexed what the point of that was,” Peridot said.

Steven glanced at Peridot.

“I uh ... I _think_ it’s supposed to mean that sometimes things just don’t work out,” Steven said.

“And this is literature intended to educate recently-emerged Earth life with limited knowledge of the universe?”

“On Earth they’re called children, but yeah.”

Peridot held the book in front of her, wincing.

“I see,” Peridot said. “Then I have to assume the author of this book _despised_ children and engineered this as a psychological torture device.”

“That’s a ... pretty strong critique, but yeah, the licensed books of Crying Breakfast Friends are pretty hit or miss.”

“Clearly the one responsible for this should have been hit _with_ something, rather than missed.” Peridot tossed the book on the bed with a flick of her hand, as if she were discarding trash (which she was, in a way).

“Well, at least their video game is pretty good though.” Steven turned back to Connie and gently touched her hand resting on the bed. “So come on, what’s up?”

Peridot focused her attention on Connie. She had been uncharacteristically quiet the entire time. Usually Peridot could at least get a chuckle or two out of her, but she had just seemed troubled during her and Steven’s entire exchange.

Connie sighed and put her hand over her face.

“Well, it’s just that ...” Connie said. “Well, my mom’s trying. She’s trying _really_ hard and she’s doing great. And she seemed so happy I’ve been telling her the truth about stuff. And I really have been telling her the truth about everything and she’s been handling it great!” She lowered her head and scratched at Steven’s bedding. “I just feel really guilty because ... well ... there’s one _tiny_ thing I never told her about.”

“Well ... what’s that?” asked Steven.

Connie raised her head and looked Steven in the eyes.

“Stevonnie,” she said.

Steven’s eyes grew huge.

“... oooooh,” Steven said, blushing. “ _Right_.”

Peridot raised an eyebrow.

“Who’s Stevonnie?” Peridot asked.

Connie and Steven caught eyes with one another, then looked back at Peridot. Connie’s face turned faintly red.

“It’s ... Steven and me fused together,” Connie said.

Peridot went pale as her eyes darted from Steven to Connie.

“You two ... fused?” Peridot said slowly.

“Uh huh ...” Connie said, bashfully.

“You and Steven? You fused together?”

Connie nodded slowly, unwilling to look Peridot in the eye.

Peridot was silent for just a moment ... before she started to snicker.

“Pffft, _haha_!” Peridot exclaimed. “Oh, I get it! _Wow_ , you actually had me fooled for a second!” Her eyes began to water. “I mean, the idea of organic life being capable of fusion is so impossible, it’s just--” Peridot clutched her torso as she laughed, rolling on the bed.

She finally managed to force her eyes back open as she laughed. But her laughter faded when she saw Connie and Steven’s expressions were unchanged. Steven scratched his shoulder awkwardly and Connie’s eyes were still downcast.

Peridot stopped laughing. She slowly sat up.

“You’re not joking,” Peridot said as she wiped the liquid from her vision spheres. She stared straight at them. “You’re serious?”

Steven nodded.

“B-b-but that’s _impossible_!” Peridot stammered. She clutched her hair with one hand. “Organic life can’t fuse!” She pointed at Steven. “Your organic half should make it so you can’t even--” She grunted. “Gah, _how are you even able to do that_?”

Steven shrugged.

“I’m ... awesome?” he said hesitantly.

“Gyah!” Peridot said, her mind racing with a thousand possible reasons why fusion of organic life defied the laws of physics. “It’s like this planet delights in violating all rules that exist!” She grimaced and waggled her fingers, suddenly feeling unclean. “Even if that is SOMEHOW physically possible, the idea of fusion itself is just so--”

Connie glanced up at Peridot. When she spoke, her voice sounded quiet, almost hurt.

“So ... what?” Connie whispered.

Peridot felt a lump in her throat.

“Um. Well...” said Peridot.

Steven gently gripped Connie’s hand as he fixed his eyes on Peridot. He didn’t look angry so much as he appeared to be cautiously waiting for whatever Peridot was about to say.

And honestly, Peridot wasn’t sure what she was about to say herself. Peridot thought of a thousand things she _could_ have said in the heat of the moment to describe fusion: Lewd. Illogical. Pointless. Inappropriate. Indecent. _Unnatural_.

That’s what she had been taught on Homeworld, anyway. Those were the things drilled into her since emergence. Fusion was a desperation tactic, nothing more; doing so in any other situation simply was an admission the Gem was desperate, weak, not able to deal with life on their own ... and who wanted to admit feeling like that?

Except ... this wasn’t just any Gems fusing. This was _Connie_ and _Steven_. If there were two creatures Peridot thought were the exact opposite of weak and desperate, it would be them. Connie, the first human friend she ever had, the one who had helped her learn about Earth, who liked Peridot even when she didn’t like herself. And Steven ... the only one who had always believed in her, had never given up on her, even when he had every reason to ...

Peridot couldn’t think of a fusion between the two as being a desperate act. It almost seemed ... special.

Peridot realized Connie and Steven were still waiting for her to finish her sentence.

“Oh, um ... it’s just so ... unexpected!” Peridot said, with a nervous laugh. She scratched the back of her neck. “That’s ... that’s all I was going to say.”

Steven smiled at Peridot, apparently satisfied. Connie sighed, clearly relieved.

Peridot cleared her throat.

“So, um, anyway,” Peridot said, “Why not simply tell this ‘mom’ that you’ve fused? What’s stopping you? I didn’t think humans had any opinions on fusion.”

Connie rested her hands in her lap and shifted uncomfortably on the bed.

“Well, that’s kind of the problem,” Connie said. “I’m afraid my mom won’t really understand what fusion even is. She’s been open-minded about a lot of stuff now, but before she was very strict, so I have no idea how she’ll react. And ...” Connie’s cheeks turned red. “To be perfectly honest, it doesn’t help that to the average person, fusion might sound like ... well, something else.”

Peridot tilted her head.

“What do you mean?” Peridot said.

Connie’s face got redder. Steven went pale and looked breathless.

“Just ...” Connie said slowly. “Something different. That huma-- _adults_ can do on Earth ... sometimes.”

Peridot blinked.

“... I don’t follow,” Peridot said.

For whatever reason, Connie seemed to have trouble making eye contact with Peridot or Steven.

“It’s um--” Connie started, before Steven interrupted.

“ _Hey, would--_ ” Steven’s voice cracked and he cleared his throat. “Hey, would you look at that, I have to ... go over here now! I’m gonna do that!”

Steven got up from the bed and stood in the corner of his room, doing nothing but staring at a wall out of earshot from Connie and Peridot.

“Is he alright?” Peridot said.

“Um ... yeah,” Connie said. “It’s okay. So--” Connie’s eyes darted back and forth before she chuckled nervously. “You know, I’m _extremely_ uncomfortable talking about this. Why don’t we talk about it another time? At another _later_ time?”

Peridot thought for a moment, then nodded.

“Very well,” Peridot said. “I certainly don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Connie exhaled.

“Yes,” Connie said. “Good.” Connie turned towards Steven and raised her voice. “It’s okay, Steven, you can come back now.”

“Is it safe?” Steven said, still in the corner.

“Yes, it’s safe,” Connie said with a laugh.

Steven walked back over to the bed and sat back down. He was blushing. Connie patted his back, which seemed to make him less tense.

Peridot remained perplexed at what exactly _that_ was about.

 _Earthlings are strange sometimes_ , Peridot thought.

Connie traced her finger along the bed sheets.

“I wish I just knew how to tell her,” Connie said.

“Hm ...” Peridot said, rubbing her chin. “Why not ask the permafusion? This seems like her department anyway.”

Steven gave a huge smile and put his hands up.

“Of course! It’s so obvious!” Steven said. “If there’s anyone who’d could help, it’d be Garnet!” He immediately got back off the bed. “I’m gonna go ask Pearl where she is, we’ll get this taken care of in no time.”

Connie closed her eyes and smiled.

“Thanks, honey,” Connie said.

Steven got a ridiculously huge grin and giggled before he ran down the stairs.

Peridot’s eyes darted back to Connie, who was now staring at her. Peridot frowned.

“Is everything alright?” Peridot said.

“Hm?” Connie said. She nodded. “Oh yeah, I’m fine. Just nervous about everything, I guess. I was just ...” Connie rubbed her left elbow with her right hand, fidgeting. She sighed. “You don’t ... think differently of me or Steven now, do you?”

“What?!” Peridot said, taken aback.

“I mean, I’m mostly nervous about telling my mom and everything but ... I dunno, I was also a little scared to tell you too.” Connie’s eyes fell down. “I mean, Steven said it seemed like Gems from Homeworld don’t think much of fusion, so I thought--”

“ _Well, you thought wrong_!” Peridot blurted out.

“But--”

“No, there’s no ‘but’ anything!” Peridot said. “Any information that dictates I should think less of you two is clearly _bad_ information and that’s all there is to it!”

Connie appeared stunned.

“You ... really mean that?” Connie said.

Peridot threw her hands in front of her, clutching the air.

“Yes, of course!” Peridot said. “I _know_ you two and that’s ...” Peridot lowered her voice. “That’s just all I _need_ to know concerning how to feel about this. If ... that makes sense.”

Connie’s eyes seemed to moisten as she leaned forward and gave Peridot a hug, her arms swinging around the back of Peridot’s neck.

“ _Hey_!” Peridot said, still getting used to this entire “being touched” thing.

“Sorry,” Connie said, with a laugh, her head on Peridot’s shoulder. “Just ... thank you.”

Peridot’s eyes fell to the floor. She cleared her throat.

“Just don’t tell Garnet I said any of that,” Peridot whispered. “I’d never heard the end of it if she’s learned I said that about fusion.”

Connie chuckled.

“Sure Peridot, whatever you say,” Connie said. She took a breath. “Maybe I’m worrying about my mom for no reason too, you know? I mean, if we’re talking about fusion and Garnet is helping, there’s probably nothing to worry about.”

Peridot nodded in agreement.

“Agreed,” she said. “In this situation, I’m positive there is nothing that could go wrong.”

* * *

“What do you mean Garnet’s not here?!” Steven exclaimed to Pearl as she folded Steven’s appearance modifiers (or “shirts”) in the floor of the living room.

Peridot and Connie stood behind him, having just come down the stairs. Both of their faces went pale.

 _Note to self,_ Peridot thought, _never assume the universe operates in my favor. Ever._

Pearl, clearly not understanding the gravitas of the situation, continued folding as she spoke.

“She left a few hours ago,” Pearl said to Steven. “I only saw her briefly because she dropped off some of your laundry.” She turned her head to Steven. “You wouldn’t happen to know how a bunch of tools and some of your dirty clothes ended up bubbled in Garnet’s room, would you?”

A bead of sweat dripped down Steven’s forehead as he glanced away from Pearl.

“Noooooooo ...” Steven said, shuffling his foot back and forth.

Pearl gave a small smile.

“They were in _your_ bubbles, Steven,” Pearl said softly.

Steven’s neck shrunk down into his shoulders. He appeared to be doing his best to look innocent.

“T-that’s an interesting mystery,” Steven said. He pounded his fist in his other hand. “That’s _exactly_ the kind of job for Secret Team--”

“It’s a job for ‘putting your dirty clothes in the hamper next time,’ Steven,” Pearl said with a chuckle.

Peridot glanced at Connie, who despite these shenanigans, was still clearly preoccupied with her current situation. Peridot cleared her throat.

“Where exactly did the fusion go?” Peridot asked.

Pearl’s eyes flicked over to Peridot. She stopped folding the shirt she was holding.

“Well, what is it?” Peridot said.

Pearl hesitated.

“She was--” Pearl’s eyes fell away from Peridot. “She went into the ocean looking for Malachite again.”

“Who’s Mala--” Peridot started, before she remembered. “Oh. Oh right.”

Malachite was _them_.

Peridot felt a chill run down her Gem. She must have looked distressed or something, because Connie leaned over to her.

“Are you okay?” Connie whispered.

“I’m fine,” Peridot lied. “It’s fine.”

Steven and Pearl both looked at Peridot. They shared a glance for just a moment. Peridot was sure they knew it bothered her, even if she never talked about it. After all, neither of them were anything resembling stupid.

“Well, um,” Steven said with a cough. “That’s not good. Garnet’s been in the ocean for _days_ doing this before! There’s no telling when she’ll be back!”

Connie frowned.

“Great,” said Connie. “So much for this being easy.”

“What do you two need Garnet for?” Pearl asked.

Steven chimed in.

“Connie wanted to tell her mom about the time we fused but was scared to, so we thought Garnet might help,” Steven said.

Pearl turned to Connie.

“You’re scared?” Pearl said.

Connie rubbed one elbow with her other hand.

“Yeah, kind of,” Connie said. “Kind of _a lot_.”

Pearl scooted closer to Connie and gently put her hand on Connie shoulder.

“It’s alright, Connie” Pearl said. “Remember what we talked about in training: deep, calming breaths.”

“There aren’t enough calming breaths in the world to make me not feel scared about this,” Connie said with a nervous laugh.

Peridot glanced over at Connie, still trying to shake off her own fear. She wished she had a better idea of what to say, but how could she even suggest a way to help Connie when Peridot was just as clueless about fusion as she was, when she was just as unable to handle her own fears?

Pearl, however, kept her tone calm the entire time. In a way, Peridot envied that. Poise seemed to come so natural to Pearl. She wondered if it was the same for all pearls or just this one. It was hard to tell. Peridot didn’t have much experience with pearls and, as Peridot learned during their confrontation while building the drill, this Pearl had long ago surpassed normal expectations.

“It’ll be alright, Connie,” Pearl continued. “If you really want Garnet’s help, you could always just wait until she comes back. A few days or weeks wait won’t hurt anything.”

“Yeah!” Steven said raising his arms in the air.

“No,” Connie said immediately.

“No?” Steven said, glancing over, his arms still raised.

Connie ran her hand through her hair, clutching her forehead.

“I’m not sure if I can wait that long,” Connie said. “This has been all I’ve been able to _think_ about since this morning. It just feels like I’m lying to my mom all over again every second I’m not telling her. I can’t stand it! I just ...” Connie lowered her voice. “I don’t want to spend that long thinking about how I’m hurting her.”

Pearl was silent for a moment. Her eyes drifted to the floor before flicking back to meet Connie’s gaze, filled with determination.

“You won’t have to, Connie,” Pearl said. “Because we’re going to tell her tonight.”

Connie stared back at Pearl.

“We are?” she said.

Pearl nodded and gave a kind smile.

“And I’m going to help you,” Pearl said.

“You will?” Connie said.

Pearl nodded again.

Peridot, tired of allowing herself to feel useless in this situation, hesitantly placed a gentle hand on Connie’s back.

“I will ... try to assist as well,” Peridot said. “I’m not sure how much help I’d be, but I’ll do whatever I can.”

Connie smiled back at Peridot. Peridot felt a tingle in her Gem. Even after experiencing it often lately, Peridot was still amazed how good this sense of belonging with earthlings felt. She could hardly remember how she ever felt content before feeling this way.

Pearl stood up from the floor and began to pace back and forth, holding her chin.

“Let’s see,” said Pearl. “I think the best way to go about this would be to invite your mother over for tea or dinner, something like that. Then after everything’s settled and we’ve made the dinner a pleasant experience, we _calmly_ broach this subject in terms that will be easy for her to understand.”

Peridot stifled a chuckle.

“So essentially you’re proposing we lure her into a false sense of security and then strike?” Peridot said.

Pearl folded her arms.

“Well, sneak attacks were my specialty during the war,” Pearl said. “The only difference is that this time it will be much more pleasant and nobody will die.” Pearl paused then added. “Hopefully.”

Connie gulped.

Pearl smiled.

“That was a joke,” she said.

Steven grinned.

“Yeah! Hurray for plans with no murder!” said Steven, way too enthusiastically.

Connie smiled weakly, then sighed.

“You’re sure we’ll be alright without Garnet helping?” Connie asked.

Steven chimed in before anyone else had a chance to answer.

“We’ll be fine,” Steven said. He waved a hand at Pearl and Peridot. “Actually, Peridot and Pearl are perfect for this!”

Pearl raised an eyebrow while Peridot stared in disbelief.

“... I’m flattered, but I’m not sure I follow your logic,” Peridot said.

Steven grinned confidently.

“Think about it!” said Steven. “Peridot, you’re logical and scientific, just like Connie’s mom. And you’re used to being surrounded by things you don’t understand, so if Dr. Maheswaran feels confused, you’d be the perfect Gem to relate to her!”

Peridot thought for a moment.

“Hm, fair point,” Peridot said.

Steven then gestured to Pearl.

“And Pearl, you’re perfect for this too. Dr. Maheswaran is a concerned mom and you’re like a mom, so hearing this from you might mean a lot to her.”

Pearl gazed directly into Steven’s eyes, astonished.

“Did you--” Pearl’s voice cracked for just an instant. “Did you just say I was like a mom?”

Steven dropped his grin, then looked up, as if unsure he had actually said that.

“Oh ... well, um, yeah, I guess I did,” Steven said. “Why is that a bad--”

“No,” Pearl whispered, a smile forming on her face. For some reason Peridot didn’t understand, her eyes began to fill with moisture. “No, that’s not bad at all.”

“Okay,” Steven said. “So we have a plan now! And I feel confident saying this plan is so good nothing can _possibly_ go wrong, at all, for all time! Let’s see ... I think Amethyst is at Vidalia’s now. Should I call her, Pearl?” There was no reply. “Pearl?”

Pearl was silent, her eyes still watery. She hadn’t moved.

Peridot put her palm to her face.

“Great, we broke Pearl!” Peridot said. “She’ll be no help now.”

“Huh?” Pearl said, shaking her head. “Oh. Um ...” Pearl tented her fingers together. “Well, this operation will require a lot of tact and restraint ... so it would be best Amethyst stays as _far_ away from it as possible.”

Peridot narrowed her eyes.

“That’s a rather rude thing to say,” Peridot said, irritated.

Pearl’s cheeks blushed bluish.

“I wouldn’t say ... rude, exactly,” Pearl said. “More like _accurate_.”

Steven put his hands on his hips.

“ _Pearl_ ,” Steven said.

Pearl sighed.

“Alright, fine,” Pearl said. “Call Amethyst and at least let her know what's going on. I suppose letting her know _nothing_ would be even more dangerous if she just happened to come home while Connie’s mother was here.”

Steven smiled broadly.

“Great! You guys can start cooking and I’ll call Vidalia’s house and let Amethyst know what’s up!” Steven said.

“Right,” Pearl said, nodding.

Connie smiled weakly at Steven.

“Okay! I’ll call my mom and tell her Pearl invited her over for dinner around five,” said Connie. She took a deep breath. “Okay ... okay, this could actually work.”

Pearl clasped her hands together.

“Don’t worry, Connie,” said Pearl. “You can count on us.”

Connie grinned and pulled out her primitive flip communicator. She walked towards the front door while Steven ran up the stairs, quickly dialing on his phone as well.

Peridot stood there alone with Pearl. Pearl had her eyes closed and wore a confident smile on her face. Peridot looked up at Pearl.

“Pearl?” Peridot said.

Just quiet enough Peridot could barely hear, Pearl whispered, “ _He said I was like a mom ..._ ”

“Pearl!”

“Hm!” Pearl looked down. “Oh ... yes Peridot?”

“Exactly what food are we preparing for this ‘dinner' ritual anyway?” Peridot said.

Pearl’s smile remained on her face, but she opened her eyes and her cheeks turned slightly blue.

“ _I have no idea_ ,” Pearl said in a strained voice.

* * *

Within fifteen minutes, Peridot was sitting on one of the stools at the kitchen counter as Pearl threw what appeared to be random items into a circular container and stuck it into the house’s primitive heating unit they called a stove.

“Let’s see,” Pearl said to herself as she turned a dial on the machine. “It’s been a while since I did this. I ... think that’s what the heat was supposed to be set to ... yes, that’s it! Okay.” She took a breath then put her hands to her face. “I can’t believe I didn’t think ahead, this is ridiculous, _what is wrong with me_?” she muttered.

Peridot frowned. It was actually hard to watch Pearl get so nervous. It reminded Peridot too much of _herself_.

“So what exactly is that thing you’re preparing?” Peridot asked Pearl.

“It’s called a pie,” Pearl said, turning away from the stove. “It’s a human dessert that most of them seem to enjoy ... and more importantly, it’s one of the only things I know how to make. That and some tea should be adequate, I believe.”

“Hm,” Peridot said.

Pearl walked over to the cabinet and pulled out a small tin of green powder. Peridot watched silently as Pearl brewed some water in a small pitcher and mixed in the powder. She took a cup from the cabinet and poured in the liquid. Steam came from the top. Pearl took a whiff.

“There we go,” Pearl said holding the cup. “Nice and calming matcha tea. Perfect.” Pearl glanced up at Peridot and put the cup on the counter. “Would you like some?”

Peridot flinched, flashing back to the last time she’d ingested a cup of anything. The aftermath had not been pleasant. She looked into the cup.

“Is this ... safe?” Peridot asked.

“Of course,” Pearl said. “It’s just a human tea. Perfectly harmless.”

Peridot’s eyes didn’t leave the cup.

“... it’s green,” she said.

Pearl smiled.

“So are you,” Pearl said.

“... good point.” Peridot thumped her fingers on the counter. “Alright, how about this?” She scooted the cup towards Pearl with two fingers. “ _You_ drink it first.”

Pearl’s already-large eyes widened. She grimaced and flicked her eyes down at the tea.

“Oh ... well ...” Pearl coughed. “I’m ... not necessarily a fan of eating and drinking so-”

“Well, I’m definitely not drinking that now!” Peridot exclaimed.

“Honestly, it’s good for you.”

“Then why don’t you want to drink-- why would you even know to _make_ these things if you didn’t want to ingest them?”

“ _I enjoy the process_!”

“It’s poison, isn’t it?” said Peridot.

“Why would I give you poison?!” said Pearl, raising her voice.

“I don’t know, why _would_ you?!”

Pearl’s eye twitched and she dragged one hand across her face.

“Alright ...” Pearl muttered. She stiffly walked back into the kitchen. She pulled another cup from the cupboard and poured more of the green liquid into it. She stepped back to the counter and slammed the cup onto it. “If I drink this with you, will you at least try it?”

Peridot tapped her finger on the side of the cup.

“I suppose that’s ... fair ...” Peridot said.

“Alright then.” Pearl lifted the cup, her pinkie finger extended. She held it in front of her, cringing as if revolted.

In response, Peridot shakily reached for her own teacup. She tried to extend her touch stump just like Pearl, but nearly lost her grip altogether, so she quickly abandoned that idea. She held the cup in front of her face just like Pearl.

“On three,” Pearl said. “One ... two ... three!”

Pearl sipped on her tea while Peridot gulped her own into her mouth. Shockingly, it didn’t taste unpleasant.

But she still had no intention of swallowing it.

Peridot stared at Pearl, whose eyes were fixated on her while her lips pursed together. Peridot held the liquid in her mouth.

“You didn’t swallow ...” Pearl said from the corner of her mouth.

“Neither did you,” Peridot said from the corner of her mouth as well.

“That’s beside the point--”

“ _Poison_!”

Pearl’s cheeks turned a faint blue.

“... fine,” Pearl said. Her throat bobbed as she swallowed the liquid.

Peridot reluctantly let the tea slide down her throat. She steadied herself on the counter, waiting for a wave a nausea to wash over her like the last time she drank ... but it never did. She straightened up.

“Hm. That was ... not excruciating,” Peridot said.

“You see?” Pearl said, who herself appeared green all of a sudden. “Perfectly fine.”

Peridot raised an eyebrow.

“Why do you look green?” Peridot said.

“Because anything passing through my body makes me just slightly ...” Pearl gulped. “Uncomfortable.”

“Oh. Hm ...” Peridot said. “Sorry.”

Pearl smiled weakly, color returning to her face.

“It’s fine,” Pearl said. “I can’t exactly blame you for being hesitant to drink that when I was too.”

Peridot picked up the cup and took another sip.

“This ... tastes fairly enjoyable,” Peridot said slowly. “Thank you for making it.”

Pearl smiled wider.

“Thanks,” she said. She chuckled. “You’ve certainly come a long way from not wanting to have anything to do with me.”

Peridot frowned, thinking back to the situation with the robot competition, one of her many regrets before she truly changed. Thinking all the awful words she said to Pearl then made her nauseous, even if the tea itself didn’t.

Pearl seemed to notice this and spoke softly.

“Sorry,” Pearl said. “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad about that--”

“No, it’s fine,” Peridot said. “I know I did not conduct myself well back then. I’m sorry.”

Pearl was still for a moment, then reached out and touched Peridot’s hand with the tips of her finger.

“Peridot ... the important thing is that you’re one of us now,” Pearl said. “It doesn’t _matter_ what you were before.”

Peridot gave a weak smile back.

“Thanks,” Peridot said. “That ... means a lot.” She stared into the green liquid and sighed. “I hope I’m adequately able to assist with this operation. It would be ... _extremely_ upsetting for me to see Connie and Steven upset.”

“You really care about them, don’t you?” Pearl said warmly.

Peridot flicked her eyes up at Pearl. She shrunk down in the stool, suddenly bashful.

“It appears difficult to _not_ care about them,” Peridot said.

Pearl chuckled.

“You’re certainly not wrong,” she said.

Peridot fidgeted with her hands, deep in thought. It occurred to her if she truly wanted to help Connie and Steven during this meeting, there was some more information she needed.

“... what’s it feel like?” Peridot said.

Pearl furrowed her brow, confused.

“Pardon?” Pearl said.

“Fusion,” Peridot said. “What does it feel like? I’ve ... never attempted it before.” She glanced away. “If I’m going to help explain fusion, it would help if my information was accurate.”

“Oh. Well um ...” Pearl said. A faint smile appeared on her face. “It’s hard to explain if you haven’t experienced it. It’s ...” Pearl waved her hand out. “It’s as if you fade away and someone who is the best parts of both Gems is there instead. But it doesn’t feel like you’re _gone_ , necessarily. It feels as if you were always just half of that being and now you’re whole.” Pearl clasped her hands together. “Does that make sense?”

“I ... think I understand,” Peridot said. “In all honesty, it’s always seemed frightening to me.” Peridot stammered. “N-not that I’ve ever had a _desire_ to do that anyway! It’s just ...” Peridot lowered her voice. “The idea of your consciousness, everything you are disappearing and changing into something else is very ... distressing to me.” Peridot gave a single laugh. “I imagine to you that opinion seems quite ... strange.”

Pearl shook her head.

“N-no, it’s quite alright!” Pearl said. “Fusion takes a lot of trust. It’s _okay_ for it to seem frightening at first. It’s about all choice and even choosing not to fuse at all is fine. It’s _nothing_ to be taken lightly. I--” Pearl frowned and traced her finger on the kitchen counter. “I’m in a position to know that more than most.”

“Huh?” Peridot said.

Pearl sighed and hugged her chest.

“... would you like to know one of the reasons I wanted to help Connie and Steven?” Pearl said.

“Al...right...” Peridot said, not sure where this was going.

Pearl took a breath.

“Before you joined us, I did something ... bad to Garnet,” Pearl said, her voice heavy. “I essentially lied ... no, not essentially, I _did_ lie. I tricked her into fusing under false pretenses. Garnet felt betrayed ... and honestly I can’t blame her.”

Peridot continued listening. She wished she could have thought of something to say to comfort Pearl, but fusing was so foreign to her she couldn’t think of anything.

“She’s since forgiven me,” Pearl continued, “and things have gotten better ... but the fact remains it was a truly terrible thing to do. I was so ... caught up in how I wanted to feel that I didn’t even _think_ how about how she would feel. Fusion is something that requires a lot of trust when it's done the right way ... and it was so easy for me at the time to forget that.

“But the thing is, Connie and Steven have _somehow_ managed to do everything right. They trust each other, they care about each other, and they’ve never abused fusion ... which is something I can’t even say about myself.” Pearl clenched her fist. “And I’m _not_ going to allow either one of them to feel guilty about fusing the right way and doing _nothing_ wrong if there’s something I can do about it! They deserve better than that!”

Pearl paused, then unclenched her fist. She grasped her teacup with both hands.

“That’s how I feel, at least,” Pearl said softly.

Peridot was speechless for a moment. They sat in awkward silence until Peridot finally spoke.

“It seems quite ... noble, I suppose, to think such a way,” Peridot said.

Pearl shook her head and gave a strained smile.

“Thank you, but I’m not noble,” Pearl said. “I never was. I’m just ... trying to correct my own mistakes, I guess.”

Peridot nodded.

“Well then,” Peridot said. She lowered her voice to a whisper. “Then that just means we have something else in common ...”

Pearl stared at Peridot. She bit her lip.

“May I ... ask you a personal question?” Pearl said.

“I suppose,” Peridot said.

Pearl took one finger and traced it along the rim of the teacup.

“I um ... I couldn’t help but notice earlier when I mentioned Malachite, you seemed to get rather ... quiet,” Pearl said. She tilted her head down, her eyes still set on Peridot. “Is there ... something about that troubling you?”

Peridot felt a lump in her throat. Her contruct began to tingle all over. Up until now, she had done her best to distance herself from that ... situation. Somehow, she managed to curve the corner of her mouth upward.

“The fact there’s a fusion under the ocean that can control water on a planet _mostly_ covered in it isn’t _enough_ of a reason to be apprehensive about it?”

“Well ... no, that’s certainly a good point,” Pearl said. “ _Is_ that the only reason?”

Peridot blinked, then sighed.

“No, it’s not,” Peridot said, sinking down in her seat. She suddenly found it hard to look Pearl in the eye when she spoke. After a moment, she took a breath. “I feel ... responsible for them.”

“You mean Jasper and Lapis?” Pearl said.

Peridot nodded slowly.

“Yes ...” Peridot said. “If it wasn’t for my mission ... neither one of them would be on this planet. Neither one of them would be ... trapped.”

“Oh ... I see,” Pearl said. She appeared to be struggling to find something reassuring to say. “I didn’t know you were ... close with either of them.”

“I wasn’t,” Peridot said. “I never liked Jasper much, but when I knew her, she was simply trying to do the job she was assigned to do. Even if her methods were somewhat ... _questionable_ at times.” Peridot exhaled a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. “But in all honesty ... the Lazuli’s situation I find much more troubling ...”

“Were you two ... friends or--”

Peridot couldn’t help but start laughing nervously.

“What’s so funny?” Pearl said.

Despite herself, Peridot was laughing so hard tears rolled down her cheeks. She doubled over, her head hitting the counter.

“No, no,” Peridot said between breaths. “No, I’m sorry, that question is just _hilarious_.”

“Why?” Pearl asked.

“Because there’s not a strong enough word that’s the _opposite_ of friend to describe how she thinks of me now.” Peridot continued laughing. “I-I’m positive she hates me so much she’ll likely want to _kill_ me the moment she sees me.”

Pearl frowned.

“That ... doesn’t sound too funny,” Pearl said.

“ _It’s not_!” Peridot said, her nervously laughter finally slowing down as she tried to regain her composure. After all, she didn’t want to seem like she was losing it, even though she certainly _was_.

“Why would she want to kill you?” Pearl asked.

Peridot’s eyes drew down to the counter.

“Well,” Peridot said, “aside from the obvious point that she was a prisoner and wouldn’t be back on this planet if it wasn’t for me ...” Peridot stopped, trying to find the right words. “Well, I suppose it’s similar to the situation you described with Garnet ...” Peridot lowered her head. “I ... lied about ... things.”

“What kind of things?” Peridot said.

Peridot thought about just dropping the subject all together. Just speaking about this was making feel numb all over ... but at the same time, there was a strange sense of relief stating this outloud. Maybe it was because Pearl seemed so similar to Peridot that it was just easier for her to open up about this. She opened her mouth to speak ...

But before Peridot could say anything, she sniffed the air.

“What smells like smoke?” Peridot said.

“Hm?” Pearl looked back at the stove. “Oh, that’s probably just the pie finishing. I remember sometimes if it’s in a bit too long, it can smell slightly burned. That’s all. It’s normal.”

Pearl took a step towards the stove when black smoke began to billow from the seams of the stove door. The smell got even stronger.

Peridot remained frozen in her stool. Pearl simply stood there, looking pale as black smoke wafted in the air.

“Is um ... is _that_ normal as well?” Peridot said.

“No ... no it isn’t ...” Pearl said quietly.

As if a switch in both of their minds had been flicked at the same time, Peridot and Pearl both panicked.

“ _FIRE_!” Pearl shouted.

“OH STARS!” Peridot clutched her hair and jumped from the stool. “WHY IS IT ON FIRE?!”

“I dunno, I-I thought I set the heat right--”

“WELL, OBVIOUSLY NOT!” Peridot scanned the kitchen ceiling. “W-WHERE’S THE AUTOMATED FIRE EXTINGUISHING SYSTEM?!”

“We don’t have one!”

“ _ENGINEER_ ONE!”

“THERE’S NO TIME!” Pearl clawed her face with her hand, all the while more smoke poured out. “Uh- uh- OKAY! I’ll turn the stove off, yo-you find a pot and fill it with water from the sink!”

“Okay ...” Peridot clenched her fists, composing herself to take action. “... what’s a pot?”

“JUST FIND ANYTHING TO FILL WITH WATER!”

“Okay, okay!”

Pearl ran to the stove and started pressing buttons. Peridot frantically looked on the bottom cabinets underneath the sink, seeing nothing but piping and chemical cleaner.

“ _I can’t find anything_!” Peridot shouted.

“Um,” Pearl said waving away some black smoke. She opened the stove door. Peridot saw a brief glimpse of orange flames before Pearl slammed it back shut. “Um ... I-I think some pots are in the top cabinet!”

“OH GREAT, RIGHT WHERE I CAN’T REACH!” Peridot said, gesturing towards her short legs. “THIS IS _SO_ OPTIMAL!”

“Nevermind, I’ll--”

Just at that moment, the front door swung opened as Amethyst walked in, holding a square glass container of some sort.

“Hey nerds, what’s--” Amethyst stopped as soon she saw the smoke-filled kitchen. “ _WHOA_!”

“AMET-” said Peridot, but ended up coughing as she inhaled smoke.

“PERIDOT!” Amethyst said. She threw the container to the ground and ran into the kitchen. Amethyst shoved Pearl out of the way and opened the stove. Small embers crackled inside it.

Amethyst held her hand out. There was a flash of white light as her hand shifted into a large circular fan. Her fan-hand spun rapidly as she aimed it at the inside of the stove, which pushed the flames back and blew the smoke around the room. After a few moments, the flames died down into nothing.

Amethyst took a deep breath as her hand glowed and changed back into normal. Pearl and Peridot both stared as the smoke dissipated.

“Oh wow ... thank you, Amethyst,” Pearl said.

“Don’t mention it,” said Amethyst. She turned to Peridot. “You okay, Peri?”

“Oh. Yes. Thanks,” Peridot said. Her eyes were bright. She hoped it wasn’t too obvious that she was in awe of just how cool Amethyst was, taking charge of the situation the way she did.

Amethyst smiled and walked back to the living room, picking up the dish she had thrown on the floor. Amazingly, it was still intact. Peridot could now see it held some cheese-covered food inside.

“So um, Vidalia made some chicken and broccoli thing for our dinner,” Amethyst said. “I guess we could serve that with the, um ...”

Pearl pulled the pie tin out of the stove, which was charred back and still smoking. The ingredients Pearl had thrown together had all but evaporated. Pearl turned it upside down and caused some black chunks inside it to fall to the floor.

“Serve that with the nothing that you guys made,” Amethyst finished.

Pearl bit her lip, looking embarrassed.

“I ... think your dish should be sufficient for our dinner party,” Pearl said. “Connie’s mom should be here in a couple hours.”

“Uh huh, awesome,” said Amethyst dryly. “I expect a perfect party with zero mistakes after how well the cooking went.”

Peridot looked down at the floor, her mind racing with fears of all the terrible events that could occur in this operation. She glanced up at Pearl, who picked at the scorched pie tin. Peridot could tell Pearl was just as worried as she was. She had no idea what they were going to do ...

As all these thoughts ran through her mind, Amethyst’s eyes fell on the pie tin in Pearl’s hand.

“Hey, you gonna eat that?” Amethyst said.

Without even looking at Amethyst, Pearl handed the tin to Amethyst who chomped down on it. She scrunched her mouth up, then shrugged.

“Eh, tastes a little undercooked ...” Amethyst said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: One Really Awkward Dinner Party!


	6. Defusing Conflict pt. 2

“Okay, Connie, how do I look?” Steven asked.

Connie closed her flip phone as her feet dangled over the edge of Steven’s bed. She looked up to see Steven standing at the top of the stairs wearing a bow tie on the same shirt he always wore.

Connie smiled.

“Handsome, as always,” Connie said. “But I don’t think the bow tie is really necessary ...”

“But I want to look formal,” Steven said.

“Then why the star shirt?”

“Because it’s my thing!” Steven put his hands on his hips and grinned. “It says to the everyone ‘Hello world! I’m Steven Universe, the adorable magic boy with a star on his shirt!’ It’s charming!”

Connie giggled.

“Well, I can’t argue with that,” she said.

Connie flipped her phone back open and checked the time yet again. It was 4:45 PM. Connie closed her eyes and sighed.

Steven frowned and sat beside Connie.

“You’re still really nervous about this, aren’t you?” Steven said.

Connie nodded. The more she tried not to obsess over telling her mom about Stevonnie, the more she found herself unable to think of anything else.

Steven touched Connie’s hand.

“I--If it makes you feel any better, I’m nervous too,” Steven said. “I understand.”

“You are?” Connie said. She raised an eyebrow. “You weren’t acting nervous.”

“Because I’m super tough and macho!”

Connie smiled. Steven cleared his throat.

“But seriously ... I am nervous,” said Steven. “Well, I mean, not so much about the fusion thing but ... more just about seeing your mom again ...”

“Why?” Connie asked. “You’ve met my mom before.”

“Yeah, but now I’m meeting your mom after she _definitely_ knows we’ve kissed!” Steven said. He stiffened. “It’s scary ...”

“Well ...” Connie said hesitantly. “Um, look at it this way. You’ve fought Gem monsters and stuff before. Seeing my mom isn’t any scarier than that, is it?”

“ _Yes, it is_!”

Connie couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Heh, trust me, Steven, you don’t have anything to worry about,” Connie said. “She was surprisingly cool about us being together.”

Steven relaxed his shoulders. He exhaled.

“Well ... m-maybe if she really is that cool about this, she’ll be okay with fusion too,” Steven said.

Connie sighed.

“I hope so. I just-- I dunno,” she said, glancing down at the floor.

Steven gave her a sweet smile.

“Hey, hey, I’m sure it’ll be okay,” Steven said. “I mean, the Gems are helping us so I’m sure everything will work out.”

He touched her shoulder; it gave Connie goosebumps. She smiled back, hoping her blush wasn’t too noticeable.

“You really think that?” Connie said.

“Sure,” Steven said. “If there’s anyone who’ll know exactly what to do, it’ll be them.

* * *

“Okay, so, you built a robot from nothing before--” Amethyst said to Pearl, sitting next to Peridot on the couch.

“ _Amethyst_ ,” Pearl said as she placed plates on the coffee table.

“And figured out how Peri’s escape pod works--”

“Okay, Amethyst, we get it.”

“But trying to use the _stove_ is what makes your brain explode?”

Pearl shot Amethyst a nasty glare. Amethyst grinned, showing all her teeth.

Peridot nudged Amethyst with her elbow.

“Hey, come on, quit it,” Peridot said.

“Oh, I’m just _kidding_ ,” Amethyst said, waving her hand dismissively. “Pearl knows I’m just joking around. It’s the basis of our entire relationship. Right, Pearl?”

Pearl just rolled her eyes.

“ _See_? She loves it!” Amethyst said.

To Peridot's surprise, Pearl _was_ actually smiling. Peridot shook her head.

_Interpersonal relationships on this planet make no sense_ , Peridot thought.

Pearl stood back and looked at the coffee table, which now had six plates placed neatly on it.

“Well, there’s not exactly much space, but it’ll have to do,” Pearl said. “It’s a shame we don’t have a dining room set.”

“Well,” Amethyst said, “you and Garnet don’t really eat and I’m cool just eating anywhere like an animal, so--”

“Oh, that reminds me ...” Pearl said with her hands on her hips. “I don’t suppose it’s too much to ask for you to display some table manners tonight.”

“Oh.” Amethyst rolled her eyes. “You mean like drinking with my pinkie out and arguing about what fork to use?”

“I mean _actually_ use a knife and fork, at the very least.”

“Ugh! _Fiiiine_.”

Peridot raised an eyebrow.

“What is fork?” Peridot asked.

“Oh!” Pearl said. “Hang on a moment, I’ll show you.”

Pearl walked into the kitchen and returned a moment later, holding  the most horrifying metal torture device Peridot had ever seen.

“What is that?!” Peridot asked.

Pearl tilted her head curiously.

“It’s a fork,” Pearl said. “Humans use it to help shovel food in their mouths.”

“It’s a _trident_!” Peridot said. “Why does it look like a weapon!”

“Well ... technically it could be used as one,” Pearl said, twirling the fork in her hand.

“So humans just casually insert sharp weapons in their mouths while eating?”

“Basically.”

“HOW HAVE HUMANS _SURVIVED_ THIS LONG?!”

“Mostly cause of us, actually...” Amethyst said off-handedly.

Pearl ignored Amethyst.

“It’s not so complicated,” Pearl said to Peridot. “You just use this to manipulate food into your mouth. Once we serve dinner, I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it.”

Peridot stared at the fork. Despite its nightmarish appearance, she thought she could see its utility for food consumption ...

“I see,” Peridot said. “I’ll do my best.”

Pearl smiled. She gripped the table and scooted it out to the middle of the room. She dusted off her hands.

“Okay... now, the table is too low for any chairs we have, so I suppose we could eat sitting on our knees like we’re having a tea ceremony,” Pearl said. “Appropriate, since I made tea.”

“‘Sitting on your knees?’” Peridot said.

“Yes. Like this.” Pearl placed her knees against the floor and straightened her back. Her knees stuck out as she rested her hands in her lap.

“So you just ... sit on your knees?” Peridot said, mystified.

“Yes. It's quite comfortable once you get used to it.”

“And humans consider that ... appropriate?” Peridot said.

Pearl seemed puzzled.

“Yes, of course,” she said. “Come on. Try it.”

Peridot glanced at Pearl’s knees sticking out. She shrugged.

“Alright ...” Peridot said, getting up from the couch.

Peridot walked over to Pearl and, after a moment's hesitation, sat on Pearl’s knees. She shifted uncomfortably as she settled on them.

“Seems a bit strange ... but you're right, it _is_ comfortable,” Peridot said.

“Um, Peridot ...” Pearl said.

Amethyst clutched her mouth to keep from laughing. Peridot noticed this and grimaced.

“What?” Peridot said.

“I um ... meant sit on your _own_ knees,” Pearl said. “In that same position.”

“ _Oh_!” Peridot jumped off Pearl and scratched her shoulder nervously. “Oh gosh, I'm so sorry, I--”

“No, no, go back, I like that idea _better_!” Amethyst shouted .

Peridot blushed as she sat back on the couch and shrunk her head down, wishing she were invisible.

“It’s alright, Peridot,” Pearl said. She smiled. “Just a simple misunderstanding.”

Pearl glanced at the table and stood up.

“I’ll get the tea and the broccoli casserole Vidalia made. I imagine Connie’s mom should be here any--”

At that moment, there was a knock at the door.

At the same time, Steven and Connie ran down the stairs.

“That must be my mom!” Connie shouted. Her face was pale, discomfort clear in her voice.

“Is everything ready?” Steven said, running up to Peridot and the other Gems.

“Almost,” Pearl said. “I just need to finish setting the table.”

“Okay, I guess I’ll just ... stall. Okay ...” Steven said. Despite how he usually acted, he seemed just as fidgety and uncomfortable as Connie.

Peridot thought Pearl realized this as well since she smiled and placed her hand on Steven’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry, Steven,” Pearl said. “We’ll handle everything.” She adjusted the bow tie on his shirt. “You look very handsome ...”

Steven returned her smile, his eyes twinkling.

There was another knock at the door.

“We should probably answer that,” Connie said.

“Oh yeah, right!” Steven said.

Connie and Steven ran to the front door. Peridot watched them.

Amethyst met Peridot’s gaze. Her carefree demeanor faded.

“They seemed kinda nervous ...” Amethyst said.

“Yes,” Peridot said.

“We should go help,” Amethyst said, as if she was echoing Peridot’s own thoughts.

Peridot nodded. They got up from the couch.

Honestly, Peridot was a little surprised by herself. She usually made any effort to avoid social interaction, especially with unfamiliar creatures ... but knowing how nervous the two humans were, especially Connie, made Peridot want to help in any way she could.

It felt _good_ to help. Peridot only wished she had realized that before she came here, back when she--

Peridot stopped herself. Connie and Steven were what was important now, not her personal baggage. She pushed those thoughts away as best she could.

Peridot and Amethyst approached the door just as Steven opened it. Peridot tried to move forward, but Amethyst tugged at her hand.

“Shhh!” Amethyst whispered, putting her finger to her lips. “Let’s see how this goes first before we rush in.”

“You mean like ... reconnaissance?“ Peridot asked.

“That sounds way better than saying we’re creeping on them so yeah, let's go with that ...”

Peridot nodded as she and Amethyst kept their distance.

The door swung open and the person who Peridot could only assume was “Mom” stood in front of Connie and Steven.

In some ways, the Mom looked how Peridot had expected. She was taller than Steven and Connie (a common trait for older humans), even a bit taller than Vidalia. She looked quite like Connie, their skin and facial structure visibly similar. Her hair was even long and dark like Connie’s, though hers had small streaks of grey. They looked like Gems from the same cut; if that was the case, perhaps the process of manufacturing humans wasn’t as different from Gem production as she thought.

The “Mom” gave a small smile to Connie and Steven as she stepped inside.

“Hi Connie.” She looked down at Steven. “Hello Steven. It’s good to see you again.”

Steven stiffened and lowered his head, displaying more unease than Peridot had ever seen from him before.

“Um! Hi, Miss-- Dr. Maheswaran! I--It’s nice to meet you, sir--ma’am!” Steven said, his hands fidgeting. “I-I mean I know we’ve met before but um--”

As Steven stammered, Peridot darted her eyes to Amethyst, who was watching the scene intently.

“Is she like a Diamond?” Peridot whispered.

“What?” Amethyst said.

“Steven’s behavior is similar to how lesser Gems act in front of Diamonds. They command authority and invoke fear. Do ‘moms’ do that as well?”

Amethyst considered for a moment.

“If it’s your girlfriend’s mom, then yeah,” Amethyst said.

“I see,” Peridot said, touching her chin.

Meanwhile, Connie gave Steven a gentle bump with her elbow. She looked up at the “Mom” Steven had called Dr. Maheswaran.

“Sorry mom,” Connie said, smiling nervously. “Steven was a little nervous about all this.”

“Ah yes, I see,” Dr. Maheswaran said. She smiled at Steven. “It’s alright, Steven. I don’t want to make you feel awkward. I’m glad Connie is with a nice boy.”

Steven’s cheeks reddened.

“Besides,” Dr. Maheswaran said, “we’re just having dinner. It’s not like you’re asking permission to marry Connie or anything like that.” She paused. “You’re not, right?”

“Ye-- _no_!” Steven said, sweat trickling down his forehead. “I mean, not that I wouldn’t _want_ to or--”

“Yep, time to interrupt now,” Amethyst said as she stepped forward. Peridot, not asking any questions, followed.

“ _Hey girl_!” Amethyst said with a grin as she walked up behind Connie and Steven.

Dr. Maheswaran stared at Amethyst.

“Heh heh,” Dr. Maheswaran said uncomfortably. “Ah yes. You were ... Amethyst, right?”

“Last time I checked,” Amethyst said, putting her hands behind her head.

Peridot glanced over at Steven and Connie. Steven breathed a sigh of relief as Connie gripped one of his hands. At least he seemed to be able to catch his breath while Connie’s mom focused on Amethyst instead. Peridot decided it was best she assist as well.

Peridot cleared her throat and took a step forward.

“Hello, Dock-tour Maheswaran,” Peridot said.

Dr. Maheswaran looked down at Peridot and, for whatever reason, seemed pleased.

“Ah, you must be Peridot,” Dr. Maheswaran said. “My daughter’s told me a lot about you. It’s nice to meet you.”

Peridot smiled and glanced at Connie. She wouldn’t admit it but she got a fuzzy feeling knowing Connie had even bothered mentioning Peridot’s existence to this “Mom.”

“Yes,” Peridot said. “It is an honor to meet you as well.”

Feeling it was appropriate, Peridot crossed her arms to form a Diamond shape, the traditional sign of respect when addressing the Diamond Authority on Homeworld.

“Oh, um, yes ...” Dr. Maheswaran tried to cross her arms similarly but ended up making an X rather than a Diamond shape. “Is this-- am I doing it right?”

“Um, yeah. Sure.” Peridot coughed, not having the nerve to correct her.

The corner of Dr. Maheswaran’s mouth curved upward. She appeared proud of herself.

At that moment, Pearl approached from the living room.

“All right, the table is set,” Pearl said. “I apologize for the delay.”

“Oh, no, it’s no problem at all,” Dr. Maheswaran replied. “It’s good to see you again, Pearl.”

Dr. Maheswaran made the sloppy X with her arms in front of her chest.

Pearl stared blankly.

“What are you--” Pearl stopped speaking as soon as she saw Peridot and Amethyst behind Dr. Maheswaran, waving their arms and shaking their heads in silent alarm.

“Oh!” Pearl said. “Um ... yes. Right. X’s are wonderful.”

Dr. Maheswaran frowned and dropped her hands, saying nothing.

Amethyst smacking her palm to her face. Steven grimaced.

Connie laughed nervously.

“Heh ... hehehe ...” said Connie. “Boy, I _sure_ am hungry. Why don’t-- why don’t we eat now?”

Dr. Maheswaran’s smiled, but even someone as socially inept as Peridot could tell it was forced.

“Yes, good idea,” Dr. Maheswaran said.

Pearl cleared her throat.

“Yes. Right this way,” she said, gesturing towards the living room. “I’ll bring out the tea in a moment.”

Dr. Maheswaran perked up a little as she walked past Pearl.

“Ooh, that sounds lovely,” she said.

Steven followed her, his cheeks still flushed.

Amethyst walked up to Pearl, glaring at her.

“‘ _X’s are wonderful_ ’?” Amethyst said.

“ _I panicked_!” Pearl protested.

Peridot frowned.

“I’m sorry,” Peridot said. “It’s my fault for not correcting her ... and showing her the greeting in the first place.”

Connie touched Peridot’s shoulder.

“No, Peridot, you did fine,” Connie said. “It’s not a big deal.”

Peridot smiled at Connie, but was disappointed to see it did little to calm Connie’s nerves.

Connie took a breath and looked up at Pearl.

“Are you sure we can pull this off?” Connie said. “I mean ... telling my mom?”

Pearl wore a serious look on her face.

“Yes, of course,” Pearl said. “I admit we may have made a few mistakes ...”

Amethyst grinned.

“If by ‘we,’ you mean ‘mostly you...’” Amethyst muttered.

Pearl shot Amethyst a nasty look for a fraction of a second before looking back at Connie.

“But I’m confident once we start dinner and we’ve all had a chance to talk calmly, it’ll be much easier to broach the subject,” Pearl said.

Connie clasped her hands together and nodded.

“Okay,” she said to herself. “Okay, good ... we can do this.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Peridot put her hand on Connie’s shoulder.

“I’m ... sure Pearl is right,” said Peridot, trying to display more optimism than she actually felt. “This “mom” seems to find Steven agreeable, at least. And she doesn’t appear to be hostile in any way. She clearly _wants_ to be supportive so I’m certain everything will be fine.”

Despite Peridot’s words sounding empty to herself, it made Connie brighten up a little.

“Thank you, Peridot,” she said before following her mom and Steven into the living room. Pearl walked out after her.

Once they left, Amethyst shuffled up to Peridot with a huge smile on her face.

“What?” Peridot said.

“You know, for someone who thinks they’re bad at talking to people, you’re really good at it when it matters,” Amethyst said.

Peridot glanced away from Amethyst, blushing. Amethyst placed a gentle hand Peridot’s shoulder. It made Peridot’s Gem tingle.

“Good job, Peri,” Amethyst said.

“Yes ... um ... thank you,” Peridot said. “L-let’s go attempt food ingestion.”

“Wanna sit on my knees?” Amethyst said as they started towards the living room.

Peridot cheeks got redder, but couldn’t help but smile back.

“M-maybe later,” Peridot said.

* * *

“Hmm, this casserole is delightful,” Mom said, knelt next to Connie at the coffee table. “Don’t you think so, Connie?”

“Oh ...” Connie scraped her fork against the cheesy chicken and broccoli mash on her plate. She smiled. “Yes, it’s pretty good.”

Connie hadn’t taken a single bite of it. She tried not to cringe when she realized that was yet another lie she was telling Mom.

It wasn’t that the food looked bad, because it didn’t. It was just that her nerves were so shot and her stomach was so upset that the thought of eating anything made her want to throw up.

She felt Steven’s hand brush against hers underneath the table. She glanced over to her left and saw Steven smiling. He was still nervous. Even when he didn’t show it, Connie could always tell.

Connie tried not to think about the fact he was nervous because her mom was here. Which was only happening because Connie _insisted_ on telling her mom about Stevonnie. So on top of being anxious about that, she felt even worse for making Steven worry.

_Don’t focus on that_ , she told herself. _Just focus on dinner_.

She looked around the table. Pearl, Amethyst, and Peridot were knelt on the opposite side of the table. Peridot took hesitant bites of the casserole, inserting the fork in her mouth at an awkward angle that scratched the inside of her cheek. Amethyst seemed amused by this, but didn’t correct her. Pearl, who sat in front of a suspiciously clean plate, brought a cup to her lips and pretended to take a sip of tea; the only reason Connie knew she was pretending was because she had happened to see the cup filled with chewed food instead of tea.

Mom took another bite of the casserole.

“This is wonderful,” said Mom. “I didn’t know you were such a good cook, Pearl.”

Pearl blushed, her cheeks turning a faint blue.

“Well, um, actually--” she started.

Amethyst cut her off.

“Yeah! Pearl did a great job!” Amethyst said. “Didn’t you, Pearl?”

Pearl glanced at Amethyst for a second before an uneasy smile crept on her face.

“Um, yes,” Pearl said. She cleared her throat. “W-well, I try.”

Peridot raised an eyebrow, confused.

“But--” Peridot started.

Without changing her facial expression, Amethyst discreetly nudged Peridot with her elbow. It caused Peridot to almost drop her fork. They shared a look, which was enough to let Peridot know to clam up.

“Yep, she slaved over a hot stove,” Amethyst continued.

“Yes. Right,” Pearl said.

There was a brief pause.

“Some might say dangerously hot ...” Pearl added with a small smirk.

Amethyst snorted with laughter.

“Yeah, you could say that,” Amethyst said.

Mom appeared confused. She glanced over at Connie, who shrugged.

“Sorry,” Pearl said, closing her eyes. “It’s something of an inside joke ...”

“Ah, I see,” Mom said.

Peridot placed more casserole in her mouth. Her awkward use of the fork caused several bits of food to dribble on her chin, but she didn’t seem to notice.

“Well, we _are_ inside ...” Peridot said off-handedly.

Mom chuckled at that.

“Cute pun,” she said.

“Pun?” Peridot said, confused. “What’s a pun?”

“Oh, um ... nevermind,” Mom said. She smiled. “So Peridot, I understand my daughter has been teaching you about Earth ...”

Peridot grinned.

“Yes. Connie has been an excellent teacher.” She made eye-contact with Connie. “I’m honestly not sure what I would have done without her lessons.”

Even as nervous as Connie felt, she still felt a warmness in her chest upon hearing that.

Mom gave Connie a gentle smile.

“I’m very proud to hear my daughter’s been so helpful to you, Peridot,” Mom said.

Connie blushed.

Mom turned her attention back to Peridot.

“How did my daughter end up teaching you, anyway?” Mom said. “I’m not sure if she’s ever mentioned how ...”

Peridot smiled brightly.

“Oh, that’s actually a humorous story!” Peridot said.

Connie paled.

_Oh god,_ Connie thought, _please don’t mention the impaling. Please don’t mention the impaling!_

“So when Steven first introduced me to Connie, she had her sword--” Peridot began.

Connie made eye-contact with Peridot and started shaking her head as subtly as she could manage, screaming inside her head.

Peridot’s eyes went wide. Mom was still focused on Peridot, unaware of Connie’s signal.

“And?” Mom asked after an awkward pause.

“Um ...” Peridot rubbed her temple. “A-and then I said, ‘Wow, that sword is quite impressive.’ And she said, um, ‘Yes, that is correct.’ And then I said, um, ‘Yes.’ And then we became friends.” Peridot looked down at the plate. “T-that’s the story.”

There was a brief awkward silence.

“Oh ...” Mom said. She appeared to be searching for the right thing to say. “I ... suppose that is a humorous story.”

Pearl chuckled and smiled.

“Well, I suppose you just had to be there,” Pearl said with a shrug.

Pearl’s eyes found Connie, then shifted to Steven. She said nothing, but she didn’t have to. Connie knew she was trying to gauge if they were ready to broach the subject. Connie wasn’t sure she was ready. Honestly, she didn’t know if she would _ever_ be ready, but she gave a small nod regardless.

Connie’s heart pounded in her chest. Peridot stared at her. For a moment, it appeared as if she was about to speak, but no words came out.

Pearl took a deep breath then turned her attention back to Mom.

“I’m glad you were able to come have dinner with us,” Pearl said. “I thought it was a nice cause of celebration for the happy couple.”

Steven shrunk down in his chair, his face turning red.

Underneath the table, Connie’s hand found his. He turned and smiled in response.

Mom took another bite of the casserole.

“Yes,” Mom said. “I have to admit they look quite good together.”

Amethyst snickered.

“I’d say so, yeah,” Amethyst said.

Mom frowned and raised an eyebrow.

“What?”

Pearl shook her head and smiled.

“No, it’s nothing, it’s just ... interesting you should put it that way,” Pearl said.

_This is it,_ Connie thought. She could feel her heart beating even faster. She squeezed Steven’s hand tighter; he squeezed hers in response.

Pearl nodded towards Connie.

“It’s a reassuring thing to hear,” Pearl said. “Isn’t it Connie?”

Mom looked from Pearl to Connie. Feeling her Mom’s eyes on her made her breath feel short.

Mom looked concerned.

“Connie, are you alright?” said Mom. “You’ve been really quiet.”

“No, I’m fine, I’m just--” Connie’s voice cracked.

“Connie, it’s okay,” Mom said gently. “I didn’t say anything to upset you, did I?”

“ _I said I’m fine_!” Connie said, raising her voice without meaning to. Mom flinched. For an instant, Connie was afraid she’d be angry, but instead Mom only stared in surprise.

“I mean ...” Connie started, before she abruptly stood from the table. “I--I’ll be right back!”

Pearl’s eyes were wide.

“Connie, what about--” Pearl started.

“I just need some air for a second, okay?!” Connie said, even more defensive.

Connie became self-conscious of everyone staring at her, and without another word, she walked out the front door. A rush of cold air hit her once she opened the door and stepped onto the porch. It took every ounce of energy for her to keep a stoic face.

She immediately felt guilty for acting this way, but it was impossible for her to relax. Her heart felt like a jackhammer. She clasped her hands to her face. She wanted to scream, but she knew that would just make everyone feel worse.

In the living room, she could just barely hear Steven speak.

“I-I’m gonna make sure she finds the ... air okay,” said Steven, not worried that that was the most unconvincing excuse in the history of everything.

The front door creaked open. Connie glanced back to see Steven step outside, quietly closing the door behind him. He frowned, his eyes glued to Connie.

“Connie, what’s wrong?” Steven asked. “I thought things were going pretty well.”

Connie sighed. She leaned against the handrail along the porch. She ran her hand down her face.

“I know,” Connie said. “I know, things have been going fine... okay, well, maybe there was a little hitch when Peridot almost mentioned that time I stabbed her, but still--”

“Connie, you didn’t stab her, that’s not what--”

“Well, that’s how I remember it and that’s how it would _sound_ to Mom anyway, so--” Connie flung her arms up. “Whatever, that’s not the point.”

“Connie, it’s okay,” said Steven. He put his hand on her shoulder; as nervous as Connie was, it still gave her goosebumps.

“Please,” Steven went on. “Just talk to me ...”

Connie exhaled.

“Okay ...” Connie said. “Yeah, things have been going fine ... but that’s ... that’s really not making it any easier to tell her this.”

“But your mom seems really cool about everything so far.”

“Yeah, I know, that’s the problem,” Connie said. “She’s been really wonderful about everything, she’s actually listening to what I have to say and actually likes the Gems and just--” She put her hands to her sides of her head. “What if telling her about Stevonnie just _ruins_ all of that?! What if she just freaks out, takes it the wrong way, and goes back to how she was before?!”

“Connie, calm down, it’s okay--”

“I-- I really like being able to tell my mom things now!” Connie said, her voice getting high-pitched. “I don’t _want_ to go back to the way things were! I like being able to tell her things! _I like that she likes you_! I just--”

“Connie!” Steven said. He reached up and touched Connie’s cheek. “It’s okay. This isn’t going to mess that up. I don’t think your mom is the type to react _that_ bad.”

“How can you be so sure?” Connie said. Her eyes stung.

“I just ... I dunno! I just figure if she’s your mom, she’s at least a little like you and I know you’d never act like that.”

Connie frowned. That didn’t calm Connie much. Growing up, Connie thought her and her mom couldn’t be more different. She realized they had more in common now than she used to believe, but still ... it was hard for Connie to forget how her mom had acted most of her life before the hospital incident.

“Connie,” Steven said. “Everything is going to be okay. I promise.”

“How? How can you promise everything is going to be okay?” Connie said.

Steven stammered.

“Because I-- I have you here and everything always ends up okay when we’re together!” he said.

Connie stared at him. Steven looked down, embarassed. Connie actually managed to smile.

“Why do you always find the sweetest things to say?” Connie said.

“Cause I’m Steven?” Steven said with a nervous shrug.

“Heh ... yeah ... I guess that’s why,” Connie said with a chuckle.

“You gonna be okay?” Steven asked.

“Yes.” She placed her hand on top of the hand Steven held to her cheek. “You’re right. Having you around does always make everything okay. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I love you,” Connie said.

Steven’s face turned beet red. It took a moment for Connie to realize she had _actually_ said that outloud. She immediately put her hand down.

“Oh, gosh, I’m sorry,” Connie stammered. “I didn’t-- I was really emotional, I didn’t mean to--”

“I love you too,” Steven said.

Connie’s eyes welled up. She felt like she wanted to smile and cry and scream all at the same time; instead, she wrapped her arms around Steven.

He hugged her back.

Connie had never felt closer to anyone else than she did in that moment. So much so, she barely noticed her and Steven start to glow. She closed her eyes--

* * *

\--and Stevonnie opened theirs.

Stevonnie glanced down at their hands, realizing they were back.

“ _AHHH_!” they yelped, before clasping their hands over their mouth.

_Oh wow, oh jeez, I didn’t mean for that to happen!_ Stevonnie thought to theirself. _I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!_

Stevonnie wondered which part of theirself was responsible for that thought, Connie or Steven. Honestly, it sounded like something both of them would say in that moment.

They looked down at theirself. Connie and Steven’s shoes laid on the ground nearby, no longer fitting their feet. They could feel Connie and Steven’s shirt clinging against their chest, Steven’s star shirt visible over Connie’s outfit. Their midriff was exposed, along with their pink gem. Steven and Connie’s jeans now looked like shorts on Stevonnie’s tall body.

Steven’s bowtie choked against their neck. It made it difficult to breathe, so Stevonnie yanked the bowtie off. They rubbed their neck.

“So much for looking formal ...” Stevonnie said.

It was hard for Stevonnie to describe how they felt, being back. They didn’t feel like they had ever ceased to be since they retained Steven and Connie’s memories. More than anything, it felt like waking from a long sleep.

They felt guilty because they knew this was _not_ the time for fusion. It was an accident, just like the last two times. They could feel Steven and Connie’s anxiety about the situation all too well ...

But they would be _lying_ if they said it didn’t feel good being back again.

But all those good feelings went out the window once the front door swung open.

Stevonnie looked up just in time to see Dr. Maheswaran walk out on the porch.

_Mom_.

Well ... one of their moms, anyway.

“Connie, is everything al--” Mom stopped when she saw Stevonnie. She stared in disbelief.

Stevonnie’s heart pounded. All they could do was stare back at Mom. They weren’t sure what to say. It was clear Mom didn’t recognize them. How _could_ she?

Mom screamed.

“ _HELP! THERE’S SOMEBODY OUT HERE_!” Mom shouted back through the door.

Stevonnie moved towards her. Mom recoiled.

“Mom, please, it’s alright--” Stevonnie started, before Mom cut her off.

“Who are you?! Where are the kids?!” Mom said, filled with terror.

Then Mom’s eyes darted to Stevonnie’s hand still holding Steven’s bowtie. Mom’s face went pale.

“ _Why are you wearing their clothes_?!” Mom said shakily.

Stevonnie then realized exactly how _terrifying_ this situation looked to anyone who _didn’t_ know they were a fusion of Connie and Steven.

_Oh god, this is bad. This is really bad. This is as bad as it could POSSIBLY be_ , they thought.

“Uh ...” Stevonnie said.

Before Stevonnie could even get a word out, Mom ran forward and grabbed them by the scruff of their shirt.

“ _WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY DAUGHTER_?!” Mom shouted, her face inches from Stevonnie’s.

The door swung open again as Pearl, Amethyst, and Peridot rushed out. Pearl held her spear in front of her, but dropped it once she saw Stevonnie. Amethyst put her hand to her mouth.

Peridot simply stared at Stevonnie. Her expression was hard to read, but unfortunately Stevonnie had other things to worry about right now.

Pearl allowed her spear to dissolve as she grabbed Mom’s shoulder.

“Dr. Maheswaran, stop!” Pearl said, but Mom wouldn’t let go.

Mom looked more furious than Stevonnie had ever seen before, even in Connie’s memories.

“ _This monster did something to the kids!”_ Mom said.

The sentence cut Stevonnie like a knife to the heart. They felt their body start to shake.

A monster. That’s what they looked like to Mom.

A monster.

“Dr. Maheswaran, they _are_ the kids!” Pearl shouted.

Mom looked at Pearl as if she was insane, shaking her head.

“What are you _talking_ about?” Mom shouted.

Stevonnie finally managed to speak. When they did, their voice noticeably sounded more like Connie. Deep inside theirself, they could feel Connie speaking through their mouth.

“Mom, it’s me!” Stevonnie said. “I’m your daughter--”

“ _YOU ARE NOT MY DAUGHTER_!” Mom screamed.

Stevonnie’s eyes went wide. They clenched their fist. Without realizing they were about to do it, Stevonnie’s gem began to glow as a pink bubble materialized around them. The force of its formation pushed Mom back. She staggered and fell against the porch.

Mom looked up and stared at the pink bubble. Her eyes fell to the Gem on their stomach. Her mouth was agape.

Stevonnie couldn’t stop theirself from trembling. Their eyes burned as tears began to trickle down their face.

She hadn’t recognized them.

They didn’t even look _human_ to her. They forced a sob down. The bubble around them disappeared.

Mom got to her feet, her eyes never leaving Stevonnie.

“Is that ... really you?” Mom said.

It took everything they had not to diffuse right then, but Stevonnie forced theirself not to.

Stevonnie didn’t want Mom see this “monster” turn back into Connie and Steven.

Unsure what else to do, Stevonnie turned and ran down the steps of the porch.

Stevonnie heard Mom shout “WAIT!”

“Wait, Stevonnie, come back!” Amethyst yelled.

Stevonnie glanced back to see Peridot and Pearl start after them, but they didn’t slow down.

Stevonnie kept running once they reached the bottom of the steps. Tears clung to their cheeks as their bare feet hit the sand.

They weren’t even sure where they were going. They just wanted to be as far away as possible.

Stevonnie could feel Steven and Connie’s turmoil inside theirself. Stevonnie wished they had never come into existence. If they hadn’t, Connie and Steven never would have seen Mom so angry at them, never would have had to go through this.

It was all Stevonnie’s fault.

And now they truly felt like a monster.

* * *

_This ... may not have gone optimally,_ Peridot thought once she was able to calm down enough to think.

It was a bit of a shock for Peridot to see Connie and Steven fused together, but not an unpleasant one. She was past the point where she would have found something wrong with it.

Honestly her immediate thought upon seeing the fusion was bemoaning the fact that there was now _another_ person on this planet taller than her.

They looked pretty good together, if Peridot was being honest.

Dr. Maheswaran’s response was ... somewhat different, from the looks of things. As soon as the fusion ran away, she panicked.

“What was that?!” Dr. Maheswaran asked. “How could that person use Steven’s bubble? Was that ... was that really them?!”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Pearl said, placing a gentle hand on Dr. Maheswaran’s shoulder. “Please calm down.”

But Dr. Maheswaran was shaking, still reeling from what had happened.

Peridot barely noticed as she looked down the steps, the fusion already out of sight. Peridot could tell they were very upset by Dr. Maheswaran’s reaction. She imagined the fusions sadness on both Steven and Connie’s faces ... and once she thought of that, she decided she wasn’t going to let them go through that alone.

But before she could start down the stair, Amethyst grabbed her wrist.

“Wait!” Amethyst said. “You should stay here.”

“What?!” Peridot said, turning towards Amethyst.

Amethyst glanced over to Dr. Maheswaran and sighed. The tone of her voice was serious.

“I think Pearl could use your help with Connie’s mom right now,” Amethyst said.

“But Connie and Steven--”

“I know, I know,” Amethyst said. “But _we’re_ not the ones who need to talk to them.” She nodded towards Dr. Maheswaran. “ _She_ is.”

Peridot frowned.

“I ... suppose that makes sense,” Peridot admitted. “But what about--”

“Don’t worry, I’ll go and just keep an eye on them, make sure they don’t run too far,” Amethyst.

Peridot blinked. She threw her hands over her head.

“Why are you the one making all these intelligent plans all of a sudden?!” Peridot said. “ _That should be my department_!”

Amethyst gave a sly smile.

“Aw, don’t worry, Peri.” Amethyst ruffled Peridot’s hair. She whispered in a sultry tone. “Even if you’re not the smart one anymore, I’ll _still_ like you for your body.”

Peridot felt her cheeks become hot. She could only stammer nonsense in response.

Amethyst smiled, pleased with herself.

“But seriously,” Amethyst said, dropping her smile, “it’ll be alright. You should help Pearl. You’re kinda better at talking to people than she is.”

Peridot was _astonished_ Amethyst said that.

“Are you _insane_?!” Peridot said. “I’m not--”

“No, you’re totally good at it. And, you know, not just in comparison to Pearl.”

Peridot folded her arms. Her cheeks turned a faint blue.

“Come on, you calmed Connie down earlier,” Amethyst said. “And you talk to Steven and Connie all the time. You’re better at this than you think you are. You got this, Peri.”

Peridot smiled despite herself.

“I’ll ... try,” Peridot said.

To Peridot’s surprise, Amethyst leaned forward and kissed the Gem on Peridot’s forehead. It sent a chill down Peridot’s entire physical form.

“That’s my girl,” Amethyst said.

Peridot’s mouth hung open. Amethyst just grinned.

“Now hang on, I’ll be right back,” Amethyst said. “I’ll find the kids.”

Amethyst lept into the air as her Gem began to glow. Her physical form was engulfed in white light. In an instant, she had shifted into a purple bird and started to flap her wings into the distance.

Peridot glanced over at Pearl and Dr. Maheswaran. The doctor was staring at Amethyst as she flew out of sight.

“Did ... did Amethyst just turn into a bird?” Dr. Maheswaran said.

“Yes, but that’s not important right now,” Pearl said casually.

Peridot approached them. When Pearl noticed Peridot, she leaned in close.

“I’ve been trying to explain things,” Pearl whispered. “I think she’s still reeling from the whole thing.” She caught eyes with Peridot. “Is Amethyst going to look for Stevonnie?”

Peridot nodded.

“Okay. Good,” Pearl said. She sighed. “This isn't how I'd hoped we’d have to do this ...”

“I know,” Peridot said.

They turned their attention to Dr. Maheswaran. She rubbed her temple. Her eyes stared ahead, unfocused on anything specific.

“So ... that person was Connie and Steven?” Dr. Maheswaran said.

Pearl nodded.

“Yes, fused together,” Pearl said. “Just like how the other Gems and I fused to form Alexandrite when we first met.”

Dr. Maheswaran gave a short nod.

“I-- I had no idea, I just-- I didn’t know you could do that with humans,” she said.

Pearl gave a sad smile.

“Well ... neither did we,” Pearl said with a chuckle.

Dr. Maheswaran didn’t laugh back.

Peridot tried to think of something helpful to say. The distant look on Dr. Maheswaran’s face tugged at something inside Peridot. That look of desperation, of not understanding anything around her ...

It reminded Peridot too much of herself.

“It’s safe,” Peridot said.

Dr. Maheswaran looked at Peridot, her brow furrowed.

“If you were ... concerned about that,” Peridot said. “The process isn't dangerous.”

Dr. Maheswaran’s expression didn’t change. She only gave a small nod.

“Yes, that’s right!” Pearl said with a reassuring smile. “It’s entirely safe. There’s nothing wrong about it at all. It’s the ultimate connection between Gems who truly care about each other.”

This was an _extraordinarily_ different definition of fusion than Peridot had been taught, but she did not contradict Pearl. In truth, she prefered Pearl’s explanation than the one she had heard her entire life.

“Ultimate connection?” Dr. Maheswaran said, confused.

“Yes, it’s ... essentially giving all of yourself to another to--”

Dr. Maheswaran glared.

“Are you saying my daughter’s been doing the alien equivalent of--” Dr. Maheswaran started.

Pearl  waved her hands in front of her face, stammering.

“N-no, not at all! It’s-- no, I promise it’s nothing like ...” Pearl blushed. “Like what you’re probably thinking. It’s innocent! The truth is there really isn’t a direct equivalent to it for humans. It’s ... essentially becoming a different person with someone else.” Pearl frowned. “Does ... does that make any sense to you?”

Dr. Maheswaran frowned.

“No ...” Dr. Maheswaran said. “It doesn’t. The only thing I _do_ understand... “ Her expression softened, her voice quivering as she spoke. “... is that I basically called my daughter a monster ...”

Dr. Maheswaran walked away from the two Gems to the top step of the porch and sat down. She put her face in her hands.

Pearl looked on sadly. She put her hand to her mouth.

“I ... I don’t know what else to say,” Pearl whispered to Peridot.

Peridot looked at the doctor. Without even planning to do so, Peridot stepped forward and sat next to Dr. Maheswaran on the steps. Connie’s mother did not look up.

“It’s ... stressful being surrounded by things you don’t understand, isn’t it?” Peridot said.

Dr. Maheswaran put her hands down. Her eyes were red, but Peridot saw no tears.

“You know ...” Dr. Maheswaran said quietly. “When I was Connie’s age, I thought one day when I got older, I would just know _everything_. I would just understand the world and have all the answers, just like how I thought _my_ mother did.” She shook her head. “And that’s not what it’s like at all. And now this ... I can’t even get my head around what's happening and I’ve hurt my daughter because of it. What kind of mother would call her child a thing like that?”

She hung her head down.

“I ... I don’t know what I would even say to her now ...” she said.

When Peridot had first seen Dr. Maheswaran, she had compared the doctor to a Diamond, strong and commanding respect. But now she looked so vulnerable and nervous ...

Despite herself, Peridot chuckled.

Dr. Maheswaran glared.

“What’s so funny?” she asked.

“I’m sorry,” Peridot said, stopping herself. “It’s simply ... you sound a lot like Connie.”

“What?”

“Earlier today she was saying things quite similar to what you’re saying now. I ...” Peridot shrugged. “There’s a lot about human behavior I don’t fully grasp ... but I think she worries as much as you do.” Peridot looked in Dr. Maheswaran’s eyes. “I think that she would ... understand how you felt. She would forgive you if you said you were sorry.”

Dr. Maheswaran blinked, then gave a sad smile.

“You know, I think you’re probably right,” Dr. Maheswaran said. “She’s a sweet girl ... much kinder than I was at that age.” She glanced down at the ground. “I’m just not so sure if I’ll be able to forgive _myself_.”

Peridot heard footsteps. She turned and saw Pearl walk up to Dr. Maheswaran, a nervous frown on her face.

“We’ve ... all done things we regret, Dr. Maheswaran,” Pearl said. “At least you’re trying.”

“Yes,” Peridot said. “Connie even said you’ve been trying and doing an optimal job.”

Dr. Maheswaran was surprised.

“She said that?” the doctor asked.

Pearl and Peridot nodded.

Dr. Maheswaran sighed.

“I’m glad she knows that,” Dr. Maheswaran said. “I’m so proud of her. I ... I just want to tell her I’m sorry. I want to understand this.”

“I can relate to that feeling,” Peridot said. “I’m certain you will if you keep trying.”

To Peridot’s surprise, Dr. Maheswaran smiled.

“Thank you,” Dr. Maheswaran said. She looked from Peridot to Pearl. “You know, you’re both very good people.”

Peridot raised an eyebrow.

“‘People?’” said Peridot.

“Well ... Gems, I mean,” Dr. Maheswaran said.

“Oh ...” Peridot thought about everything she had just said, how ... optimistic she sounded. It was unlike anything she would have said before. She couldn’t say she felt like a good Gem. She couldn’t considering what she’d done in the past ...

But she certainly felt _different_ now.

She gave a hesitant smile.

“Thank you for that, Dr. Maheswaran,” Peridot said.

Dr. Maheswaran smiled back.

“Please ... call me Priyanka,” she said.

There was a fluttering of wings as Amethyst swooped from above, still in bird form. She perched on Pearl’s shoulder, who was visibly caught off-guard.

“Okay, they’re fine,” Amethyst said. She pointed with her wing. “I saw Stevonnie sitting by the beach that way. ”

Priyanka nodded and stood up.

“Do you want us to come with--” Pearl started, but Priyanka cut her off.

“No. Thank you, but ...” Priyanka clutched her own arms. “This is something I need to do myself.”

Pearl appeared uneasy for a split second, then nodded.

“Alright,” Pearl said. “I can respect that.”

Priyanka turned and gave another smile to Peridot.

“Thank you again for all your help,” Priyanka said. She walked down the steps.

The purple bird looked at Peridot and curved its beak in a way resembling a smile.

“So ... was I right or was I right?” Amethyst said.

Peridot blushed. She couldn’t argue with Amethyst. Despite Peridot’s reservations, she actually was better at this “social interaction” thing than she thought.

Pearl reached out and gently touched Peridot’s shoulder. She did not instantly recoil how she did before when anyone touched her.

“We’re so proud of you,” Pearl said.

Peridot looked away, feeling her blush intensify. She was not used to this level of praise.

The purple bird on Pearl’s shoulder gazed as Priyanka reached the bottom of the steps and stepped onto the sand. She twisted her head back to Pearl’s ear.

“Sooooo we’re totally still going to follow her, right?” Amethyst said.

“Oh, of course,” said Pearl.

* * *

Stevonnie sat on the beach, their arms wrapped around their knees. Their eyes welled up, but they didn’t allow theirself to cry anymore.

They should be better than this, Stevonnie told theirself. They shouldn’t have to put Connie and Steven through any more pain.

Stevonnie watched the tide rise and fall as waves crashed against the sand. The moonlight shimmered against the water. It was a beautiful scene. It was the kind of place Steven and Connie should be happy together.

Well ... if they were together and not Stevonnie.

Stevonnie frowned. They rubbed their eyes. They tried to ignore the sadness they felt that was almost certainly from both Steven and Connie. Sadness and loneliness.

Stevonnie gave a bitter laugh.

“It always seems like we end up feeling alone when I’m around, doesn’t it?” Stevonnie whispered. “Kind of ironic. I’m ... sorry you two have to put up with me.”

If Steven and Connie were there right now, they’d be telling Stevonnie they were being ridiculous for thinking that. They’d insist they enjoyed being Stevonnie. Stevonnie could almost hear the words coming from their mouths.

But it didn’t change how Stevonnie felt. They hung their head low.

A moment later, Stevonnie heard the crunch of footsteps against the sand. They twisted around to see Mom standing there, her eyes wide.

Stevonnie could only stare at Mom as she shifted her foot awkwardly in the sand.

“Um ... hi,” Mom said. Her voice was shaky and nervous, completely unlike how she sounded normally.

Stevonnie twisted their head back around, gazing back at the water.

“Hello, _doctor_ ,” Stevonnie said, wincing at the bitterness in their own voice. They hadn’t meant to sound that harsh, but seeing Mom just made her words echo in their head all over again.

_You’re not my daughter._

To Stevonnie’s surprise, Mom crouched down next to them. Her eyes were fixed on Stevonnie. She sighed.

“I ... suppose I deserve that,” Mom said, frowning. “Listen, Connie--”

“It’s Stevonnie.”

Mom paused.

“Right ... Stevonnie,” Mom said. She ran her hand nervously through her hair. “Sorry. I’m still getting used to this.”

Mom closed her eyes and took a breath.

“I’m ... sorry for before. I really am,” Mom said. She leaned in closer to Stevonnie. “I--I had no idea what had happened. I just ... I had no idea who you were and I saw the kids clothes and-- I just thought something _terrible_ had happened! I--” Mom lowered her voice. “I ... I never would have said those things if I knew you were them.”

Stevonnie clutched their knees. They couldn’t bear to look directly at Mom. Knowing they had made her panic just made it even harder.

“I guess I can understand how scary that must have been,” Stevonnie said.

“Yes,” Mom said.

Stevonnie frowned.

“It ... still hurt us, you know,” Stevonnie said.

Mom bit her lip and nodded slowly.

“I know ... and I’m so sorry, Con-- Stevonnie.” Mom gazed into the sea along with Stevonnie. “I know I haven’t been a very good mother today ...”

Somewhere inside Stevonnie, they felt Connie turn Stevonnie’s head to finally look at Mom. They could see a tear trickle from her eye. The vulnerability in her face reminded Stevonnie of theirself.

“Don’t say that,” Stevonnie heard theirself say. “You’re a great mom! You’ve been doing such a great job! That’s why I--”

Stevonnie paused, only then realizing Connie was speaking through their mouth. Not that Stevonnie minded; it was just an odd feeling to have part of their mind take over their body for a second. They continued.

“That’s why _Connie_ was so worried,” Stevonnie went on. “S-she didn’t want to mess up how awesome you’ve become and how cool you’ve been about Steven by mentioning ... well ...” Stevonnie shrunk their head down. “Me.”

Stevonnie lowered their voice.

“She just ... she just didn’t want to disappoint you.”

Mom looked straight at Stevonnie, wiping the tear from her cheek.

“That’s ridiculous,” Mom said. “I would never feel that way. No matter what happens, Connie is my daughter and I’ll always be proud of her. I care about her.”

Mom hesitated, then touched Stevonnie’s shoulder.

“I care about _you_ ,” Mom said.

Stevonnie caught eyes with their mother.

“You really mean that?” Stevonnie said.

Mom gave a weak smile.

“Of course,” Mom said. She paused. “And I ... I really do want to understand this. I did have some questions though, i-if that was alright.”

“That’s fair,” Stevonnie said.

“And if I say anything over the line, don’t be afraid to tell me.”

“Alright,” said Stevonnie with a laugh. They smiled. It felt good knowing Mom was going to such effort to relate to them.

Mom clasped her hands together.

“Okay ...” Mom said. “This fusion thing ... it doesn’t hurt Connie, does it?”

“No, not at all,” Stevonnie said.

“Does it hurt _Steven_?”

“No.”

Mom got silent for a moment. She cleared her throat.

“Y-you can’t get pregnant from it, right?” she said.

“ _ **MOTHER**_!” Stevonnie shouted, their voice cracking to the point where they sounded exactly like Connie. Their cheeks turned a deep shade of red.

“I felt like that was a legitimate question.” Mom’s cheeks flushed. “So you’re sure you can’t--”

“ _NO_! OH MY _GOD_!”

“Okay ... okay,” Mom said. “I just needed to hear that ...” She grimaced. “Oh god, is Steven going to remember I said that?”

“I don’t think _anyone_ is ever going to forget you said that!” Stevonnie said.

“ _I’m sorry!_ ” Mom said. “Okay ... okay, new question.” She straightened up. “How does Connie feel about doing this? Is she ... _comfortable_ with it?”

Stevonnie considered for a moment.

“It’s ... kind of hard to say,” Stevonnie said, conscious of Connie speaking through them once again. “Every time we’ve done this, it’s been kind of an accident. And it feels good but ... sometimes it feels a little lonely.” Stevonnie gave a weak smile. “I don’t think either of them are ready to be me for a really long time or anything. It’s a hard thing to get used to. I don’t think they’d feel quite the same way about it Garnet does.”

“Wait, Garnet? What does--”

“Long story,” Stevonnie said.

Mom appeared perplexed, but nodded as if she understood anyway.

“I see,” Mom said. “Thank you for answering my questions, Stevonnie.”

Stevonnie smiled nervously.

“Actually, I had a question for you,” Stevonnie said.

“What is it?” Mom said.

“So um ...” Stevonnie hugged their shoulders. “I know I’m not Connie, but ... are you okay with me still calling you Mom?”

Mom stared at Stevonnie. Stevonnie put their hands up.

“B-because if you’d prefer I call you something else, that’s totally okay,” Stevonnie said. “I understand this is a little weird, so if you want me to--”

Before Stevonnie could react, Mom wrapped her arms around Stevonnie. They could hear their mom sniff.

“You can _always_ call me Mom,” she said, overcome with emotion.

Stevonnie couldn’t help but smile as Mom held them ...

Inside their head, Stevonnie heard a voice that was unmistakably Connie’s.

_Hey, this isn’t weird for you or anything, is--_

A voice like Steven’s popped in their head in response.

_No. No... I-It feels kind of nice, actually ..._

Stevonnie sighed. Poor kid. Stevonnie didn’t want to bring his feelings about _his_ mom to the surface with this.

Connie didn’t either.

“Thanks for this ... Mom,” Stevonnie said. They felt theirself glow white. They looked at their body. They tried to hold it together, but they could feel theirself become unwound.

Mom recoiled, her eyes going wide.

“Is everything alright?! Stevonnie, are you--”

Stevonnie smiled.

“I’m fine ...” they said. “I just think it’s time to let Steven and Connie be themselves again.”

Mom put her hand to her mouth. To Stevonnie’s surprise, she almost seemed sad.

Stevonnie shook their head. They glowed even brighter.

“Hey, don’t be sad,” they said. “I never really go away, you know ...” They forced a big smile, the kind Steven would flash. “Maybe next time I’m around, we can go buy some clothes that _actually_ fit.”

Mom gave a sad smile. Stevonnie wasn’t quite sure, but they thought they could see tears in her eyes.

“Stevonnie ...” Mom whispered.

Stevonnie was engulfed in light now, but they were still entwined enough for them to say, “Yes?”

“It was ... it was nice to meet you,” Mom said.

Before Stevonnie felt theirself separate, they smiled and crossed their arms in the shape of an X, just like Mom had done earlier. Mom chuckled when she saw the gesture and returned it.

“You too, Mom ...” Stevonnie said.

Stevonnie closed their eyes.

_You too._

* * *

A moment later, Connie was lying on the beach sand. She clutched her head. Her eyes popped open.

“Steven!” she shouted immediately.

She looked to her right to see Steven sitting up. She crawled closer to him. He shook his head and smiled at her.

“Boy ... that was some hug, huh?” Steven said.

Connie snorted with laughter.

“I guess so, yeah,” she said, chuckling.

As the world slowly came back into focus, she remembered everything that had happened.

Mom!

She turned and look to see Mom staring at them. She wiped a tear from her eyes, but she was smiling.

Connie could think of nothing to say at the moment. Everything Stevonnie had said covered most of the concerns she kept inside. But she felt like she had to say _something_ to her Mom.

“Mom, I--”

That was all Connie got out before her mother walked over and put a hand on her shoulder.

“It’s okay, Connie,” Mom said. “I think I get it now ...”

Connie glanced down at the ground.

“I’m really sorry, I--”

“It’s fine,” Mom said. “Thank you for showing me this. I’m proud of you.” She glanced over to Steven, who was standing a few feet away. “Both of you.”

Steven’s cheeks flushed red as he coughed awkwardly.

Connie smiled at her mom.

A moment later, Connie heard a familiar voice yell “ _Awwwww_!”

Connie looked past her mom to see a large, conspicuous purple rock suddenly on the beach.

Steven caught eyes with the rock.

“ _AMETHYST_!” Steven yelled.

“Ugh!” The rock glowed white for a fraction of a second and shrunk into Amethyst’s normal shape. Once she did, Pearl and Peridot were revealed to be standing directly behind her, looking guilty.

Amethyst turned to Pearl.

“See, I told you I should have turned into a lighthouse instead. That’s way less suspicious,” Amethyst said.

“Oh, a _three-hundred foot_ lighthouse would have been less noticeable?” Pearl said, indignant. “They don’t just spring up overnight, you know!”

Pearl glanced over and remembered that Connie, Steven, and Connie’s Mom were all staring at them. She grimaced and laughed nervously.

“Oh um ...” Pearl said. “We can explain.” She smiled. She bumped Peridot with her elbow. “Peridot, explain.”

“We were spying on your private conversation,” Peridot said.

“I MEANT _LIE_ , PERIDOT!” Pearl shouted.

“Oh ...” Peridot thought for a moment. “We were um ... not doing that.”

Amethyst clutched her hand to her mouth, trying not to laugh.

“Yep, totally checks out,” Amethyst said, snickering.

To Connie’s surprise, Mom snorted. She pursed her lips together, stifling the laugh for just a moment before laughing fully. Connie couldn’t remember a time when Mom had laughed as hard.

“This was ... this was an interesting dinner,” Mom said between breaths.

Amethyst and Pearl approached them. Peridot followed closely behind, her hands fidgeting as she gazed out at the water.

Immediately, Steven stepped in front of Pearl. He furrowed his brow, then reached out and wrapped his arms around Pearl’s legs.

“Thanks for the help, Pearl ...” Steven whispered.

Connie glanced at her mom, then back to Steven. She had known how he felt when they were Stevonnie, when they had hugged Mom. She didn’t want to force him to talk about it, but she knew the events were related.

Pearl was startled for just a moment, then she smiled.

“T-thank you,” Pearl said. Her voice was shaky as she gently touched the top of his head. She let it linger for a few seconds before she cleared her throat. “But really, you should be thanking Amethyst and Peridot. They helped way more than I did.” Pearl shifted her eyes to Peridot.

“Especially Peridot. She was the one who really took the initiative to speak to Connie’s mother after you two left ...”

Steven smiled at Peridot as he unwrapped his arms from Pearl’s legs.

“Thanks, Peridot,” Steven said.

Peridot smiled awkwardly as Amethyst ruffled her hair.

“Yeah! Homegirl really outdid herself this time!” Amethyst said with a laugh. “I always said she was way better at this talking thing than she thought! She’s _always_ really good at helping people!”

“Y-yeah,” Peridot said, quietly. “Sure.”

Connie narrowed her eyes as she looked at Peridot. To her shock, Peridot didn’t look alright at all, even with Amethyst touching her. She was smiling uneasily and the look in her eyes made it seem like she was miles away. Connie frowned.

No one else seemed to notice.

“Well, I suppose we should head back,” Mom said. “It is a school night, after all.”

“Oh um ... yes,” Connie said. “Right behind you ...”

Mom, Steven, and the other Gems started walking away, but Connie lingered. So did Peridot.

Peridot wasn’t looking at Connie. She was staring out at the ocean.

Connie approached Peridot. Peridot still didn’t look at her. In fact she hardly seemed to notice Connie was there.

Connie could hardly hear it, but under Peridot’s breath, she muttered, “Not good enough ...”

“Peridot ...” Connie asked. “Is everything ... okay?”

Peridot flicked her eyes over at Connie, then back at the water.

Then Connie remembered who was _under_ the water ... who Peridot was probably thinking about.

“It’s nothing,” Peridot insisted. “Nothing at all ...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT TIME: NO MORE SCREWING AROUND!  
> FLASHBACK! HOMEWORLD! YELLOW PEARL! ACTION! BETRAYAL! REVELATIONS!  
> JASPER AND LAPIS!  
> The Season Finale Arc: “The Gem I Used to Be”
> 
> (And nowhere will things become more clearly an alternate continuity than this next one, folks...)


	7. The Gem I Used to Be pt. 1

Connie heard Steven yelling as soon as she entered his house.

“Peridot!” Steven shouted. “ _PERIDOT_!”

Connie clutched the sci-fi books she’d brought for Peridot to her chest. She peered down the hallway and saw Steven knocking on the bathroom door.

Steven turned and noticed Connie. He gave a weak smile, but Connie was too concerned to return it.

“Steven, what’s wrong?” Connie asked.

Steven frowned.

“It’s Peridot,” Steven said. “She’s not answering the door.” Steven knocked on the door again. “Come on, Peridot! I’m starting to get worried ... and also I really have to pee!”

Connie’s shoulders tensed up. Connie had been worried about Peridot ever since her odd behavior after the Stevonnie drama last night. The way Peridot got so quiet and stared out at the ocean ... it wasn’t like her at all.

“Are you sure she’s in there?” Connie asked.

“Well, she wasn’t anywhere else in the house,” Steven said. “And she normally keeps to herself when she’s not with us or Amethyst ...” Steven’s eyes went wide. “Oh ... of course!”

He screamed into the air so loud it made Connie cover her ears.

“ _AMETHYST_!”

There were sounds of hurried footsteps as Amethyst ran down the hall. She stopped in front of Steven, almost in a state of panic.

“Steven! What’s wrong?!” Amethyst said.

“Peridot’s not with you, is she?” Steven said.

Amethyst seemed to relax when she saw there was no danger. She raised an eyebrow.

“Nooooo,” Amethyst said, confused. “You mean she’s not in the bathroom?”

“Well, she’s not answering the door ...” Steven said.

“We’re really worried,” Connie said. “I hope she’s not like ... upset or crying in there or something ...”

“Who, Peri?” Amethyst said. She snorted. “ _Nah_!”

Amethyst walked up to the bathroom door, looking it up and down.

“This is nothing,” Amethyst said. “ _I’ll_ get her to open the door. Watch this.”

Amethyst cleared her throat.

“Just need to get into character ...” Amethyst whispered, rubbing her hands together.

Connie glanced over at Steven, who could only shrugged.

Before either of them could ask Amethyst what she was doing, she pounded at the door.

“ _PERIDOT_!” she shouted in an overly-dramatic swooning voice. “ _PERIDOT, I CANNOT DENY MY LOVE ANY LONGER!”_

She scratched against the door and dragged herself down the floor, making goo-goo eyes.

“ _I CAN’T HELP IT! THE WAY YOU SPEAK, THE WAY YOU WALK, THE WAY YOU CALL EVERYONE A CLOD, IT’S STOLEN THE HEART I BIOLOGICALLY DON’T HAVE!”_

Amethyst pounded against the door again.

“ _PLEASE, MY LOVE FOR YOU BURNS LIKE A--”_ Amethyst's eyes darted back and forth as she obviously searched for the right word. “Um ... a big burny thing or whatever ...”

She raised her voice again. She closed her eyes, went down on her knees, and stuck her chest out.

“ _COME AND RAVISH ME WITH YOUR AFFECTION_!” Amethyst shouted.

Connie could only stare in stunned silence. Steven looked wide-eyed.

“Wow ... you should really consider doing theater with Jamie ...” Steven said, impressed.

Amethyst opened one eye. She appeared concerned.

“She ... she didn’t answer _that_?” Amethyst said.

“I, um, I guess not,” Connie said.

Amethyst shot to her feet, terrified.

“OH MY GOD, SHE MUST BE DEAD!” Amethyst said.

“ _What_?!” Steven said.

“WHY ELSE WOULDN’T SHE ANSWER THAT?! I MEAN _JUST LOOK AT ALL THIS_!” Amethyst said, gesturing to herself. “I’M BREAKING THE DOOR DOWN!”

“Wait, Amethyst, the door--”

Amethyst crashed into the door. It flew open with a loud crack, leaving wooden splinters against the latch. She fell against the bathroom.

Steven frowned sheepishly.

“... I was gonna say the door wasn’t locked,” Steven said.

Connie glanced at Steven.

“Wait, why didn’t you just walk in?” Connie said.

Steven’s eyes widened.

“Just walk in the bathroom without knocking?” Steven said. He put his hand on his hip. “ _Rude_.”

Connie looked in the bathroom and gasped in surprise. Last time Connie had been in the bathroom, it was still trashed from the ... _unpleasantness_ with Rose’s sword. But now the room looked spotless. The shattered mirror and shower curtain were gone. The painting Vidalia had painted of Peridot was in the spot the mirror once was.

But Peridot was not there.

Amethyst got up from the floor.

“Where’d she go?!” Amethyst said.

Before Connie could reply, she heard someone approach behind her.

“Well, you could have just asked me ...”

Connie turned to see Pearl standing there, holding an intact shower curtain.

“Pearl!” Steven said, his voice quivering. “Where’s Peridot?”

“Is she okay?” Amethyst said. “Is something--”

“Both of you, relax,” Pearl said. “Peridot is _fine_. I asked her to take a walk so I could have time to fix up her bathroom.” She closed her eyes. “It was the least I can do after all her help last night.”

“Hey, wait a minute,” Amethyst said, glaring. “Why didn’t you tell Steven and me this when we were yelling at the door?”

Pearl rolled her eyes.

“I was out getting _this_ with Greg,” Pearl said, holding the shower curtain up. “I just got back a moment ago.” She nodded her head towards Amethyst. “Around the time _you_ were making a spectacle of yourself.”

Amethyst rolled her eyes.

“Okay, well, there’s no time for me to criticize you for not being able to handle my _sick feminine wiles_ right now--”

Pearl blinked.

“Sick femini--”

“ _Where is Peridot now_?!” Amethyst yelled.

Pearl sighed.

“Like I said, she went out for a walk,” Pearl said. “I’m not sure where. I don’t see what the big problem is.”

Connie bit her lip and spoke up.

“Pearl, did ... did Peridot seem okay when you talked to her?” Connie said.

Pearl opened her mouth to speak, but hesitated.

“Now that you mention it ...” Pearl said slowly. “She did seem a little more ... distracted than usual. She didn’t want to talk much. The only thing she asked about was if Garnet was back yet.”

Connie’s eyes darted to Steven. It was clear by the distressed look on his face he suspected the same thing Connie did. Considering Garnet was out looking for Malachite, it wasn't hard to figure out _why_ Peridot was anxious to know if Garnet was back.

Pearl frowned.

“Oh dear ... do you think she’s alright?” Pearl said.

“I’m not sure,” Connie said, clutching her books to her chest. “Some of the stuff she said last night has me a little worried.”

Amethyst clutched one of her elbows, rubbing it nervously.

Steven looked up at the ceiling, his brow furrowed.

“I just wish we could figure out where she went,” Steven said. “She doesn’t really leave the house much so I’m not even sure where she’d go ...”

“Yeah, I--” Connie stopped. “Wait ... of course ...”

“What?” Steven and Amethyst both said.

“I think I know _exactly_ where she is,” Connie said.

* * *

Peridot sat on the beach, staring into the water, trying to convince herself she wasn’t feeling guilty.

Which of course she _was_.

She gripped her tape recorder, clicked the record button, and spoke into it.

“Log date ...” Peridot started. “Um ... like Augusta or something. Earth’s measurement of date and time makes no sense. I’m at the beach and I find myself feeling very ...”

Peridot stopped the recording and wound it back. After a sigh, she started it again.

_Let’s try that again_ , she thought.

“Log Date: Doesn’t matter,” Peridot said. “I’ve been performing some introspection on my past actions and ... ugh!”

Peridot stopped the tape and threw the tape recorder to her side.

“Forget it ...” Peridot said. She put her hand to her forehead.

Her eyes were once again drawn to the sea.

“You’re thinking about them, aren’t you?”

Peridot turned and saw Connie standing behind her. Next to her was Steven, who held Connie’s hand with interlaced fingers, and Amethyst. Amethyst said nothing; she just stared at Peridot.

They were all concerned. That was clear. Honestly that made Peridot feel even worse. She didn’t feel like she was _worth_ feeling bad over.

“I-- I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Peridot lied, but it sounded feeble even to her.

“Peridot,” Steven said, “I mean, if you don’t feel like talking about it--”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Peridot said.

“Peri, it’s okay, we’re just worried about you,” Amethyst said in a gentle voice. The fact it was so different from how she usually sounded just made Peridot feel even _more_ alienated.

“Well, you’re just ... you’re all overreacting, okay?!” Peridot realized she was yelling and possibly hurting their feelings, but somehow couldn’t stop. “I’m just ... I felt like sitting here! There’s nothing _abnormal_ about that!”

Peridot gestured towards the ocean.

“I mean, just because I’m sitting alone on a beach staring at the ocean where _two Gems I’m directly responsible for bringing here are trapped in unspeakable torment doesn’t--_ ”

Peridot’s voice cracked. She felt a lump form in her throat that made her have to stop and take a breath before she could finish.

“It doesn’t mean I’m upset about anything ...” Peridot said weakly.

She stared at the ocean, unwilling to look at her friends. Without any preamble, they all sat down with her, Connie and Steven on her left, Amethyst on her right.

Amethyst laid a hand on Peridot’s lap. Peridot didn’t even have the energy to feel excited about that like normal.

“Peridot,” Connie said, “what happened to Jasper and Lapis wasn’t your fault ...”

“Yeah,” Steven said. “Lapis formed Malachite to trap Jasper and keep us safe--”

“Which was kinda stupid since we all could have just ganged up on Jasper and beat her up in like five seconds without any sacrifice ...” Amethyst muttered.

To Peridot’s surprise, Steven shot Amethyst a harsh look.

Amethyst frowned, unable to maintain eye contact with Steven.

“Um ... sorry. Bad time to bring that up ...” she said.

Steven sighed.

“Well, Lapis has made some ... mistakes,” Steven glanced at Connie. “I ... still have a hard time thinking about the time she fought us and almost hurt Connie ...”

“Yeah ... that was scary,” Connie said.

“But ...” Steven said. “Even though she’s messed up before, I know she really is a good Gem who cares ...”

Peridot narrowed her eyes.

“Maybe she _used_ to ...” Peridot whispered to herself.

Apparently that was loud enough for Steven to hear because his eyes drifted to Peridot.

“What do you mean?” Steven asked.

“It’s--” Peridot cursed herself for saying anything. Sometimes she wished she could keep her communication orifice shut. Peridot rubbed her eyes underneath her visor. “It’s a very long story.”

To her surprise, Connie reached over and touched her hand.

“Well ... we’ve got time,” Connie said, smiling at Peridot. “Maybe talking about it will make you feel a little better.”

Peridot shook her head.

“I’m ... I’m not so sure ...” Peridot said.

Amethyst rubbed Peridot’s leg. When Peridot turned to her, her eyes were wide.

“Look, Peri ...” Amethyst said. “I-if you don’t want to talk about this, I’ll understand but ...” Her cheeks flushed and her eyes became glued to the ground. “I just want you to know bottling things up inside for too long won’t help. It’ll just make it so eventually you can’t take it anymore and you just explode! And that’s not good for anyone. Just ...”

Amethyst traced her finger in the sand.

“Just trust me. I know from experience,” she whispered.

Peridot blinked. She had no idea what event Amethyst was referring to, but seeing Amethyst let her guard down like that ... it was impossible for Peridot to ignore her advice.

Peridot sighed and leaned back against the sand.

“Okay ...” Peridot said. She glanced over at Steven and Connie. “But ... I have to warn you ...” Peridot looked down, ashamed. “After you hear this, you may think less of me ...”

Connie only stared at Peridot and shook her head.

“Peridot ... what you did before doesn’t change who you are now,” Connie said.

“Yeah,” Steven said. “We won’t think less of you.”

Amethyst gave a weak smile.

“No matter what, we’ll still think you’re the same huge dork you are right now,” Amethyst said.

Peridot, as guilty as she felt, somehow managed to return the smile.

“I ... well, I’m not sure if I believe that,” Peridot said, “but I hope you’re right.”

Peridot took a deep breath. She wasn’t sure where to start. She’d never endeavored to tell a story before, unless she counted her reports and her logs.

“Well ... I suppose I should begin when I first met the Lazuli.” Peridot pointed to Steven. “It actually wasn’t long after I first saw you remotely at the Prime Kindergarten.”

“Really?” Steven said.

“Yes ...” Peridot said. “Shortly after that ...” She coughed. “Well, one could say I was feeling _slightly_ stressed ...”

* * *

* * *

The universe hated Peridot.

That was pretty much her assessment of the situation.

She had always believed the universe was conspiring against her but the string of misfortunes surrounding her life recently made her more certain. There was no other explanation.

The touch stumps of her limb enhancers floated around her as she paced back and forth along the floor of her Work Cube. She nearly knocked over her chair doing so, but she hardly cared. Even turning on the Work Cube’s speaker to play some white noise, which Peridot used to find soothing, didn’t help.

She wished her Work Cube had more in it than just a Warp Pad, a chair, two walls, and a speaker just so she’d have something to throw. That’s how angry she felt. She found herself like this more and more lately, pacing and muttering about how incredibly _insane_ this assignment had become.

She had no clue what she did to deserve this. The assignment had sounded so simple: write a report on the progress of the Cluster project on Yellow Diamond Planet 247, known locally as Earth. And it hadn’t _started_ bad, certainly.

Until, you know, it turned out the planet had Gem-murdering rebels infesting it.

She found herself replaying the entire sequence of events all over again, just to grasp how she'd gotten to this point. Every single little detail ...

* * *

_Access data on status of the Cluster from the Prime Kindergarten remotely._

Didn’t work.

_Alright, no matter, use the Warp Network to get to the Prime Kindergarten directly._

Didn’t work.

_Access the planet’s main Galaxy Warp to reach another part of the planet._

Didn’t work.

_Of course. No matter. Wouldn’t have received this as an assignment at all if it was that simple. Besides, complications like this occurred all the time. Send flask robonoids to planet to repair the Galaxy Warp, go to planet personally._

That worked.

That worked amazingly well! Of course it did; after all, excelling at such problem-solving is likely how Peridot was chosen to report on such a high-profile project in the first place. Everything seemed to be proceeding optimally.

... and then--

_Notice strange symbol on Warp Pad. That’s ... unusual. Area may be compromised. It’d be ridiculous for that to be the case, but what else could it mean? Deactivate robonoids and tactically retreat, come back after reassessment of situation._

That worked well enough.

_After brief report, superiors say to go back to the Galaxy Warp. Alright, not a problem, I’ll simply--_

Didn’t work.

_What? Try Galaxy Warp again._

Didn't work.

_Try Galaxy Warp AGAIN._

Didn't work.

_I JUST repaired it! Try it AGAIN!_

Didn't work.

_Take deep breaths. Calm down._

That worked _even less_ than everything else.

_Very well, clearly the area WAS compromised. Send another report to superiors._

_Superiors just say to get assignment done, offer no potential solutions themselves because_ of course they don’t _._

_Relax Peridot ... what are you, defective? Just remain calm. It’s fine. This is fine._

It wasn’t fine and Peridot was completely aware of that.

_Ignore those thoughts, just ignore it. Focus on your work ...how about this? Send robonoids to fix remote override equipment on Prime Kindergarten and then access the data on the Cluster like I tried to do first. That shouldn’t be too difficult to handle, then this_ catastrophe _will be over._

Didn’t work.

_... send more robonoids._

Didn't work.

_Send. More. Robonoids._

Didn't work.

_Mash on the button that sends more robonoids!_

It takes a while, but it works.

_Finally! Just access the remote override equipment to reactivate the Kindergarten’s computer system. No wonder this was such a problem, all these systems are positively archaic._

And then ... she’d heard a voice say, “I don’t know, it looks pretty cool to me.”

_... who said that?_

_No, seriously, who said that?_

And when she pulled up her viewscreen she saw ... _it_.

_What is that WHAT IS THAT?! Why is it calling itself a Steven? What’s a Steven? WHY ARE THERE STEVENS IN THE KINDERGARTEN?! Oh, it's talking to me WHY CAN IT TALK?!_

_This is getting unsettling. This Steven is looking at me and it’s making me_ horridly _uncomfortable. This is too ... unseemly. I have to smash it. I have to ..._

_WHY ARE THERE GEMS HERE NOW?!_

_What's a Crystal Ge-- WHAT EVEN IS THAT ONE? IS THAT A FUSION?!_

**_DOES THAT PEARL HAVE A SPEAR_ ** _?!_

_WHAT?_

**_WHAT_ ** _?!_

_ALL THE REBELS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE WIPED OUT, WHAT IS-- they’re breaking my stuff WHY ARE THEY BREAKING MY STUFF and--_

And then the remote override stopped working.

_... try again._

Didn't work.

_There’s no point in trying the override again._

_Try again anyway._

Didn't work.

_... please don’t make it so I actually have to go there and deal with rebels! Work. PLEASE WORK!_

Didn't work.

_I’m going to have to go to that planet now, aren’t I?_

Almost certainly.

_I'm going to die there, aren't I?_

Probably.

_Try not to cry._

... didn't work.

* * *

Peridot shook her head, breaking out of her train of thought. She brushed the tiny trickles of tears from her vision spheres with a cold metal finger. She took a deep breath. It was nonsensical to get this worked up. She hated herself for getting this emotional, but she was unable to control herself.

It should have been like every other assignment: straightforward, easily solved, never consisting of much more than standard procedures and occasionally some on-site maintenance. That’s what every single day before was like and what every single day after was _supposed_ to be like. That was her routine.

Peridot _liked_ her routine.

And now, for the first time in her entire existence, Peridot wasn’t sure how to resolve a problem.

Peridot shook her head.

_No, that’s not true_ , she told herself. _I_ can _resolve this._ _How bad can one planet be? And don’t worry about the rebels ... the escort will take care of everything._

_Assuming I ever get a response about that._

Peridot sat in her chair and allowed her fingers to spread apart to form her screen.

She checked her commlink messages. Still no response.

She sighed. She was sure she’d eventually get approved for a soldier escort on her now inevitable trip to Earth. It was a common request for on-site maintenance; there would be no reason for it to be denied, but knowing that did not prevent her from worrying about it.

Suddenly the white noise coming from the speaker on her Work Cube wall stopped. The speaker crackled and she heard a voice infuriatingly similar to her own.

“Peridot 5XG?” said the voice.

Peridot recognized the voice as the Facet 5 receptionist. Peridot dropped her screen and rubbed her temple with her touch stumps. Peridot wasn’t sure why, but something about the receptionist just got under Peridot’s appearance modifiers.

The fact the receptionist was another Peridot might have had something to do with it.

“5XG, are you there?” said the receptionist.

Peridot briefly considered her insecurities might make her dislike any Peridot that seemed more capable than her.

She dwelled on that for only a moment before deciding, no, the receptionist was just annoying.

She rolled her vision spheres and pressed the button on the speaker.

“Yes, Peridot, I’m here,” Peridot said wearily. “What is it?”

“Um, there are some Gems here to see you,” said the receptionist.

“Oh!” Peridot said. “Well, good, it must be the escort I requested.”

“I ... find that unlikely,” the receptionist said. “It’s two Ruby guards and um ... they appear to have a ... prisoner?”

Peridot cocked an eyebrow.

“What?!” Peridot said. “No, that must be a mistake. I’m a Kindergartener. I don’t have anything to do with prisoners!”

“Well, they said they were sent here to see you,” said the receptionist in a matter-of-fact tone.

Peridot groaned. She clenched her touch stumps into fists. Great, she thought. Now she had to deal with someone else’s screw-up and resolve this on top of everything else.

“Fine, whatever!” Peridot said into the speaker. “Just ... send them in here and I’ll deal with it.”

“Very well,” the receptionist said. “Hope the rest of your shift is pleasant, 5XG.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Peridot said, half-listening. “You too, Peridot ...”

The speaker went dead. Thank the stars. Peridot could only deal with that receptionist for so long.

_“Hope the rest of your shift is pleasant.”_ Yeah, right.

What a jerk.

Peridot folded her arms and waited. In just a few moments, the Warp Pad hummed to life. There was a bright pillar of light and after just a second, it dissipated ...

Peridot wasn’t sure what Gem she expected the prisoner to be, but a Lapis Lazuli was probably the most unlikely candidate she could imagine. She stood on the center of the pad, her hands bound in front of her with electric Gem Destabilizer cuffs. Her short blue and black dress seemed to flow for a moment after the light disappeared. She might have looked elegant, if not for the contemptuous look in her eyes.

Her eyes were focused on Peridot. Peridot looked away. Despite not knowing anything about her, it made Peridot feel ... odd to have such aggression focused on her.

Peridot instead focused on the two Rubies on either side of her. Both were soldiers of Yellow Diamond going by the yellow sigil on their physical forms. They looked ... well, like any other Ruby for the most part: square head, red, tiny. The only differences were one had her Gem on her chest, a yellow visor on their head, and a serious look on her face that made Peridot instantly identify her as the superior officer. The other, however, had her Gem on her navel and the sigil for Yellow Diamond around her neck awkwardly rather than at the center of her body; she also had a doofy smile, as if she was unaware she was escorting a prisoner.

The superior Ruby adjusted her visor and took a step forward.

“Are you the Peridot working on the mission to Yellow Diamond Planet Number ... um ...” The Ruby’s eyes glanced upward for a moment. She snapped her fingers, trying to think of it. “Number um ...”

“Earth!” The navel Ruby said, closing her eyes and smiling.

The superior Ruby groaned.

“Right, Earth, whatever,” the superior Ruby said. “Are you that Peridot?”

Peridot nodded.

The superior put her hands at her side.

“Excellent,” she said.

“We brought a prisoner for you!” the naval Ruby said, gesturing towards the Lazuli.

The Lazuli’s expression remained unchanged. Her eyes only drifted to the Rubies as they spoke, then back to Peridot. That same bitter look on her face ...

It made Peridot _extremely_ uncomfortable and she didn’t need the stress. The sooner this mix-up was resolved, the better.

“Yes, but I fail to see _why_ ,” Peridot said, standing from her chair. “Since when are Kindergarteners responsible for prisoners?”

“This is a special circumstance,” the superior Ruby said. “This Lazuli was apparently on Earth until very recently, detained for suspected association with rebels.”

This was the first time the Lazuli had any reaction to anything the Rubies said. Her eyes drifted to the ground, still furious.

“I’m _not_ a rebel ...” the Lazuli said.

The superior’s head snapped to the Lazuli.

“ _Silence, rebel_!” the superior Ruby said.

The Lazuli glared back at the Ruby. The navel Ruby, however, gave the Lazuli a gentle pat on the back.

“Don’t worry,” the navel Ruby said sweetly. “She’s this cranky with everyone ...”

The Lazuli glanced at the Ruby’s hand on her back and winced, clearly disgusted. The navel Ruby didn’t seem to recognize the hint.

“Anyway,” the superior Ruby said to Peridot, “she was held in detention until someone noticed you were currently on the Earth mission, so she was ordered to be brought to you.”

Peridot rolled her eyes.

“Nice of them to ask me first,” Peridot muttered. “Who put in that order?”

“One of the Peridots from Facet 6. She said--”

“ _Of course_!” Peridot said, raising her hands. “I should have known! Typical Facet 6 incompetence! My work would go a lot smoother if I didn’t have to clean up their mistakes constantly!” She grunted. “You’d think with a Facet that large, they’d eventually produce a Gem with some degree of _intelligence ..._ ”

The superior Ruby glared at Peridot.

“... _we’re_ from Facet 6,” she said.

Peridot shut her mouth.

“... oh,” Peridot said. She cleared her throat.

“It’s really quite a lovely Facet once you get used to it,” the navel Ruby said.

“I um ... I see,” Peridot said, wanting to hide herself from the persistent glare of the other Ruby.

The shadow of a smile touched the Lazuli’s face, as if amused by Peridot’s embarrassment. Peridot tried to ignore it.

“A-anyway,” Peridot said. “The fact remains I’m preparing for other matters and, in case you didn’t notice ...” Peridot waved her hand around her tiny Work Cube. “I don’t exactly have a holding cell to keep her in.”

The navel Ruby put her hand to her mouth.

“Oh yeah ... I guess that is a good point ...” she said.

“ _Shut up!_ ” the superior said, holding up one hand. She stared up at Peridot and folded her arms. “You’re telling me you have no use for this prisoner at all? This rebel--”

“Not a rebel,” the Lazuli muttered in an annoyed tone to no one in particular.

The superior Ruby’s eye twitched, but continued speaking.

“This _rebel_ has actually _been_ to Earth,” the superior said. “She must have some information of value to your mission!”

Peridot clenched her teeth. All of these idiots were proving to be a pain.

“Very well ... you want me to ask questions? _Fine_ ,” Peridot said. She turned to the prisoner. “Hey, you! Lazuli!”

The Lazuli glared back at Peridot.

“It’s _Lapis_ Lazuli,” she said.

“Right. _Lazuli_.” Peridot stared straight in her eyes. “Do you know anything about rebels called the ‘Crystal Gems?’”

The Lazuli shut her eyes and shrugged.

“Never heard of them ...” she said.

“Do you know anything about life on that planet? About humans?”

The Lazuli opened her eyes. The corner of her mouth curved upwards.

“You mean those aliens that walk around and fart all the time?”

Peridot raised an eyebrow.

“Fah-art? What’s is fah-art?” Peridot said. “Um ... perhaps, let me pull up my notes--”

The Lazuli, in sharp contrast to how she’d been before, nearly doubled over laughing.

“What’s so _amusing_?” Peridot said, annoyed by the outburst.

“Oh, _come on_!” the superior Ruby shouted. “Don’t you get it! She’s obviously _mocking_ us! She--”

The Lazuli stopped laughing and snapped at the Ruby.

“It was a _joke_ ,” she said. She turned her attention back to Peridot, straightening up. “Humans aren’t anything you need to worry about. They walk on two legs and can talk, but otherwise aren’t very dangerous. Or important.”

Peridot nodded. Despite her reservations over asking anything at all, that information was a relief.

“What about Stevens? Do you know about them?” Peridot said.

The Lazuli raised her eyebrows.

“I--” She stammered. “I’m sorry, do I know about _what_?”

“Stevens. Short little stubby creatures with stars on their chest. There was one in the Prime Kindergarten.”

The Lazuli stared at Peridot. After a moment, she chuckled.

“S-sorry, can’t say I know anything about that,” the Lazuli said hesitantly. She shrugged. “I dunno, they must be new or something ...”

Peridot threw up her hands.

“As I suspected, nothing relevant to my mission...” Peridot said, stepping away from her. She pointed to the superior Ruby. “There, I’m finished. Take her back to wherever she came from.”

The superior Ruby started to protest.

“But our orders are to--”

Peridot raised her voice.

“Well, _my_ orders are to prepare for travel to that planet and finish my mission directly! And such a high-profile assignment _clearly_ trumps the orders of a Facet 6 Peridot trying to shift work to someone else! I have an escort I still have to see about, I don’t have time to deal with such trivialities!” Peridot pointed to the Warp Pad. “Take her back because you’re certainly not leaving a prisoner _here_!”

The superior Ruby clenched her fists.

“... _fine_ ,” she said. She stepped back onto the Warp Pad next to the prisoner. “Come on, Ruby, let’s go ...”

The navel Ruby waved to Peridot.

“It was pleasant meeting you!” the navel Ruby said.

Peridot didn’t bother replying. As the Warp Pad glowed, her eyes shifted to the Lazuli ... and she noticed something odd. Up until now, the Lazuli had seemed unshaken, despite being a prisoner. But now as she left, her expression seemed anxious, almost fearful.

The Lazuli’s eyes met Peridot’s, but before Peridot could even react, the light of the Warp Pad engulfed her and the Rubies. In not even a full second, they were gone.

Peridot’s eyes lingered in the Warp Pad for only a moment before she shook her head. Why was she even concerned about that at all? The Lazuli was not her problem. She could get back to what actually mattered: trying to get an answer about her escort.

She sat down in her chair, trying her best to put the entire experience out of her mind.

After all, it was highly unlikely she’d even see that Lazuli again ...

* * *

Peridot stared out the window of the stardock at the ship floating amidst the blackness of space. It was a standard class Gem warship, shaped like a giant, green hand. Not the most sophisticated ship in the armada, not by a long shot, but certainly enough to be a threat to the enemy.

Peridot sighed. As nervous as she was about her mission to Earth, it was reassuring they had given her such a capable ship to travel in. Not only that, but she finally had gotten her request for an escort approved ... and she had been assigned a Jasper who had fought in the Rebellion to boot. Jaspers were notoriously hardened, loyal soldiers, so Peridot actually felt reassured.

Peridot stood in the corridor of the stardock. She’d been instructed to wait for the escort outside the window on Dock 359 before boarding the ship. She folded her arms, thumping the floating fingers of her limb enhancers against her elbows. The Jasper was already late. She hoped it wouldn’t be much longer.

Peridot allowed her fingers to drift upward to bring up her screen. She nearly sent a commlink message to the Jasper, but resisted the urge. The last thing Peridot wanted to do was anger the Gem who was supposed to keep her safe on a dangerous planet.

She scrolled through the productivity applications on her screen, aimlessly.

“Wish these things had some manner of entertainment on them ...” Peridot muttered to herself.

“Peridot!”

Peridot winced and immediately closed her screen. To her surprise, the Gem standing in front of her was not a Jasper at all, but a Pearl. Her physical form was yellow, her gem was on the center of her chest, and she had frilly cloth on her shoulders which served no practical purpose Peridot could discern.

She stood with her hands behind her back and a sour expression on her face.

Peridot was surprised. She’d hadn't encountered many Pearls before; after all, they were for diamonds and aristocrats, not engineers. She scratched the back of her neck. She never quite knew what to say to these things.

“Oh um ...” Peridot waved her hands in front of her. “No thank you, I don’t need anything. That will be all--”

“I didn’t ask if _you_ wanted anything, clod!” the Yellow Pearl said.

Peridot blinked.

“‘ _Clod_?’” she whispered. Peridot had never been called that before.

It stung for some reason.

The Yellow Pearl ignored her. Her standoffish demeanor was unlike any Peridot had seen from a Pearl before (aside from the rebel from Earth, of course). Even though Pearls were servants and well below Peridot’s social standing, the way she carried herself was off-putting to Peridot.

“Are you Peridot Cut 5XG?” the Yellow Pearl asked.

“Um ... yes,” Peridot said. “What is this about--”

“Excellent,” the Yellow Pearl interrupted. “There’s been an alteration to your mission. An informant has been secured on your ship.”

“Wait, wha-- informant? I don’t need an info--”

Yellow Pearl continued as if Peridot had not spoken. She straightened up.

“The informant is a Lapis Lazuli, a suspected rebel who--”

Peridot groaned.

“Great, _this_ again ...” Peridot said. “Listen, I already informed those Rubies several rotations ago, I’m not trained to handle prisoners and, besides, she doesn’t know any information that would beneficial to me in the first place--”

Yellow Pearl glared.

“If you’d shut up for a tenth of a second, I could inform you of all the reasons why you’re wrong about that,” Yellow Pearl said.

Peridot clenched her fists.

“ _Excuse_ me?! Who do you think you--”

“ _I am a Pearl of Yellow Diamond,”_ Yellow Pearl shouted, thrusting her head inches from Peridot’s face. “My orders come from the _highest_ authority, so unless you want a report filed against you to My Diamond, _you’ll shut your mouth and listen_!”

Peridot cringed. She’d never encountered any Gem that spoke with such disrespect to Peridot before. But the last thing Peridot needed was a bad report to Yellow Diamond, so she held her tongue.

“There, was that so hard?” Yellow Pearl said smugly. She rolled her hand towards Peridot. “As I was saying before I was so _rudely_ interrupted, I think you’ll reconsider what information the Lazuli has once you know what she’s done.”

“What are you talking about?” Peridot said.

“Yesterday, the Lazuli destroyed the physical forms of five Ruby guards, including two assigned as her handlers.”

Peridot’s eyes widened.

“What?!” she said.

“Not only that,” the Yellow Pearl said, “she also broke into an abandoned communications hub on one of Blue Diamond’s facets and sent an unencoded message to Earth.”

“What?! But ...” Peridot stammered. “She-- she didn’t look like much of a threat--”

“I can see you’re an _excellent_ judge of character,” the Yellow Pearl said.

Peridot glared in response.

“And that’s not all,” the Yellow Pearl continued. “After her recapture, deeper investigation revealed a rebel Lazuli was detained during the Rebellion, but never extracted from Earth. I suppose even an imbecile like yourself can put two-and-two together.”

Peridot was stunned. She remembered the fearful look in the Lazuli’s eyes when she left her Work Cube. Peridot had never actually met a criminal before, but she imagined that they would look more ... _vicious_ than that. It didn’t make any sense.

“That’s ... that’s insane,” Peridot said. She shook her head. “Wait, if she’s a dangerous criminal, why is she on my ship?!”

“Well, _obviously_ it's so you can interrogate her for information relevant to your mission--”

“Wha-- wait, _interrogate_?! I’m not trained for--”

“If the Lazuli sent a message to Earth, it was _obviously_ to the rebels described in your report,” the Yellow Pearl said. “It’s obvious she has relevant information. Having her as an informant will aid your mission.” The Yellow Pearl straightened up. “Of course, any information you discover is expected to be included in your report.”

Peridot’s eyes were wide. She _barely_ knew how to have a normal conversation with Gems since she spent most of her work in solitude, let alone _interrogate_ someone. The fact the Lazuli might be dangerous only made it worse. As if going to a compromised planet wasn’t risky enough, now she had to have a possible rebel on the ship.

No. There was no way.

“I--” Peridot laughed nervously. “I’m sorry, this must be a miscalculation. I really think--”

The Yellow Pearl shot Peridot a nasty look.

“Maybe you didn’t hear me,” the Yellow Pearl said. She poked Peridot’s chest. “This is an order from Yellow Diamond herself! This is not a matter that’s up for debate.”

“But how am I supposed to--”

The Yellow Pearl brought her hand to her Gem. It glowed for an instant as she pulled a large diamond-shaped object from it’s light. Each side of the object had a color that matched a member of the Diamond Authority. When the glowing stopped, she thrusted the object towards Peridot.

“Do you know what this is?” the Yellow Pearl said.

Peridot shook her head.

“This is a Diamond Communicator,” she said. “It opens a direct communication channel to any member of the Diamond Authority. You have such a problem with your orders? _Call Yellow Diamond and tell her yourself_.”

Peridot flinched, staring at the Communicator. The Yellow Pearl grinned.

“No?” The Yellow Pearl frowned. “Then keep quiet and do what’s expected of you. Honestly, I’ve never met a Gem that complains as much as you--”

“Do you ever shut up?” a gruff voice said.

Peridot turned towards the voice. A bulky, orange Jasper approached them from the corridor, a scowl on her face.

Peridot blinked. She knew Jaspers were supposed to be huge soldiers, but she was still impressed by the sheer bulk of the Gem. Had Peridot not had her limb enhancers, the Jasper would have dwarfed her. Her Gem was where her nose would have been, glinting in the artificial light. But most striking about her was the chilling look in her orange eyes, filled with nothing but contempt for the Pearl next to Peridot.

The Yellow Pearl stared at the Jasper and grimaced.

“Oh great ... _you again_ ,” the Yellow Pearl grumbled. “I was simply briefing the Peridot on her assign--”

Jasper didn’t even acknowledge the Pearl was speaking. Instead, she turned and looked Peridot in the eye. She pointed her thumb towards the Pearl.

“Is she bothering you?” Jasper said.

Peridot’s eyes darted to the Pearl. The fingers on her limb enhancers floated towards each other, fiddling nervously.

“Well, um ...” was all Peridot managed to get out.

“Thought so,” Jasper said. Jasper turned towards the Pearl and waved her away. “Okay, you’re done. _Leave_.”

The Yellow Pearl gritted her teeth, furious.

“Did you forget who you’re talking to?!” the Yellow Pearl said. “Just because you think you can get snippy with me on commlink doesn’t mean I’ll accept such treatment here!” She held up the communicator in her hand. “Do you not see what I’m holding? Because I will report you both to Yellow Diamond so fast--”

Jasper glanced at the communicator and shrugged.

“Go ahead,” Jasper said.

The Yellow Pearl lowered the communicator and stared at Jasper. The confidence left her voice.

“I ... I’m sorry, what?” the Yellow Pearl said.

“Call her. Report us,” Jasper said.

Peridot shivered at the thought of any bad report concerning her being given to Yellow Diamond.

“H-hey wait a second,” Peridot said. “I don’t--”

Without looking at her, Jasper held her hand up for Peridot to stop speaking. Jasper’s eyes never left the Pearl.

“Go on,” Jasper said. A fiendish grin crept on her face. “Don’t be shy. You need my cut number?”

“I ...” the Yellow Pearl said.

Jasper chuckled.

“You know what?” she said. She held out her hand. “Give me the communicator. _I’ll_ make the call.”

Yellow Pearl drew the communicator back, clutching it with both hands. Her eyes were fixed on Jasper, filled with fear.

Peridot hated to admit it, but she was smiling; considering how terribly the Pearl spoke to her moments before, there was a certain satisfaction seeing the Pearl uncomfortable.

Jasper dropped her grin.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Jasper said. “All talk.”

“I ...” the Yellow Pearl said, her voice weak. “I’m Yellow Diamond’s Pearl, you can’t just talk to me like--”

“That’s right, you’re a Pearl,” said Jasper, taking a step to her. “You don’t _give_ orders, you follow them. You don’t hassle Gems above you. All you’re good for is standing around and picking up garbage. Speaking of which--”

Jasper’s hand shot out. Before the Yellow Pearl could react, the communicator was knocked from her hands. It clattered against the tile floor.

Jasper waved her hand towards the device, smiling.

“Well, you heard me?” Jasper said. “ _Pick it up_.”

The Yellow Pearl looked at Peridot. Peridot didn’t even try to hide her satisfaction. The Yellow Pearl glared in response then, without glancing back at Jasper, knelt down to pick up the communicator. She hesitated.

Jasper knelt down next to her, nodding her head towards the communicator.

“Go on ...” Jasper said softly.

The Yellow Pearl’s body shook. After a moment, she reached out for the communicator.

“Actually, let me help you with that,” said Jasper. In a flash, she firmly gripped the Pearl’s wrist. The Yellow Pearl screamed in pain, her face contorted.

Peridot’s smile dropped.

“ _Whoa_! Hey, wait a minute--” Peridot said, waving her hands in front of her.

Jasper didn’t seem to hear her; she seemed focused on only the Pearl. The Yellow Pearl tried to pull away, but Jasper’s grip remained strong.

Jasper frowned. Her tone was gruff, but casual, as if she assaulting someone.

“What’s the matter?” Jasper said. “Not so tough around someone who can fight back?”

“I--I--” the Yellow Pearl gasped out.

Peridot raised her voice.

“Seriously, this is unnecessary!” Peridot said. “You can’t--”

Jasper ignored her. She sneered at the Yellow Pearl.

“Gems like you make me _sick_ ,” Jasper said. Her grip tightened. “Nothing but _cowards_...”

The Yellow Pearl had tears in her eyes. The sight of it made Peridot go pale.

“You’re ... _hurting_ me ...” the Yellow Pearl said.

Jasper grinned. Peridot felt a chill run down her back.

“Oh, you think _this_ hurts?” Jasper said. “I haven’t even gotten started--”

Unable to stand the sight of this anymore, she gripped Jasper’s shoulder.

“ _Stop_!” Peridot shouted.

That finally got Jasper’s attention. Jasper twisted her head around, her smile gone. She had a stern look as she locked eyes with Peridot.

Jasper glanced down at Peridot’s limb enhancer, it’s fingers against her shoulder.

It was at this point Peridot realized she had just tried restraining a dangerous soldier a million times stronger than she will ever be.

Peridot gulped.

“Um ...” she managed to say. She knew she should probably let go of Jasper by this point, but somehow Peridot had forgotten how to move.

Jasper’s gaze lingered on Peridot a second or two ... then she smirked.

“Alright then,” Jasper said.

Jasper released her grip from the Yellow Pearl.

The Pearl let out a strained gasp and took heavy breaths. She clutched her wrist.

Peridot could see red marks on her arm where Jasper had restrained her. Peridot averted her gaze, unable to stand the sight.

“Hey,” Jasper said to the Yellow Pearl.

The Yellow Pearl looked up, still reeling.

Jasper gestured towards Peridot.

“ _Thank_ her,” Jasper insisted.

The Yellow Pearl glanced up at Peridot. Her eyes had a vulnerable look to them, but she said nothing.

Jasper shook her head.

“Eh, close enough,” Jasper said. “Run along before I change my mind.”

The Yellow Pearl snatched her communicator up and almost stumbled to her feet. She walked backwards from Jasper, her eyes filled with fury once she was further away.

“I’ll be filing a report about this!” the Yellow Pearl said as she backed away. “You hear me?! _You’re done_!”

The Yellow Pearl turned and ran down the corridor, clutching her communicator.

Jasper waved dismissively as she fled out of view.

“Yeah, yeah, _whatever_ ,” Jasper muttered. “Worthless Pearl, wasting my time ...”

Jasper glanced at Peridot. Peridot stiffened.

“You _are_ the Peridot I’m supposed to escort to Earth, right?” Jasper said.

“Y-yes,” Peridot said shakily.

“Good,” Jasper said. She pointed down the opposite end of the corridor. “The dock for our ship is this way. Walk. I have some questions along the way ...”

Without waiting for a response, Jasper began walking down the hallway. Peridot remained still, mystified by Jasper’s complete reaction to what just happened. When she realized Jasper wasn’t slowing down to wait for her, she snapped out of it.

“H-hey, wait up,” Peridot shouted. Her limb enhancers clanked loudly against the tiles as she rushed to Jasper’s side.

“Hold on a moment!” Peridot shouted. “What was THAT exchange about a second ago?”

Jasper stared straight ahead, not even looking at Peridot.

“An attitude adjustment,” Jasper said with no emotion. “Trust me, she had it coming.”

“But-- but that seemed somewhat excessive for--”

Jasper stopped walking, looked up at the ceiling and groaned. She gave a harsh look at Peridot, who immediately felt cold sweat trickle down her Gem.

“Was that Pearl treating you with any kind of respect at all?” Jasper said gruffly.

“Um ... well, no--”

“You do think you _deserve_ respect, right?”

“Well ... I mean, of course, but--”

“And when she walked away, she wasn’t rude to you _anymore_ , was she?”

Peridot blinked.

“Well um ... I-- I guess not, but that doesn’t--”

“So I fixed your problem,” Jasper said.

“I ...” Peridot scratched her head. She wasn’t used to being challenged on her own thought-processes. “Well, when you put it that way, I suppose that’s correct, but that still--”

“Okay then,” Jasper said. She shrugged. “Why are we even arguing about this?”

Peridot opened her mouth, but could think of nothing to say.

Jasper took a step towards the Peridot. Her face was stern.

“Let me give you some advice,” Jasper said. “The only way to get respect is to _take it_. You’d do well to remember that. Don’t let anyone walk all over you.”

Jasper continued walking down the corridor.

“Especially not a common Pearl ...” Jasper said.

Peridot lingered for only a moment, dwelling on the Jasper’s words. Everything Jasper said felt wrong to Peridot, yet ... she wasn’t exactly sure _why_. Objectively, she couldn’t fault Jasper’s logic.

Not only that, but it occurred to Peridot ... why should she _care_ about what happened to the Yellow Pearl at all? It’s not like the Pearl was nice to Peridot, so what reason did she have for getting as invested as she did?

It made no sense, it was completely illogical ... and Peridot didn’t have an answer ...

“Hey, _hurry up_ ,” yelled Jasper, ahead of her.

Peridot snapped her head upward.

“R-right,” Peridot said. “Of course.”

She caught up to Jasper as they reached the end of the corridor. There was a Warp Pad next to another window overlooking the ship. There was also a speaker against the wall, much like the one in Peridot’s Work Cube.

Jasper pressed a button on the speaker.

“We’re here,” Jasper said. “Prepare the ship’s Warp.”

A Gem on the other end (another Peridot from the sound of it) replied.

“Confirmed,” the speaker said. “Preparing Warp.”

Jasper folded her arms then shifted her attention back to Peridot.

“I have questions,” Jasper said.

“A-about what, exactly?” Peridot said.

“The rebels,” Jasper said. “I read your report. You saw three of them, right? A fusion, some type of Quartz, and a Pearl?”

“Y-yes.”

“Don’t tell me it’s _just_ three rebels there?”

“I don’t-- I’m not sure. I only _saw_ three, but it seemed logical to assume there might be more!”

Jasper grunted.

“There _better_ be. There's no point in coming if there's not,” Jasper said. She glanced at the Warp Pad. “The fusion doesn’t matter. Tell me about the other two.”

“What-- what about them?”

“The Pearl,” Jasper said. “What did it look like?”

“Um ... like a ... Pearl?”

Jasper turned back to Peridot, staring at her with a stern look. She said nothing, but she didn’t have to.

“I-- I mean,” Peridot stammered. “She looked a little fancy. Her appearance modifiers had like a sash ... thing attached and--”

“Did it carry a sword?”

“What?”

“The Pearl. Did it carry a sword?”

Peridot simply shook her head.

“No, um ... she had a spear or some similar weapon, but no sword.”

Jasper was silent. She frowned, seemingly disappointed.

“Just another Pearl then ...” Jasper said. “And I almost thought I’d have the chance to fight _her_...”

“Who?” Peridot asked.

Jasper rubbed her temple.

“The only Pearl who was ever worth anything and too long of a story to get into ...” Jasper said. “Nevermind that. I have one more question. The Quartz ... I don’t suppose she was Rose Quartz, was she?”

“... who?” Peridot asked. She had never heard of that type of Quartz.

For the first time, Jasper seemed surprised.

“... _seriously_?” Jasper said. “You don’t know who Rose Quartz is?! How does that even--” Jasper palmed her face. “Ugh ... how old are you?”

“Pardon?”

“You obviously weren’t around during the Rebellion if you don’t know that. So how old are you?”

“Um ...” Peridot touched her limb enhancer’s touch stumps together. “Ninety-seven cycles ...”

“ _Ninety-seven_ \--” Jasper rolled her eyes. “Guess they don’t teach newer Gems anything anymore ...”

Peridot felt a blush on her cheeks. She felt insulted, but was too intimidated by Jasper to speak up.

Amazingly, Jasper seemed to lower her voice upon seeing Peridot’s expression.

“An incredibly strong Rose Quartz led the Rebellion,” Jasper said. “There used to be a bunch before the Diamond Authority killed production and harvested the rest. Probably why you’ve never heard of them.”

“O-oh,” Peridot said. “I see.”

Jasper shrugged one shoulder.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m guessing that Quartz wasn’t her.”

“Why? I haven’t even said what she looks like. She was a little--”

Jasper put her hand up.

“Trust me, you’d _know_ Rose Quartz when you see her,” Jasper said. “She’s ... _eccentric_.” Jasper sighed. “Nevermind. I'm sure I’ll see her personally soon enough.”

“What makes you think she’s still there?” Peridot said.

Jasper glared at Peridot so fiercely she flinched.

“I ... well, I just thought ...” Peridot said. “I was under the impression Homeworld deployed a geoweapon that corrupted the physical forms of all Gems on that planet. Even if some survived, what if _she_ didn’t?”

Before Jasper could reply, the Warp Pad hummed to life. The speaker on the wall crackled.

“Warp prepared,” said the speaker.

Jasper stepped on the Warp Pad, her expression still sour. She gestured next to her. Instinctively, Peridot rushed to her side, still too nervous to speak.

Fortunately, Jasper spoke first.

“Trust me,” said Jasper. “I fought during the Rebellion. Other rebels fall and die, but _never_ her. She survives.

“Rose Quartz _always_ survives ...”

Peridot stared at Jasper, mystified by how soft her tone of voice had gotten. It struck Peridot as the opposite of how she felt. Now there might be a phenomenally powerful Gem that Peridot had never even _seen_ before on that planet.

Perfect. Just ... _perfect_.

But before she could dwell on it any longer, the Warp Pad glowed and engulfed them both in white light.

* * *

Peridot sat in the cockpit of the ship, thumping her touch stumps on the console. She'd set the autopilot to take over the bulk of the trip. On the main viewscreen, there was only the blackness of space dotted by the distant stars they rushed past.

It hadn’t been long since the ship’s departure. It would be some time before Peridot reached Earth.

Hopefully plenty of time to figure out this _other_ matter ...

The door to the cockpit opened automatically as Jasper stepped through.

“I’m done moving our ‘friend’ to the interrogation room,” Jasper said.

“I see,” Peridot said. She sighed. “Thank you, Jasper.”

Jasper shrugged and grunted. This struck Peridot as the full extent of Jasper’s politeness.

Peridot widened her touch stumps to bring up her screen. A few quick taps and she connected to the ship’s network. She brought up the video feed from the interrogation room.

The room itself was nothing special. Just a table and two chairs, both sides divided by a Gem Destabilizer force field. Behind the force field, the Lazuli was not sitting in the chair. Instead, she was huddled in the corner with her knees to her chest. Her head was down.

Peridot cringed. For some reason, it reminded Peridot of herself, when the stress of this assignment had caused her to cry. Peridot honestly thought she was the only Gem who had such episodes. It seemed like a potential defect to her and absolutely _horrible_ to go through. To see someone else having similar feelings ...

Someone Peridot was expected to force information out of, even ...

Jasper cleared her throat, snapping Peridot out of her thoughts.

“Yes?” Peridot said.

“I’m going to my quarters to train till we get to Earth,” said Jasper. “Unless it’s important, don’t bother me.” Jasper shrugged. “Or unless your friend says anything about Rose Quartz ...”

“Yes ...” said Peridot. Just as Jasper turned to leave, Peridot was hit with inspiration. She yelled “Wait!”

Jasper twisted around.

“ _What_?” Jasper said.

Peridot swallowed.

“Well, um ... it’s just ...” Peridot gestured to Jasper. “You seem like a big, strong Gem.”

Jasper raised an eyebrow.

“I mean ...” Peridot continued. “You seem very _capable_... I was just wondering if, um ...”

Jasper looked Peridot up and down. Curiously, Jasper seemed uncomfortable.

“Sorry ... you’re not my type,” Jasper said.

“ _What_?!” Peridot said. She waved her hands frantically. “No no no! I was going to ask if you could interrogate the Lazuli for me!”

“Oh!” Jasper said. “Okay, that’s different.” She sighed and seemed to return to her usual abrasive self. “Still no.”

“What?” Peridot said. “But you did such a good job intimidating that Yellow Pearl ...”

_In a display that was revolting to watch, but that’s beside the point_ , Peridot thought.

Jasper pointed towards Peridot.

“ _My_ job is to escort you to Earth. _Your_ job is to check on the Cluster and take care of _her_. Deal with it.”

“I just ...” Peridot whispered. “It seemed like you might actually ... _enjoy_ it more.”

Jasper gave Peridot a curious look. It was almost as if she didn’t understand why Peridot would say such a thing.

“It’s no fun if they can’t fight back ...” Jasper grumbled.

Peridot was surprised. There was almost a hint of something emotional in Jasper’s voice. Then again, Peridot could have just been mistaken.

Jasper moved back towards the door.

“You're on your own,” Jasper said.

“But-- but surely you have some advice!” Peridot said, standing from her chair. “I’m not _designed_ for this! I ...” Peridot heard her own voice squeak. “I don’t know what to do ...”

Jasper rolled her eyes.

“Oh, _please_ ,” she said. “Quit _whining_.”

Peridot frowned. However, despite Jasper’s annoyed tone, she didn’t leave right away. Instead, she strode past Peridot and leaned on the controls of the ship.

“There are different ways to do it,” Jasper said. “Getting them to talk by shifting the blame away from them, telling them what they want to hear, stuff like that ... but intimidation is the easiest way.” Jasper glanced at Peridot. “Since that might not be as easy for you on your own ...”

Jasper hovered her hand over the controls. There was a small glow on the console as a long, forked instrument popped into Jasper’s grip.

“You know what this is, right?” Jasper said.

Peridot cringed. She recognized it right away.

“A Gem Destabilizer?” Peridot said.

Jasper nodded.

“But, what help is that?” Peridot asked. “I don’t want to destroy her physical form! I just need information! How does that--”

“At full power is disrupts a Gems physical form. But ...” Jasper twisted the Destabilizer and adjusted a dial on the bottom of the handle. “If you dial the power down, it doesn’t do that. It just makes you _wish_ it destroyed your physical form.”

Jasper held the Gem Destabilizer out to Peridot.

Peridot stared at it.

Jasper nodded towards the weapon.

“Well?” Jasper said. “Take it.”

“I--” Peridot found it hard to speak. The thought of using a Gem Destabilizer as a _torture device_ was too much. “I can’t just--”

Jasper groaned.

“Look, you asked for help. _This_ is help,” she said, practically growling.

“But she--”

“Who, the prisoner? She’s a rebel. A traitor to Homeworld! Don’t tell me you feel _sorry_ for her?”

“N-no, of course not!” Peridot insisted. “She's no concern of mine! It's just ...” Peridot folded her arms. “It's simply not my job to perform such ...” Peridot gulped. “ _Procedures_.”

“Well, apparently it is _now_. You know what your orders are. You know what _she_ is. So what's stopping you?“

“But-- well ... what if she _isn’t_? What if this is all some misunderstanding?”

“Don’t tell me you’re _that_ stupid,” Jasper said. “She destroyed the physical forms of five Ruby gems who were just following orders. You can’t misunderstand _that_. You’d be insane NOT to have a weapon around her! And even if she wasn’t a rebel, why do you even _care_? She’s nothing to you, so what does it matter?”

Peridot couldn’t think of a reply. Those were all good points. Honestly, Peridot had no rational reason for caring about the well-being of the prisoner ...

Jasper shook the Destabilizer.

“Last chance,” Jasper said.

After a long pause, Peridot hesitantly reached out and took the Destabilizer.

For some reason, she felt _filthy_ holding it.

“ _There_ ,” Jasper said. “Was that so hard?”

Jasper walked towards the door. It opened automatically.

“Now don’t bother me again,” Jasper grumbled.

Jasper exited the room, the door shutting behind her.

Peridot was left alone, holding the Gem Destabilizer.

Her mind felt blank. She had no clue what to do. She couldn’t even wrap her mind around actually using the device for that purpose.

Peridot took a breath.

The hand holding the Destabilizer shook.

She hated this assignment so much she felt sick.

She didn’t want to use it.

She _couldn’t_ use it.

... could she?

Peridot dwelled on everything Jasper said. She thought back to her words back on Homeworld.

_The only way to get respect is to_ take it _._

Peridot tightened her grip on the Destabilizer as a grimace formed on her face ...

* * *

Not long after that, Peridot opened the door of the interrogation room.

The Gem Destabilizer was in her hand.

Perdiot could see the Lazuli behind the forcefield seperating both halves of the room. She looked up from the fetal position she was in once Peridot entered.

She had expected the Lazuli to appear vulnerable, but instead she had a harsh, defiant look in her eyes.

It reminded Peridot of Jasper, in an odd way.

Peridot took a breath. She sat on the chair on her side of the room. She carefully placed the horrific device on her side of the table.

The Lazuli’s eyes followed it, but she seemed unafraid. She did not sit at the chair opposite to Peridot on the other side of the forcefield. She did not move. She said nothing.

Peridot exhaled. She ignored the sickening feeling in the pit of her construct. She told herself things would go smoothly. that she wouldn’t even have to use device.

She wanted to believe that, anyway.

She tented her touch stumps together.

“I would like to talk ...” Peridot said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT EPISODE: THE LAST ONE! THE FINALE!  
> LAPIS! REVELATIONS! ACTION! WE TIE UP THE LOOSE ENDS!  
> (And then after that we’ll do I Want to Understand standalone one-shots for a bit before the next major storyline in this “universe.” We’ll talk more about that later ...)


	8. The Gem I Used to Be pt. 2

“... y-you do know how talking works, right?” Peridot said.

The Lazuli didn’t move from the corner on her side of the forcefield. She sat in the floor and glared at Peridot silently.

Peridot remained in her seat at the interrogation table, staring back at the Lazuli through the forcefield dividing the room (and the table) in half. She thumped her touch stumps on the table.

“You could at least sit in the chair,” Peridot said. “They’re adequately comfortable.”

The Lazuli seemed to consider this for a moment before standing up. She walked over to the metal chair, but did not sit in it. She glanced at the forcefield.

“This forcefield is a Gem Destabilizer, right?” said the Lazuli.

“Ah! Yes! This is an acceptable conversation starter!” Peridot said. At least technology was a subject she could talk about. “Yes. Fascinating marvel of engineering, actually. Any Gems that pass through such a field will have their physical forms destroyed, but it still allows for any other materials to pass through undamaged! Extremely useful for transport of sensitive materials though-- hey, what are you doing with that chair?”

The Lazuli wordlessly raised the metal chair over her head and flung it at Peridot.

“ _WHOA_!” yelled Peridot as the chair passed through the forcefield. Peridot fell out of her chair just in time to avoid having it strike her on the Gem. It clanked against the wall behind Peridot, bouncing once or twice before settling against the floor.

Peridot glared at the Lazuli, who expressed no emotion at all aside from annoyance.

Peridot picked herself off the floor and sat back in the chair.

“... I’m getting the impression you’re going to be difficult about this,” Peridot said, irritated.

“Oh _really_?!” the Lazuli said. “Gee, what gave you that idea?!”

She put her hands on her side of the interrogation table and pulled up. She grunted.

Peridot rolled her eyes.

“The table is bolted to the floor, Lazuli,” Peridot said.

The Lazuli stopped pulling on the table. Her eyes darted towards the floor.

“Crap,” the Lazuli muttered.

Her eyes flicked back to Peridot’s before she simply sat back down in the corner.

Peridot groaned.

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re just going to not speak to me now?!” Peridot said.

The Lazuli folded her arms, scowling.

Peridot ground her teeth before she took a breath to regain herself.

_Just ask the questions_ , Peridot told herself. _She’ll have to say something sooner or later._ _She has to. Otherwise ..._

Peridot glanced at the Gem Destabilizer on the table, then looked away, ignoring the discomfort in her stomach.

Peridot tented her touch stumps together.

“Listen, you don’t even have to divulge _that_ much information,” Peridot said. “I just want to know about these Crystal Gem rebels. And what their intentions are. And any details on rebel activity from the past four thousand years of intelligence blackout.” Peridot smiled nervously. “See? Nothing _that_ major!”

The Lazuli said nothing.

Peridot sighed.

“Okay ... perhaps we could start small? That’s reasonable,” Peridot said. “I know you sent a message to that planet. Who did you send it to?”

The Lazuli remained silent.

Peridot’s hand shook. This was getting nowhere. She was completely uncooperative. But there had to be something Peridot could say. There had to be a way to avoid ... _unseemly_ procedures.

“Well ... how about this?” Peridot said. “You were on that planet for quite a while. Why were you there in the first place? Were you really a rebel?”

The Lazuli just glared back at Peridot.

Peridot clenched her touch stumps and banged her fist on the table.

“Come on! You obviously know SOMETHING! Why else would you have sent a message to that planet?! Just ...” Peridot noticed a crack in her own voice. “Just tell me _something_! _Anything_!”

The Lazuli narrowed her eyes.

“... why don’t you just hurt me and get it over with?” the Lazuli said bitterly.

Peridot cringed.

“ _What_?” Peridot said.

The Lazuli nodded towards the Gem Destabilizer on the table.

“That’s what you came here to do, right?” she said. She looked away from Peridot, her voice filled with disgust. “Just do it. Get it _over with_ , okay? I know how my life works by this point. It’s sucked from start to finish and frankly I’m _tired_ of dragging things out. Whatever horrible thing you’re gonna do to me, _just go ahead and do it._ ”

Peridot rose from her chair, fists clenched in rage. She had never met someone this insufferable.

“What is even your _PROBLEM_?!” Peridot shouted. “Do you just _want_ to make this as uncomfortable for yourself as possible or something?! _Are you that stupid?!_ ”

Peridot glared as the Lazuli just stared at the floor.

Peridot ground her teeth. She flicked her left hand up, allowing her touch stumps to form her screen. She grabbed the Gem Destabilizer with her right hand.

It would only take a couple quick taps of her screen to bring the forcefield down and do what was necessary.

She clearly wasn’t worth any further effort.

Peridot held up the Gem Destabilizer.

“You want me to get it over with so bad?!” Peridot screamed. “You’re going to be so stubborn that you won’t just make this _easy_ for both of us?!”

The Lazuli said nothing. Peridot held out one finger while still clutching the Gem Destabilizer, hovering over the command to bring down the forcefield.

But she remained still.

“What are you waiting for?” the Lazuli said, sounding more impatient than anything else.

“ _Nothing_!” Peridot shouted.

“So just do it!”

“ _I will_!”

Peridot still didn’t move.

_Just get it over with_ , Peridot thought. _She’s right. Why drag it out? Just ..._

_Just ..._

Peridot felt a tightness in her chest as she flung the Gem Destabilizer aside. Her touch stumps allowed the screen to disappear and drift back to her limb enhancers. She clutched at her hair, trying to ignore the burning sensation in her vision spheres.

“ _WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME_?!” Peridot shouted.

The Lazuli looked astonished.

“Huh?!”

“You-- you’re being selfish, you know?!” Peridot said. “You think I want to do any of this?! I’m just trying to complete my assignment! AN ASSIGNMENT I DON’T EVEN WANT ANYMORE!”

Peridot wasn’t even sure of the nonsense coming out of her mouth. She felt something inside herself give way, any ounce of restraint gone. She started pacing, digging her touch stumps into her scalp.

“I--I don’t even care about this anymore!” Peridot shouted. “Everything about my existence since I’d even HEARD of the Earth has been _HORRIBLE_! Everything enjoyable about my life just _WENT AWAY_ the moment this assignment decided to _infect_ it!”

The Lazuli’s expression softened. To Peridot’s surprise, she spoke in a quiet voice.

“Hey, calm down--” she said.

“ **I! AM! CALM**!” said Peridot as she kicked her chair over, causing it to clatter to the floor next to the one the Lazuli had thrown.

“Listen, Peridot--”

“All I ever wanted to do was build Kindergartens!” Peridot interrupted, her thoughts and anxieties racing. “That’s what I was made for! THAT’S THE ONLY THING I WAS EVER _GOOD_ AT! And now, and now I have to deal with rebels and prisoners and space travel and Jasper and _I didn’t ask for any of this, I just_ \--”

Peridot buried her face in her hands. She tried her best not to cry; she didn’t want anyone to see how blatantly defective she was by doing so.

“Are you ... okay?” the Lazuli said.

Peridot looked up and shot the Lazuli a glare.

“What do _you_ care?” Peridot said.

Strangely, the Lazuli’s eyes were wide. Peridot couldn’t understand why; it wasn’t as if Peridot’s outburst affected her in any way so why would she even react to it?

Before Peridot could say anything, the limb enhancer on her left arm began to vibrate. She rubbed her temple as she allowed her touch stumps to form a screen.

It was a call from Jasper elsewhere on the ship. She answered. A waveform appeared on screen as Jasper’s gruff voice rang out.

“ _Heard you screaming from across the ship,”_ Jasper said. “ _Is there a problem?_ ”

“No ... no, there is no cause for concern,” Peridot said. She hoped Jasper didn’t notice her voice shaking.

“ _No problems with the prisoner?”_ Jasper asked.

Peridot glanced at the Lazuli. The Lazuli sat still.

“... no,” Peridot said. “No, everything is ... proceeding properly.”

“ _Good. Then_ shut up and get back to work! _”_ Jasper said gruffly. “ _You’re interrupting my training with your nonsense!”_

Peridot flinched as Jasper went on.

“ _First you bail out that Pearl and now this, it’s like you can’t_ not _irritate me ...”_

The waveform disappeared as Jasper abruptly ended the call.

Peridot groaned as she dropped the screen and returned her fingers to normal. Great. Now the escort was even more annoyed with her.

Things just kept getting _better and better_.

Peridot noticed the Lazuli still staring at her. Her defiant expression was gone, now replaced with what seemed like curiosity.

“ _What_?” Peridot asked..

The Lazuli blinked.

“Is that true what she said?” the Lazuli said softly.

“Is what true?” Peridot said.

“That you helped a Pearl?”

Peridot crossed her arms and looked away. She felt embarrassed another Gem was even asking about it because it was such an illogical, nonsensical thing to do.

“What concern is it of yours?” Peridot said.

The Lazuli rubbed her own arm, nervously.

“I dunno,” the Lazuli said. “Just kinda seems like something most Gems wouldn’t do ...”

Peridot said nothing and simply scowled. She wasn’t in the mood to be mocked for her actions, especially actions she didn’t fully understand.

The Lazuli bit her lip.

“The ... Pearl you helped didn’t happen to be blue, did she?” the Lazuli asked.

Peridot raised an eyebrow.

“Nooooo,” Peridot said. “Why?”

The Lazuli frowned.

“She wasn’t?” the Lazuli said. “For a second I thought it might be ...” She groaned and put her hand to her forehead. “Nevermind ... it was stupid to think that ...”

Peridot didn’t have the slightest idea what that was about, but didn’t care to ask.

The Lazuli noticed Peridot staring at her and met her gaze.

“What?” the Lazuli said.

“What made you so conversational all of a sudden?” Peridot said. “You had made it fairly obvious you wanted no interaction with me whatsoever.”

“I ... I dunno,” the Lazuli said. “I guess you started to remind me of ... me a bit, I guess.”

“Oh?” Peridot said. “In ... what way?”

The Lazuli shrugged.

“Both of our lives went bad as soon as we found out about the Earth,” the Lazuli said. She gave a nervous chuckle. “It’s not exactly my favorite place, either ...”

Peridot stood there, unsure of what to say.

The Lazuli took a deep breath. She stood up from the corner and strode over to the table. Her gaze was firmly on Peridot.

“I have something to ask,” the Lazuli said. “If ...” The Lazuli gritted her teeth, as if unsure what she was about to say. “Let’s say I agreed to tell you ... some things ... to make your life a little easier ...”

Peridot’s eyes widened.

“Uh huh?” Peridot said, nodding.

“But!” the Lazuli added, her expression serious. “But I--I want you to do something--”

Peridot shook her head and put her hands up.

“Oh, no no,” Peridot said. “If you’re suggesting I release you from imprisonment--”

“ _I don’t care about that_!” the Lazuli yelled. “It’s not _me_ I’m worried about.”

“Eh?” Peridot said, raising an eyebrow.

The Lazuli frowned and lowered her voice.

“You’re in charge of this mission, right?” she said.

_Well ... sort of,_ Peridot thought. Even if this was indeed Peridot's assignment, she hesitated to call herself "in charge" of anything, especially since Jasper far outranked her.

But Peridot didn’t like stating her own unimportance, so she simply nodded.

The Lazuli smiled.

“So if-- if I asked you to protect someone while on your mission, you’d be able to do that, right?” the Lazuli said.

“Protect?” Peridot said. “You mean one of the Crystal Gems--”

“No, no, he’s no Gem!” the Lazuli said defensively. “He’s just a human! Completely ordinary!”

“... why the concern for a human?” Peridot asked. “In our first encounter, you stated humans were unimportant.”

The Lazuli shot Peridot a harsh look.

“ _This one isn’t_ ,” the Lazuli said in a cold voice. A second later, she shook her head and resumed speaking normally. “But anyway ... could you protect a human, if I asked?”

Peridot blinked at the Lazuli.

Of course Peridot couldn’t. She didn’t have much pull on her assignment. After all, she was only supposed to check on the Cluster’s progress; this trip was only a last resort to complete that task. It wasn’t as if she could just bring under-evolved life back to Homeworld, and that was assuming she could even get it that far; she had a feeling Jasper would not be agreeable to the idea of preserving alien life.

Apparently, the Lazuli mistook Peridot’s silence for consideration, because she spoke again.

“I promise, I’ll tell you everything you want to know!” the Lazuli said. “All I want is to make sure one human is okay. You wouldn’t even have to bring him back to Homeworld, just ... I dunno, make sure he’s given a place to himself on the colony. It’s not like _one_ human would interfere with anything anyway!”

“C-colony?” Peridot asked. What in the name of Homeworld was the Lazuli _talking_ about?

The Lazuli looked confused.

“Yeah,” the Lazuli said. “I was on Earth during the Rebellion. I know Homeworld wanted to make it a colony. It wasn’t hard to figure out that’s why you’re heading back ... especially when you mentioned you’re good at making Kindergartens so ...”

The Lazuli continued for a bit about how she “figured out” the nature of Peridot’s mission ... but Peridot could hardly hear all her _completely wrong_ assumptions over her own thoughts.

_She doesn’t know about the Cluster_ , Peridot thought.

_She doesn’t know there isn’t going to BE an Earth to colonize soon._

_She doesn’t know there aren’t gonna be_ any _humans left to save!_

“Peridot?” the Lazuli said.

“Huh?” Peridot said.

“You didn’t answer me,” the Lazuli said. “If I tell you what you want to know ... can you save the human I’m going to tell you about?”

Peridot’s instinct was to correct the Lazuli’s mistake, to say she could not agree to such a promise because it was an objective impossibility.

But ...

Peridot thought about her orders. She needed any information the Lazuli might have ... and that directive came from _Yellow Diamond_ herself. _Her Diamond_. The information the Lazuli had must be of critical importance.

Peridot didn’t even want to think about what could happen if she failed this aspect of her assignment.

And that wasn’t even getting into the rest of her mission. The Lazuli clearly knew _something_ about the rebels. Her knowledge could save Peridot’s own life for all she knew.

So many of Peridot’s problems would evaporate if she had access to that information.

And all she had to do to get it was say yes.

“Peridot?” the Lazuli said.

Peridot took a deep breath. She did her best to keep her composure.

“I ... promise I will do everything in my power to protect this human,” Peridot said.

The Lazuli’s eyes were wide.

“You’re serious?” she said.

Peridot nodded, keeping her expression as neutral as possible.

“Yes,” Peridot said. “That is exactly right.”

What she said _was_ exactly right. Peridot stated she would do “everything in her power.”

The exact amount of power Peridot actually _had_ (which was almost none) wasn’t called into question.

_Not a lie at all_ , Peridot told herself. _Not technically._

Peridot cleared her throat. It was best not to dwell on her own words; the Lazuli’s were the more pressing interest.

“So um ... who exactly is this human you’re so concerned about?”  Peridot asked.

For the first time since Peridot had met her, the Lazuli actually seemed relaxed. The small smile returned on her face. She seemed completely at ease.

“His name is Steven ...” the Lazuli began.

* * *

Peridot found herself losing track over how much time passed during their conversation. It was just full of such useful information.

The Lazuli didn’t just tell Peridot “some things”; she gave Peridot any information about the rebels she could ever WANT.

The exact location of the Crystal Gems’ base ...

(“It’s underneath this fusion statue. It’s pretty impossible to miss, actually. I don’t think they ever learned how to keep a low profile,” the Lazuli said.)

The contents of her message to Earth ...

(“I told Steven not to try to fight,” the Lazuli said. “It would only lead to more people getting hurt.”

Peridot found herself smiling.

“Well ... thank you for telling him not to engage in conflict. That certainly makes my assignment simpler.”

To Peridot’s surprise, the Lazuli smiled back.

“You’re welcome, I guess,” the Lazuli said.)

The size of their forces ... or rather, the lack thereof ...

(“There’s seriously only _three_ of them?!” Peridot said.

“Pretty sure,” the Lazuli replied. “They hang around a couple other humans, but they’re the only Crystal Gems I’ve seen ...”

Peridot blinked.

“I’ve been put through this many complications and lost this much progress over my mission ... because of _three_ rebels?!” she said.

“Well ... technically four,” the Lazuli said. “Two of them seem to stay fused all the time.”

“ _All the time?_ ” Peridot said. She cringed. “ _In public_?!”

The Lazuli nodded.

Peridot shivered.

“Clearly these Gems have no concept of _decency_...” Peridot grumbled.

The Lazuli shrugged.)

And much more ...

This was it, realized Peridot. All of her problems were solved. And it was so _easy_! Peridot’s fears over interrogation had been completely unfounded. She hadn’t had to hurt the Lazuli at all, Peridot no longer felt uncomfortable ...

And despite Peridot having almost no experience with conversation at all ... she was shocked that she found it quite pleasant. She wasn’t just tolerating it, she was actually _enjoying_ it. She _enjoyed_ hearing what the Lazuli had to say. It was the first time Peridot had seen social interaction as anything other than an occasional inconvenience. Understanding this new sensation was quite difficult for Peridot; it was as if for the first time, Peridot felt like she wasn’t alone.

It felt ... _nice_.

... or at least, it did until the Lazuli spoke about how she became trapped on Earth in the first place.

The Lazuli had just finished explaining how she had come to Earth for an assignment, not unlike Peridot. She had been sent to make a delivery and decided to linger on Earth , only to be hurt during the Rebellion and mistaken for an enemy combatant. She was imprisoned in a mirror (... whatever that was), damaged, and picked up by a Pearl. It was thousands of years before she interacted with anyone else, the Steven she mentioned ...

Peridot could only stare at the Lazuli as she finished her story.

“Wow ...” Peridot said.

“What?” the Lazuli asked.

Peridot put her hand to her Gem.

“That situation sounds so ... _unfair_ ,” Peridot said.

The Lazuli smiled ... but it didn’t seem like there was any genuine happiness behind it.

“Story of my life,” the Lazuli said.

Peridot gulped. All of a sudden, she felt a gnawing feeling in her physical form. Peridot tried to ignore it.

The Lazuli gave a tiny chuckle.

“What’s so amusing?” Peridot asked.

The Lazuli waved her hand dismissively.

“Oh ... I just realized ...” The Lazuli brushed her blue hair aside. “You know, this is the longest I’ve talked to anyone in ... oh, five thousand years.”

The sick feeling grew more intense in the center of physical form.

“O-oh, you don’t say?” Peridot said.

“Yeah, even when I met Steven I didn’t get a chance to talk that much,” the Lazuli continued. She put her hand to her shoulder. “You know, even when I was just another Gem on Homeworld I never ... related to anyone that much ...” Her smile got brighter. “I guess, all things considered, I’m glad I had a chance to talk to you.”

Peridot’s midsection felt like it was being stabbed repeatedly. It took everything Peridot had to keep her hand from shaking.

“It’s ...” the Lazuli went on. “It’s always nice when you meet someone who can understand how you feel, if only a little bit.”

_I don’t want to be here anymore_ , Peridot thought, her physical form feeling assaulted with each word. _I don’t want to be here!_

But the Lazuli kept speaking.

“I just wanted to say ... well ... thanks. For everything. For actually wanting to help,” the Lazuli said.

_You know you’re not going help her,_ Peridot told herself. _You know you_ can’t _._

Peridot tried to shake the thought out of her head, but couldn’t. But she clenched her fist slowly and tried to remain ... professional. She didn’t need to feel this way, she _shouldn’t_ , all that mattered was the assignment ...

“Well...” Peridot said, rising to her feet. “I ... _appreciate_ your kind words.”

She noticed the shakiness in her own voice, but the Lazuli seemed unaware.

“Ahem,” Peridot continued, “Well, I ... have some reports I need to type up. Thank you for being so forthcoming.”

“It’s fine,” the Lazuli said. “Thank you for everything you’re doing.”

Peridot felt another stab in her physical form.

“T-think nothing of it,” Peridot said. She cleared her throat and, without another word, exited the interrogation room.

She glanced back at the Lazuli as she left. She seemed content. Happy.

She had no idea.

As soon as the door closed behind Peridot, she placed her hand against the wall of the hallway to steady herself. She breathed heavily. The air had felt heavier every moment she was in that room, hearing the Lazuli say those comments Peridot _clearly_ didn’t deserve.

Peridot told herself not to think about it.

_She’s just a prisoner, you’re just fulfilling your mission, this doesn’t matter_ , Peridot said. _You shouldn’t care. You_ don’t _care_. _You don’t_ have _to do anything._

That was the most important thing, Peridot told herself. She wasn’t _obligated_ to do anything. She didn’t have to help Lapis--

The Lazuli, Peridot meant. She didn’t have to help _the Lazuli_.

She didn’t have to lift a single touch stump ...

And yet, within moments, Peridot opened her screen and placed a call to Jasper.

A waveform appeared onscreen as the call was accepted. When Jasper answered, she sounded out of breath.

“ _What?!”_ Jasper shouted. “ _I’m very busy right now!”_

Peridot cleared her throat.

“I ...” Peridot steadied her voice. “I thought you might like to know I’ve finished my interrogation.”

“ _Oh?”_ Jasper said.

All of a sudden the waveform peaked as there was a loud snap on Jasper’s end, followed by a strange ‘poof’ sound. Peridot flinched.

“What in Homeworld was--?” But Peridot was cut off.

“ _Don’t worry about it_ ,” Jasper said. “ _Room, another one.”_

There was another poof. Jasper, however, barely acknowledged whatever caused it.

“ _You were saying?”_ Jasper said.

“Oh! Um ...” Peridot took a breath. “I’ve ... derived much information from the Lazuli.”

“ _Told you that Gem Destabilizer would help.”_

Peridot ignored that comment and continued.

“A-anyway, she revealed the exact coordinates of the Crystal Gems’ base. I’ll be uploading them to the ship’s navigation system, as well as including it in my report--”

“ _Did she say anything about Rose Quartz?”_ Jasper said.

“Um ... n-no,” Peridot said.

“ _Then why are you bothering me?”_ Jasper said. A moment later, she let out a loud “ _HRRRRG_!” followed by a loud crunching sound, followed by another snap.

“ _What are even you doing?!”_ Peridot blurted out.

“ _Training_ ,” Jasper said. There was another, louder snap, followed by the same poof noise as before. “ _Room, make_ another _Rose Quartz.”_

Peridot silently decided to never ask Jasper any personal questions ever again.

“ _We done then_?” Jasper said.

Peridot hesitated. That should have been all that was worth mentioning. In fact, Peridot didn’t need to call Jasper at all. She knew this ...

And despite already knowing the answer, she felt compelled to ask anyway.

“A-actually,” Peridot said nervously. “I was wondering ... would ...” Peridot sighed. This was so pointless. “Would ... it be possible for us to bring back ... someone from Earth? P-perhaps a ... human ...”

There was no answer on the other end.

“D-did you hear me?” Peridot said.

“ _Oh no, I heard_ ,” Jasper said with a hint of a chuckle. “ _I was just waiting to see if you realized how stupid that question was._ ”

Peridot groaned.

“I already do,” Peridot mumbled.

“ _Why are you even asking?_ ” Jasper said. “ _Oh, no wait, don’t tell me ... the prisoner asked for that, right?_ ”

“W-well--”

Jasper gave a bitter laugh.

“ _Listen_ ,” Jasper said, “ _you already got the information we need, right?_ ”

“I ... believe so, yes, but--”

“ _But nothing! You’re done. Your business with her is over. What she actually wants doesn’t mean anything_.”

“But I told her I would--”

“ _Doesn’t matter what you-- hold on a second.”_ There was a loud smash before Jasper continued as if nothing had happened. _“Yeah, it doesn’t matter what you told her. You’re doing your job. If she gets upset you lied about something to fulfill your mission and keep yourself safe, well ... sorry about her luck, that’s just how it is_.” Jasper snorted. “ _Besides, you really think even if you brought a human back to Homeworld, the Diamonds would just let them walk around free?_ Please.”

Once again, despite Jasper’s complete lack of tact, Peridot couldn’t fault her logic.

“I ... suppose you’re right,” Peridot said.

“ _Of course I am_ ,” Jasper said. “ _Trust me, once we get back to Homeworld, the prisoner will get harvested, you’ll go back to whatever boring work you usually do, and in a few cycles, you’ll forget about all of it._ ”

Peridot felt the color drain from her face.

“You ... you think they’ll _harvest_ her?” Peridot said.

“ _Probably. Or shatter her, something. That’s usually how treason gets sorted out._ ”

Peridot’s knees felt weak.

“I-- I don’t--”

Jasper grunted angrily.

“ _Look, I already gave you more advice than you deserve!_ ” Jasper shouted. “ _You can forget all about this like I told you or just wallow around in self-pity some more. Either way, don’t bother me with it!_ ”

Jasper ended the call.

Peridot lingered in the hallway for a moment. She took a breath.

Jasper was right. She was simply doing her job. She was following orders. Honestly, Peridot had done nothing wrong. These feelings were a product of her defects, her existing anxieties, nothing more ...

_I can’t save her friend,_ Peridot tried not to think.

Peridot would return to the bridge and watch the stars rush by, browse the apps on her screen, anything to take her mind off this. It was the obvious thing to do.

_She’s going to be harvested,_ Peridot definitely didn’t think.

Peridot walked down the hallway, not at all thinking about the prisoner still in the interrogation room. She was an obstacle that Peridot conquered, nothing more. That was that.

_There’s nothing I can do,_ Peridot thought to herself.

She ignored the thought as she headed towards the bridge. Peridot was feeling better already, she told herself. The intrusive thought had not even bothered her.

It hadn’t.

_It hadn’t_.

* * *

It was only a matter of minutes before they entered the Earth’s atmosphere. Peridot knew she should have just stayed on the bridge until landing ...

But, for reasons she didn’t understand, she found herself outside the interrogation room.

She twiddled her touch stumps together nervously. The more she tried not to think about the Lazuli, the worse she felt.

Eventually, the thought occurred to Peridot that the Lazuli and her were quite similar. Perhaps if she could just _explain_ herself, the Lazuli would understand. After all, the Lazuli was once just a Gem just doing her job, just like Peridot.

She had to understand.

The door opened automatically as Peridot approached.

She glanced past the forcefield and saw the Lazuli sitting in the corner. She looked as content as Peridot had left her.

The Lazuli noticed Peridot. She smiled and waved.

Peridot felt a lump in her throat. She didn’t wave back.

Peridot approached the table, steadied herself on it with both of her hands. She stared at the Lazuli.

The Lazuli approached her side of the table, still smiling.

“Hi Peridot,” the Lazuli said. “Everything okay?”

Peridot hesitated.

“We’ll ... be approaching Earth shortly,” Peridot said.

The Lazuli got excited.

“Great! Do you think we’ll be able to make sure Steven’s safe soon?” the Lazuli said.

Peridot glanced down at the floor. She felt beads of sweat drip down her Gem.

“W-what’s wrong?” the Lazuli said, confused.

“I-- I cannot bring the Steven back to Homeworld,” Peridot muttered.

The Lazuli blinked for a moment, then frowned.

“Oh ...” the Lazuli said. “Well ... I--I guess that’s okay. As long as he’ll be safe during the colonization, he doesn’t really have to come--”

“There is no colonization.”

The Lazuli’s face turned a paler shade of blue. Her eyes widened.

“... _what_?” the Lazuli whispered.

Peridot couldn’t even make eye contact as she spoke.

“There is no colonization,” Peridot said. “The ... Earth has a geo-weapon in its core that will mature shortly. When it does, there ...” Peridot sighed. “There won’t _be_ an Earth to be safe on.”

The Lazuli took a step back, putting her hand to her temple.

“B-but that doesn’t make any sense! You said you were going to restart the Kindergartens and--”

“No ...” Peridot cringed as she glanced back up at the Lazuli. “Technically _you_ said that. I never did.”

The Lazuli stared at Peridot, realization dawning on her face. She glared, her eyes filled with a fury Peridot had never seen on another Gem before.

“ _You knew_ ...” the Lazuli said, her voice filled with disgust.

Peridot felt the beads of sweat on her forehead vibrate.

“Lazuli, if you’ll just let me explain, I--”

“You _KNEW_!”

The Lazuli slammed her fist on the table. The moment she did, the beads of sweat on Peridot’s forehead froze. Peridot staggered back, causing the tiny drops of ice to fall and shatter on the floor.

“You knew the whole time!” the Lazuli shouted. “ _You lied to me_!”

“I--I--” Peridot found herself unable to speak at first. She hadn’t expected the Lazuli to react this poorly. There had to be something Peridot could say to make her understand. “I had a mission to complete, I--”

“That’s your excuse?!” The Lazuli clutched at her hair. “You let me think you’d help me when you _knew_ you were lying, and it’s _okay_ just because someone TOLD you to do it?!”

“Well ... what else was I supposed to do?!” Peridot shouted back, scrambling to her own defense.

“You could have told me the truth! You could have just SAID you couldn’t help me instead of lying!”

“I needed information! You wouldn’t have provided it otherwise! It’s not like I _wanted_ this situation to happen!”

“Oh, _screw you_!” the Lazuli said. “You lied because you _chose_ to do it! No one held a Destabilizer to your head and forced you to do anything! Don’t pretend you’re just an innocent victim here because _you’re not_!”

Peridot clenched her fist. Whatever feelings she had for the Lazuli were being drowned out by her own anger.

Peridot didn’t deserve this, she told herself. She wasn’t a bad Gem.

She ... she wasn’t.

“Y-you know, you should be _thanking_ me!” Peridot said, glaring back at the Lazuli. “At least I got the information this way! I mean--”

Peridot walked over the corner and picked up the Gem Destabilizer she had flung there cycles ago. She waggled it in the air.

“Would you have _rather_ I actually used this?!” Peridot said.

The Lazuli let out a bitter laugh.

“ _Yes, I absolutely would have_!” the Lazuli said.

Peridot shook her head in disbelief.

“ _What_?” Peridot said.

“Yeah, you know why?!” the Lazuli went on. To Peridot’s horror, her voice started to crack. “Because at least if you’d just tortured me, I never would have thought you actually wanted to help! _I never would have thought there was a single Gem who actually cared about what happened to me_! I never would have thought ...”

The Lazuli covered her face with one hand. Her next words were almost a whisper.

“I never would have thought ... you were my friend ...”

Peridot felt a sinking feeling in her chest as the Lazuli continued.

“You know, I actually thought you were different,” the Lazuli said. “I mean, I’m not stupid. I knew you were only talking to me because you were ordered to, but ... when I heard you helped a Pearl, I thought maybe you were at least _decent_. But I guess that was just another trick--”

“That wasn’t a--”

“ _Shut up_!” the Lazuli snapped. “I finally get it now. You never cared about _me_ at all. You didn’t act nice to help me, you did it to help _yourself_. You only cared about not getting your hands dirty. Even when you did your little freakout and I actually felt _sorry_ for you, you were only concerned about _yourself_ , what _you’d_ have to do, that this was all something happening to _you_.”

“That’s-- I didn’t--” Peridot stammered. Her teeth were clenched in rage. “You can’t just--”

_She was wrong_ , Peridot thought. Peridot wasn’t selfish. S-she was just doing her job. That was the right thing, clearly!

She was a good Gem.

_She was_.

Peridot practically growled.

“I-I don’t have to take this from a prisoner!” Peridot shouted. “What about you, huh? What about all those Rubies you reduced to their Gem before you got here?! And ... and how do I even know all that business about you being just an innocent victim is true either?! You ...”

Peridot pointed at the Lazuli.

“You brought this on yourself! You’re no better than me!” she said.

The Lazuli just shook her head, the same disgusted look on her face.

“You don’t even know how to _function_ without blaming someone else,” the Lazuli muttered. “That’s just sad.”

“ _Silence_!” Peridot said. “You ... you know what?! I--I don’t even know why I came here! It’s _certainly_ not because you deserve it! I’m-- I’m just gonna go back to the bridge and forget all about you and your stupid human friend.”

Peridot pivoted around and started towards the door.

But before she could reach it, she heard the Lazuli speak, this time in a softer voice.

“He’s not human ...” the Lazuli said.

Peridot stopped, but did not turn around.

“What?” Peridot said.

“I was lying,” the Lazuli said. “Steven’s not human ... well, not a _normal_ human, anyway. He has Gem powers.”

Peridot put her hand to her forehead. She exhaled.

“I see ...” Peridot said. “Sorry Lazuli, but just saying _anything_ to convince me to take him to Homeworld won’t change anything.”

“I’m not lying this time!” The Lazuli raised her voice. “I--I thought keeping it secret would protect him but now ...” The Lazuli shouted. “He has healing powers! He healed my Gem! He’s _useful_!”

Peridot could tell the Lazuli was pleading with her, but she still wouldn’t turn around.

“Please,” the Lazuli said, “if there is even a sliver of _something_ inside you, please--”

Peridot clenched her fist.

“I’m not the bad Gem here, Lazuli,” Peridot said. “And I’m not accepting any other lie from you.”

The Lazuli said nothing in response. Peridot finally risked a look back at her. Her expression was lost, empty ... _broken_.

Peridot felt an odd ... discomfort in her Gem, but told herself to ignore it. It was nothing.

It’s not like Peridot cared. There was no reason for her to. Jasper was right all along. Peridot was just fulfilling her mission. That’s all that mattered. Fulfilling her mission was the _correct_ thing to do. Peridot didn’t care about anything else.

Really.

The two Gems stood in silence until the door opened automatically. Jasper walked in, looking agitated.

“If you two are just about done feeling each other up, we’re approaching the base,” Jasper said. She turned to Peridot pointed her thumb out the door. “You mind maybe starting the landing sequence so we don’t crash?”

Peridot shook the intrusive thoughts from her head. She straightened her back. It was time to get back to business. No more nonsense.

“Yes ... of course,” Peridot said. She glanced at the Gem Destabilizer in her hand and held it out to Jasper. “You can have this back.”

Jasper swiped it from her touch stumps, adjusting the dial at the bottom.

“Gotta admit, I’m a little impressed,” Jasper said. “I didn’t think a Gem like you actually had it in you to hurt someone ...”

Before Peridot could say anything, the Lazuli spoke up.

“ _She does_ ,” the Lazuli said, her tone resigned and distant, as if all the life had been drained from her.

Peridot didn’t respond, just walked out the door.

At least this mission will be over soon, Peridot told herself. They’ll land on the planet, deal with the rebels, check on the Cluster, and then they’d leave.

Peridot would never have to come to the Earth again, never have to see the Lazuli again, never have to think about any of this ever again ...

She had a job to do. It was time for her to act like it. No more indulging in her defects. She just had to ignore her intrusive feelings just a little longer, long enough for this mission to be done, then everything would be back to normal.

It wouldn’t be long. Not long at all ...

* * *

* * *

Peridot finished her story. Her knees were folded to her chest as she looked out at the ocean.

“... as you’re already well aware, everything after that did not proceed the way I thought it would,” Peridot muttered.

Everyone stared at her. Steven and Connie sat on her left, exchanging a glance with each other. Amethyst’s eyes were set only on Peridot. She was silent.

Peridot could only imagine what they thought of her now, hearing what she did.

Steven was the first to speak.

“Uh ...” Steven chuckled nervously. “I should probably mention there’s no hard feelings about the whole ‘leaving me to die on Earth’ part. Just wanna put that out there, hehe ...”

Peridot shot Steven a glare. He stopped chuckling.

“Well ... I’m glad finding out I’m a terrible Gem is so amusing to you, _Steven_ ,” Peridot said.

“Peridot ...” Amethyst said.

Amethyst’s hand moved towards Peridot, but she shirked away from it. Peridot didn’t feel like being touched.

Connie spoke up on her other side.

“Peridot, you’re not a bad Gem,” Connie said. “You just made mistakes. You’re not like that anymore--”

“WILL YOU ALL JUST _STOP SAYING THAT_?!” Peridot snapped.

Connie flinched, taken aback by Peridot’s sudden shouting. Steven almost unconsciously took her hand in response.

Peridot’s eyes softened. She took a breath, then clawed at her hair.

“Great! I’m _still_ hurting everyone around me! _Amazing_!” Peridot said. Her voice cracked. She could feel tears forming but she hardly cared. She couldn’t stop it anyway.

“Peridot,” Connie said. “I--It’s okay--”

“ _No, it’s not_!” Peridot said. “Were you even _listening_ to what happened?! I manipulated Lapis just to get what I needed and when she called me out on it, I just made her feel even more hopeless! As if she didn’t have ENOUGH reasons to never trust anyone again, I just make it exponentially worse and now she’s in a fusion at the bottom of the ocean and guess what? I brought her here so _that’s all my fault too_!”

“Peridot,” Steven said softly. “It’s not like that--”

“ _Yes, it is like that_!” Peridot said. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. She pounded her fist on the sand. “And-- and you all keep saying ‘I’m not that Gem anymore’ over and over again ... but I am! I’m still the same Gem who did all that no matter how much I’d like to think otherwise! And last night when you all kept ... going on and on about how I was so good at talking and ‘helping’ people, I realized something else ...

“ _I haven’t learned a thing_! I’m doing the exact same thing as when I lied to Lapis!”

“What?” Connie said. “Peridot, you’re not making any sense--”

“ _Think about it_!” Peridot said, failing to steady her voice. “When I was with Lapis, I was _sooo_ convinced I was a good Gem when all I was doing was doing was whatever I had to do to get what I wanted. And all I ended up doing was hurting another Gem. How is ... how can I even _tell_ if all the things I’ve said that made all of you like me is genuine or not?! I could have just been saying that to, I don’t know, get you all to like me?! I don’t even ... I--I don’t know how to tell anymore ...”

Peridot wiped the tears from her eyes and clutched her knees closer to her chest.

“Face it ...” Peridot muttered. “I’m so defective I can’t even trust my own thoughts and feelings. I ... don’t know if I’m capable of caring about others or not. You’d all be better off staying away from me. At least that way I can’t harm anyone else ...”

Peridot could feel Steven and Connie’s eyes on her, but she couldn’t bear to even look at them. She wanted to just bury her head in her knees and be left alone.

But before she could do that, Amethyst stood up.

Peridot looked up. Amethyst had a serious look on her face. Aside from the incident at Vidalia’s, it was the only time Peridot had seen her carefree demeanor disappear.

“Peri ...” Amethyst said, looking in Peridot’s eyes. “I want to say that I see you’re upset ... and I understand. I understand _a lot_ about feeling bad about yourself over bad stuff you’ve done. And I get that you feel bad and confused and have the feeling that maybe people would be better off away from you ...”

Amethyst took a deep breath. She raised her voice, but didn’t shout.

“But you are a _complete idiot_ if you _actually_ believe that you don’t care about other people or you _actually_ think you’re still a bad Gem after everything that’s happened! Are you even _for real_?!”

“W-what?” Peridot said.

To Peridot’s surprise, Connie joined in.

“Amethyst is right,” Connie said. “I mean ... it’s understandable having a hard time moving past a really bad mistake you made, but ... that doesn’t make you a bad Gem. It doesn’t mean you don’t understand or care about people. Everyone makes mistakes, but those mistakes don’t define your life. I mean ... look at all the good things you’ve done since you got here!”

“Like what?” Peridot said.

Amethyst snorted.

“Okay well, helping save the Earth from the Cluster, let’s start there ...” Amethyst said.

Peridot rolled her eyes.

“Well ... of course I’d try to help save my own life since I’m stuck here! That’s _still_ selfish!” Peridot said.

“But that’s not the only thing you’ve done!” Connie said. “What about when you apologized for being rude after we first met?”

Peridot’s eyes widened, but she said nothing. Connie went on.

“O-or when you went to Vidalia’s just because you wanted to make Amethyst happy?” she said. “Or when you helped me and Steven last night about all the Stevonnie stuff? You even helped my mom try to understand what was happening when you _barely_ know her! Of course you care about other people!”

“Yeah!” Steven chimed in. “And even when you were working for Homeworld, you _still_ helped a Pearl when Jasper was mean to her and you _still_ told Lapis the truth when you didn’t have to! If you didn’t care about anyone else, you wouldn’t have done that! You ...” Steven lowered his voice. “You’re a good Gem, Peridot.”

Peridot thought for a moment. She didn’t feel any different, but ... she couldn’t argue that all those events were objectively true.

“I--” Peridot said. “I wish I felt like that was true. But ...” She sighed. “How can I be a good Gem if I’ve hurt others the way I have?”

Amethyst put her hand on Peridot’s shoulder. This time, Peridot did not shirk away. The warmth was comforting.

“Trust me, I’ve been there,” Amethyst said. “I’ve done some really rotten stuff in the past too ... and I don’t really like myself a lot of the time. But I do know there are people who I make happy, who really care and ... that makes me think maybe I am a decent Gem even if I don’t always feel like it.”

Amethyst smiled.

“You kinda helped teach me that, Peridot,” Amethyst said.

“What?” Peridot said.

“Yeah. I mean ...” Amethyst pulled her hand away and touched her own shoulder. “I mean, when you got really upset at Vidalia because of my stupid prank, I felt awful. But you understood. You told me you admired that I cared about others and you forgave me. And, you know ... that means a lot.

“Our lives are better with you around, Peridot.”

Peridot blinked. She didn’t know what to say.

“I ... truly make you all feel that much better just by being around you?” Peridot asked.

“Of course!” Connie shouted. “You’re our _friend_! We’ll always love you!”

Peridot felt her cheeks flush.

“I ...” Peridot cleared her throat. “I ... haven’t encountered anyone who ever directed that word at me before.” She opened her mouth, but her voice failed her.

Amethyst leaned her head on Peridot’s shoulder. A tingling feeling ran down her Gem.

“Well, maybe you should get used to it,” Amethyst said, a sly smile on her face.

It was odd. Peridot had been so used to feeling afraid all the time of ... something, be it failure or death or facing the truth ...

But in that moment, she didn’t feel afraid of _anything_ , because her friends were with her ...

It felt ... _warm_.

“T-thank you,” Peridot said finally. “I-- I don’t think I deserve all that but--”

“No,” Connie interrupted. “You do. You deserve all of it.”

Peridot looked at Connie and could see by the look in her eyes that Connie meant it.

Peridot smiled.

“T-thanks,” Peridot managed to say.

She stared back out at the ocean, then frowned.

Before she could say anything, Steven noticed her expression and said, “We’ll find them soon. I know it.”

His surprisingly serious tone almost made Peridot believe him.

“I hope so,” Peridot said. “I simply wish there was something I could do. Anything.”

Steven and Connie exchanged a look.

“Well ... maybe there is _one_ thing ...” Connie said.

* * *

When Steven returned with the glass bottle, the writing apparatus, and the sheets of pay-per, it took Peridot nearly an hour and six crumpled up sheets to compose the message. After several long-winded attempts that disgusted Peridot, she finally settled on a short message:

_I’m sorry._

_You don’t have to forgive me, but I want you to know I’m sorry._

_I hope I have another chance to help you. I want to help you._

(Peridot paused and considered ending the message right there ... but when she remembered how Amethyst had mentioned how she valued Peridot’s forgiveness, she found it necessary to include a final line ...)

_Both of you._

_\- Peridot_

She wrote the same message on the back in Gem language, just in case the Lazuli had never learned the humans’ written language.

Connie, Steven, and Amethyst all read the message. No words were exchanged, just smiles and nods of approval.

Steven took the message, rolled it up, and inserted it in the bottle. He sealed it with a cork.

He handed it back to Peridot.

“You do the honors,” Steven said.

Peridot took a deep breath. She held the bottle in her hands and approached the shore line. The waves brushed against her gravity connectors.

Mustering up all the strength she could, she hurled the bottle out into the sea. The tide took the bottle with it.

Amethyst, Connie, and Steven approached behind her. Amethyst silently took Peridot’s hand.

They watch the bottle drift off into the sea.

“You know,” Peridot said after a moment’s thought, “the odds of that actually reaching them are almost non-existent.”

Steven turned with his mouth agape.

“ _Don’t say that_!” Steven said. “Remember, a positive attitude always helps!” He waved his hand towards the sea. “I bet our little bottle will make it all the way to--”

Before Steven could finish, a wave crashed against the bottle, swallowing it. When the wave subsided, they could not longer see it.

Peridot’s mouth fell open as she stared at the waves, the bottle no longer on the surface.

Steven’s face paled. A bead of sweat dripped down his face.

“... _ooooh_ ,” he said.

Amethyst only blinked and said, “Whelp!”

Connie grimaced.

“I--it was more of a symbolic gesture, really ...” Connie said.

Peridot remained still.

Until, to her own surprise, she sputtered out a laugh.

She clutched her stomach, doubling over.

She could feel the others looking at her as if she had lost what remaining sanity she had ... but when she opened her watery eyes, she could see them starting to laugh as well.

Peridot couldn’t articulate why she started laughing. It was just after all the bad luck Peridot had since coming to Earth, it seemed so ... _appropriate_.

* * *

After a long bitter laugh, they returned to the house. Pearl greeted them at the door. Her eyes were only on Peridot.

“There you are!” Pearl said, worried. “I was wondering when you’d all get back! What have you all been doing? Is everything alright?”

Peridot felt Connie, Steven, and Amethyst’s eyes on her as well. She exhaled.

“I’m fine,” Peridot said. For the first time in perhaps ever, she meant it.

Pearl studied her, as if trying to determine the truth of her statement, then nodded.

“Well!” Pearl said. She smiled and clasped her hands together. “You can see what I’ve been working on all day!”

“Huh? What are you--” Then Peridot remembered. Today had been so eventful, she had forgotten Pearl had asked to fix up the bathroom.

Connie and Steven brightened up.

“Oh yeah!” Connie said. “We saw it earlier! I’m sure you’ll love it!”

Intrigued by the enthusiasm, Peridot walked past Pearl towards the bathroom. The door was already open for her.

Her eyes went as wide as saucers when she saw inside.

It was pristine. The toilet was no longer shattered. The cracked, broken mirror was replaced by the beautiful portrait Vidalia had made of Peridot. There was a brand new shower curtain. Everything was intact.

It was no longer broken.

Peridot’s cheeks hurt from smiling. Her eyes were drawn to the tile floor.

On the floor, she saw a small gouge, the one made when Peridot foolishly impaled herself on Connie’s sword.

Oddly enough, the memory of it made Peridot feel warm ... not so much the excruciating pain part of it, but everything that came from it.

It was hard to believe that day was where everything started. Even though it hadn’t been that long ago, it seemed like a lifetime ago.

_Maybe they’re all right_ , Peridot said. _Maybe I have changed since then ..._

She heard footsteps behind her as the others entered the bathroom with her. Peridot heard Pearl’s voice.

“Oh dear, I’m sorry about that,” Pearl said. “I didn’t have any way to repair the tile just yet. If you want I can make sure to fix it ...”

Steven and Amethyst gazed all around at Pearl’s handiwork. Connie however walked up and laid a gentle hand on Peridot’s back.

Her eyes were on the mark on the floor as well. Just like Peridot, Connie smiled.

“I think it’s fine just the way it is,” Connie said.

Peridot nodded.

“Yes,” Peridot agreed.

Peridot turned around towards her friends. They were all so happy to be there with Peridot ... and thinking back to everything they said at the beach, Peridot felt like she finally understood why. They had always told her she was a good Gem, but now was the first time Peridot started to _believe_ it.

Just like at the beach, she felt full of a warmth she could not fully describe, but she never wanted it to go away.

“I love it,” Peridot said.

She no longer felt angry at herself or afraid.

Even if it wasn’t permanent, in that moment, Peridot felt at home.

* * *

_Somewhere in the darkest depths, a bottle with a piece of paper fell against the sea floor._

_And a massive green hand raked it towards its body, hidden in the darkness ..._

* * *

**THE END _  
_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew ... that took a while.
> 
> Thank you so much for taking the time to read this story. I hope you've enjoyed it. Just wanted to take the time to say that I'm not through in this AU yet ([The Grieving Process](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5980699) still needs a final chapter and [Work Emails](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6502804) will continue to be ongoing for a bit), but aside from the existing ongoings I might take a break for a while. I'll still be writing SU stuff, but I might try some stuff outside of this "verse" for a while. It's been about a year working on this so I feel like a break is warranted.
> 
> I Want to Understand is far and away the most popular thing I've ever written here, so if you've enjoyed this, I hope you take the time to check out some of my other SU work as well if you never have. If you specifically enjoyed the kinda comedic tone of this story, you might enjoy the new ongoing I'm doing called ["The Connie Maheswaran Fanclub (Or: How Connie Became the Most Popular Topic in School After She Pulled a Sword Out of Lion in Front of Literally Everyone)"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7746817/chapters/17662573). Any interest you have in this story or any of my others is greatly appreciated.
> 
> Once again, thank you all so much. I wouldn't have stuck with this so much if you guys hadn't constantly encouraged me and told me how much you love this story. The response to this story has always been incredible and I am very grateful.
> 
> And now, to close us out, I have Special Thanks to dish out. Big thank you's to all of the following people:
> 
> LonelyTurret182 from reddit for beta reading every single chapter after the first two, who definitely went above and beyond the call of duty for critique.
> 
> fennric from reddit, br42, [swordtheguy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swordtheguy/pseuds/Swordtheguy), and [Doc_Cairo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doc_Cairo/pseuds/Doc_Cairo) for beta reading/proofreading also.
> 
> Every single one of these other fanfic authors for their encouragement and support. I consider these people genuine friends and an inspiration to me. I urge you to check out all of their work if you haven't already done so:
> 
> [BarracudaHeart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarracudaHeart/pseuds/BarracudaHeart)   
>  [Swordtheguy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swordtheguy/pseuds/Swordtheguy)   
>  [Doc_Cairo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doc_Cairo/pseuds/Doc_Cairo)   
>  [CompletelyDifferent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CompletelyDifferent/pseuds/CompletelyDifferent)   
>  [Airamcg](https://archiveofourown.org/users/airamcg/pseuds/airamcg)
> 
> Everyone on the /r/StevenUniverseFanfic subreddit.
> 
> And of course, you.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading.


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